


Coming Clean

by bluegrasskitty



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: A lot of references to musicals and movies, Affairs, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, DL Relationship, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Mob Feels, Neutral Karma LW, Smut, Sneaking Around, Unrequited Crush, Vault 101, Vault Politics, precocious teenagers, romance in the wasteland, shadow government
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:53:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 66,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28622097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegrasskitty/pseuds/bluegrasskitty
Summary: Before Elizabeth Booth was reborn in blood and fire into the wasteland's favorite hero for hire, she was just a girl with a guitar hoping to lead a life of quiet mediocrity.Enter one Butch DeLoria.Can two kids high on hormones and love overcome a mob family, an annoyingly perceptive dad and two well-intentioned best friends with nothing but sarcasm and sheer moxie? We're gonna find out.(Story begins one year before the vault opens so expect a lot of vault life, politics, workplace drama and incredibly awkward social encounters.)
Relationships: Amata Almodovar/Freddie Gomez, Butch DeLoria/Female Lone Wanderer, Butch DeLoria/Lone Wanderer, Butch DeLoria/Susie Mack
Comments: 140
Kudos: 57





	1. If you’re going to start with logic, you might as well give up.

_**July 21st, 2276** _

“Once more, Miss Mack. From the top.”

Elizabeth tried to not be so obvious about sighing in frustration. What was supposed to have been an hour long rehearsal was coming up on  _ three _ and she was _ starving.  _ Her stomach growled fiercely as the idea of a big, juicy cheeseburger settled front and center in her brain.

She was getting a double. Definitely. All the fries Andy would give her.

Freddie leaned in a little and whispered, “Hungry?”

“Famished.”

“Me, too.” He flexed his hands and winced a bit, “I'm pretty sure I'm about four chords away from my thumb falling off.”

She laughed quietly, “So switch to a pick.”

“Rhythm guitar is all about finesse. I don’t have as much control with one of --”

Mr. Holden sharply rapped the baton against his podium. “A little less noise from our guitarists would be nice.”

She scooted down in her seat under the heat of his gaze and kept her eyes on her boots as snickers filled the orchestra room. “Sorry, Mr. Holden.”

“Yeah, we’re sorry.”

He sniffed at them and nodded to Susie at the back of the room. “My apologies, dear. Let’s begin.”

The embarrassment she felt all but evaporated in the face of Susie Mack’s horrific butchering of  _ How Lovely to be a Woman. _ Nothing was as embarrassing as that. Surely. Freddie’s knee nudged hers and she deliberately turned her head away so she couldn’t see the no doubt hilarious look of horror on his face.

Unfortunately, that meant her eyes landed right on their production’s Conrad Birdie. Butch DeLoria. Somehow. Giving them both the stink eye from his stool across the room. Blue eyes blazing with frustrated aggression since he couldn't very well go after them right in front of Mr. Holden. The moment he realized she was looking his way, he flipped her the bird from behind his script and she rolled her eyes in response. Like it was her fault his girlfriend sounded remarkably like a goose someone had thrown into a blender.

Amata quietly let herself into the music room. Immediately wincing as Susie failed, for the millionth time, to hit her F sharp. Elizabeth watched her with hopeful eyes and smiled as she approached the podium.

“Uh, Mr. Holden? Sir?”

He cut Susie off and huffed, “Oh,  _ now _ what is it?!”

“I’m sorry, but it’s almost eight. My father said to let you know because the cafeteria is going to close soon and --”   


“Yes, yes, alright.” He abruptly dropped his baton. “We weren’t getting anywhere anyway. Everyone’s dismissed, save Miss Booth.”

Of course.

Activity swirled around her as everyone else put away their instruments and fled. Freddie gave her a sympathetic sort of shrug as he headed off. No doubt on his way to canoodle over a malt with Amata. Lucky bastard. She’d kill for a malt right now. Chocolate. Whipped cream, sprinkles and  _ two _ cherries. It wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t been painting sets all day and completely spaced on getting lunch.

Mr. Holden tapped her music stand to get her attention and his shrug was a lot less sympathetic. “Rewrite.”

_ “Again?!” _

“It’s not her key.”

Elizabeth grumbled as she accepted the heavy score from him, “Is  _ any _ key her key?”

His eyebrow swiftly rose, “That’s no way to talk about our leading lady.”

“I just… I mean, I get that she looks the part. I really do. But looking like Ann-Margaret isn’t enough. She couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket!”

“Miss Booth, when I retire some day, it will fall to you as the vault’s new theater director to manage not only our musicians and actors, but our audience’s expectations. How she sounds doesn’t matter near as much as how she looks in this particular instance --”

“But --”

“-- and I’ll remind you that Ann-Margaret was, herself, often besmirched by acting snobs for just being a pretty face.”

She sighed, “Uh-huh.”

“Besides,  _ no one else _ auditioned for the part.” He gave her a hard look that had her staring at her shoes again.

“You know I can’t perform solo.”

“Yes, I know. So much talent stifled by the silliest case of stage fright I ever saw.” He tsked at her and rapped his knuckles on the book in her lap. “I expect this fully transposed by next week. Start with Miss Mack’s part. Might I suggest you set aside some time to have her come in and run a few scales for you? We’ll probably get a better idea of what her natural key is.

She was pretty sure that key hadn’t actually been invented yet, and an hour of being trapped in a practice room with Susie sounded as close to hell as she could possibly imagine, but she smiled and nodded anyway. This was her job, after all. The G.O.A.T. had said so and she’d been apprenticing as the assistant theater director for two years now. She knew better than anyone that there was no getting around this headache.

“Yes, sir.”

“Thank you.” He started off and paused, “Oh, and before I forget, the Overseer said you need to wear headphones while practicing your guitar from now on. Apparently you were loud enough yesterday that he had a few complaints.”

Pink flooded into her face, “Oh.”

“The soundproofing in the practice rooms does need revamping. I’m sure it wasn’t your fault, really, but you know how some people around here feel about that rock-n-roll stuff.”

“Right.”

He seemed to take pity on her and lowered his voice, “Confidentially, the best acoustics  _ and _ the best soundproofing are in the auditorium itself… which you  _ do _ have a key for.”

Elizabeth nodded, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good night, Miss Booth.”

“Good night, Mr. Holden.”

Everyone was already gone by the time he left. Just her and good old Goldie, her beloved 1958 Les Paul Goldtop. She idly strummed a few quiet chords and sighed. Should have known working on her own stuff would get her busted. It wasn’t even really rock-n-roll exactly, but some of the older folks couldn’t seem to understand that just because they heard an electric guitar didn’t automatically mean somebody was making devil music somewhere.

She hated using headphones. Made her ears all hot. One more cord to deal with. This was such bullshit. Maybe she would have to try out the auditorium. Felt a little silly opening it for just herself, but maybe this was one of the rare perks of her job.

There were no fries to be had by the time she reached the cafeteria. No cheeseburgers, either. All that remained was a sad bowl of Jell-O with fruit floating in it and a pimento cheese sandwich. Old people food. Better than nothing, but still. Having no choice, she inhaled it just in time to have Andy shut the lights off on her.

“We’re closed!”

She wiped her mouth with a napkin and nodded, “Yeah. Thanks. I noticed.”

“Come again!”

“Where else am I gonna go?”

She wished Stanley wouldn’t set the Mister Handy’s personality so cheerful. It came off weird and creepy. It was probably supposed to be the ultimate in customer service, but she was definitely not a fan. Then again, maybe she was just cranky. She was still operating at a calorie deficit here.

“Good night, Andy.”

“Good night!”

Nuka in hand, she shuffled through the corridors back towards home. Since nobody was around she took the opportunity to take down her ponytail and groaned in relief. Thing was making her head hurt. Or maybe that was just from her brain trying to escape the godawful warbling she'd been subjected to all evening. It wasn’t that late, but she was  _ beat. _ There was some monster movie double feature showing tonight that she’d kicked around the idea of going to, just as a joke, but after the day she’d had, all she wanted was to flop down on the couch and enjoy the quiet.

Elizabeth sang softly to herself as she went, “How lovely to be a woman… and change from boys to men. To go to a fancy nightclub, and stay out after ten. How lovely to be so grown up and  _ free!”  _ She paused and nodded to herself, “See, that’s how you hit an F sharp. It’s not hard. It really isn’t.”

She still couldn’t believe Mr. Holden had wanted her to go out for the part of Kim though. That was crazy. She wasn’t a Kim type. She was barely a Rosie. Amata had even said that if it weren’t for her hair color, she’d be a dead ringer for Janet Leigh from the movie. Not that the actress had been sporting her real hair color anyway. Elizabeth’s dark brown was far closer to that awful jet black bottle job than Ms. Leigh’s natural dirty blonde.

Or maybe it was a wig. It did look awfully stiff, but that was probably on purpose, right? To contrast with Ann-Margaret’s wild mane of red-gold.

Anyway, even if she had gone out and landed the thing, she’d have had to deal with Paulie as her Hugo and that was terrifying. Not as bad as Butch being Conrad himself, but still pretty bad. She would never understand what possessed the Tunnel Snakes as a group to audition for the annual summer musical, but she was definitely keeping an eye on them. The production was probably safe so long as Susie had the lead, but still. You could never be too careful with a Snake.

She couldn’t help humming as she walked. Damn songs had been stuck in her head for months now. “Did they really get pinned? Did she kiss him and cry? Did he pin the pin on? Or was he too shy? Well, I heard they got pinned Yeah! Yeah! I was hopin' they would! Uh-Huh! Now they're livin' at last. Goin' steady for good!”   


Honestly, the whole thing was incredibly derivative. Especially as most of the cast had recently graduated high school. She’d campaigned hard for something a little more exciting, like  _ Guys and Dolls _ or maybe even  _ A Star is Born, _ but oh no. The Overseer didn’t want anything with gambling, even if the sinners in question find redemption at the end. And he definitely didn’t want a tragic story of soiled innocence and failed dreams.

Maybe she should have suggested  _ Summer Stock? _ Everybody liked  _ Get Happy, _ right? Nobody could argue that wasn't a family friendly kinda show. It even took place on a damn farm. You couldn't get more wholesome than Judy Garland in overalls on a tractor.

"Forget your troubles, c'mon get happy. You better chase all your cares away. Shout hallelujah, c'mon get happy. Get ready for the judgement day."

"Hey! Nosebleed!"

A long suffering sigh left her, but she didn't stop. Butch was kinda dumb and she'd just turned a corner. Maybe he was dumb enough to not understand object permanence. One could only hope.

"Hey!" His hand wrapped around her arm and he jerked her back against the wall. "I know you heard me, you fuckin' nerd!"

Some of the Nuka sloshed onto her hand and she pushed him away. "Let go of me, jerk."

"Where do you get off!"

"What?"

"You and your little stooge about made Susie cry today!"

"What? When?"

"When you two were making fun of her, dumbass!"

"When were we making fun of her?"

"What!" He shoved her harder against the wall. "Are you stupid or something? Everybody saw you get busted!"

"Oh. That."

"Yeah, that!"

"We weren't talking about Susie."

"Like hell you weren't."

Elizabeth pointed at her drink, "I was hungry. My stomach growled & Freddie asked me about it. Then we were talking about his callouses and --"

"Oh, _gross._ That's what you freaks like to talk about? Callouses?!"

She ignored his interruption. "I wasn't making fun of your girlfriend, okay? I'm sorry if she thought we were and her feelings got hurt. There. Now can you please get out of the way? I'd like to get some sleep."

"It ain't even nine yet."

"Yes, thank you, Big Ben. I've been up since five. I'm  _ tired." _

"Jesus. Why?"

"I was working."

"Oh." He finally stepped back out of her space but that angry scowl hadn't gone anywhere. "Don't think I dunno you jerks are laughing at her though. You need to cut that shit out."

She narrowed her eyes, "If she's so worried about people making fun of her, then maybe she should think about putting in a little effort and  _ learning how to sing." _

"The fuck did you just say?!"

This was tiresome. She was  _ tired _ of him picking on her. They were eighteen for heaven's sake. You'd think he'd have grown up a little by now.

What would Janet Leigh do?

Elizabeth grinned up at him as the perfect role for this situation formed in her mind. Far enough out of character for her that he immediately looked confused. She took a step forward and he actually stepped back. The power and temporary confidence she felt was amazing.

Improv, baby.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you tone deaf, too? That would explain a lot."

"I ain't tone deaf!"

"Butch." Another step and they were almost touching. Passion. Charisma. Absolute dedication to the part. She was like a whole different person. Her pout was suddenly the stuff of legends. "Don't you get tired of these childish games?"

"What? Hey, don't try to change the subject here!"

"We're supposed to be grown-ups now, y'know?" Maybe a little more physicality? Really lean into it. Her free hand planted itself on his chest and she thoroughly enjoyed the way his eyes widened with shock as she slid it up his vault suit. "Don't you think there might be a better way for us to solve these silly little disputes?"

"W-what?"

She bit her lip as an impish smirk crept over her face, "I've been bad, right? That's why you tracked me down, wasn't it? To punish me." She felt the innocent batting of her dark blue eyes was a nice touch. Just keep throwing as many contradictory signals at him as she possibly could so his brain would eventually short itself out. "I bet a big,  _ strong _ man like you knows all about how to handle  _ naughty _ little girls like me, don't you?"

If his eyes got any bigger, they were going to fall out of his head. "Uh... yeah. Maybe."

Ha. He was completely lost. Perfect. Her pout returned with a vengeance.  _ "Maybe? _ Well... why don't you think about it for a little bit and then get back to me, hmm?" A flash of brilliance hit her and she gently mussed his precious hair before slowly withdrawing her hand. Projecting the image of a frustrated tease for all she was worth.

"Yeah, I'll uh... I'll definitely think about it."

"Good. Sweet dreams, handsome." One last, lingering glance and she sashayed away. The consummate black widow. Swaying her hips as she went, knowing perfectly well he was checking out her ass.

Which was fine, really. He had the attention span of a goldfish. Plus, it was Friday, so chances were good he'd drink himself silly and think the whole thing was a dream. After all, she was just a drama nerd to most people. The idea of her as some seductress was so ridiculous as to be hysterical.

She'd never even been kissed.

* * *

Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to start on the epic task of transposing an entire show into something their diva wannabe could actually sing, but it was the weekend. Weekends in the vault were for time with family or play or dates if you were so inclined. Dad was forever busy in the clinic these days, so that was out. She'd never had much luck as far as dating went.

So that left play.

She readied her bat and swung hard as the pitching machine lobbed a solid fast ball at her. The satisfying crack of the bat always made her smile. It was too bad they didn't have an adult league. She'd always enjoyed baseball.

"Hey."

Swing and a miss. _Shit._

She awkwardly looked over her shoulder. Butch was slouched against the cage. Giving her some kinda look. She narrowed her eyes and considered it carefully. Kind of had a James Dean thing happening right now. Weird.

Well, whatever he was here for, it couldn't be good. She shook her head and returned her focus to the task at hand. "I'm armed, you know."

“Heh. Dame like you is always armed.”

“Oookay.” She swung and immediately scowled. Pop up fly. He was messing with her concentration. “Why are you here?”

“Wanted to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Cause I thought about it.”

“Hmm. That must have hurt.”

“Ha ha.”

“What did you think about exactly?”

“What you said last night.”

Fuck. Elizabeth rolled her eyes and decided to go for the old temporary amnesia bit. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“Uh-huh. See, I figured you’d be like this. You’re a whole different chick after dark, huh?”

Oh, God. He actually thought she was some kind of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hide succubus. “Don’t you have anything else to do today? It’s Saturday. Isn’t that usually when you disappear with Susie somewhere?”

“Oh, ho. Jealous, baby?”

“More like annoyed. It’s hard to deliver scripts and schedule extra rehearsals when you can’t ever track down one of your leads.”

“Hmm. You ever think about anything other than work?”

“Do you ever think about work at all?”

“Nah, not really.”

“Well, there you go.”

“You should think about opening up your stance more.”

Was he trying to pick a fight? Really? There was no way in hell he didn’t remember her team beating the pants off his just a few months ago. She’d even been made MVP and everything.

“There’s nothing wrong with  _ my _ stance, thank you. When I want advice from a loser, I’ll ask.”

“You shouldn’t wear your hair in a ponytail so much, either. It’s bad for it.”

She sighed heavily and finally turned around, “Gee, thanks. Any more life advice you wanna lay on me or are we done here?”

“Yeah.” He grinned at her from behind the netting. “You should go see a movie with me.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Let’s say I don’t.”

“Come on, Bets. Don’t you wanna have a little fun before you get too old to?”

Her eyebrow rose at the nickname. “Don’t call me that… and I’m barely eighteen. Do you think girls come with some kind of expiration date or something?”

“Yeah. Clock’s tickin’, baby.”

“You’re gross.”

“And you’re cute.”

“Sure, for a beanpole, right? Isn’t that what you and your little friends always called me?”

“Did we?”

“Stretch, Jolly Green Giant, Bigfoot --”

“Ech.” He waved his hand as if all those years of bullying didn’t matter in the slightest. “You were too tall back then and you know it.”

“But now I’m not?”   


“Nah, now you’re just right.”

“Hmm.”

“Legs that just don’t quit, and that ass… I dunno if anyone’s ever told you before, but you could make a whole banquet outta that ass.”

_ “Gross.” _

“You still do all that dancin’ and shit like when we were kids?”

“It’s part of my job, so yes. Despite a certain someone repeatedly stealing my tap shoes and peeing on my ballet slippers.”

“Oh, ha. Right. I’d forgotten about that.”

“How nice for you.”

“You know, I saw you dancin’ last night.”

She blinked at him in confusion, “I didn’t dance last night.” She never danced outside the practice room. Ever.

“Sure you did. Danced right down the hallway. I watched you. You’ve really got some moves, huh?”

“I was  _ not _ dancing down the hallway.”

“Yeah, you were. Singin’ the whole way.”

“I was definitely not  _ singing _ in --”

“Looked just like Debbie Reynolds in  _ Singin’ in the Rain.” _

Elizabeth scoffed, “She was almost a whole foot shorter than I am so I highly doubt that.”

“Nah, I mean like, it was hard to take my eyes off ya.”

“Didn’t you come to yell at me?”

He shrugged, “Yeah.”

“So you were checking me out while on your way to yell at me? How's that track?”

“I can multitask when I gotta.”

“Your mother must be very proud.”

“Come on. Just one movie.”

“Aren’t you dating Susie?”

“Yeah, but we ain’t pinned or nothin’. She don’t care if I see other girls.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that.”

“Well… maybe she cares a  _ little.” _ His mischievous grin probably would have been very cute on literally anyone else. “But that just makes it more fun, right?”

“No.”

“Man, you always were stubborn.”

“And you always were dense.” She turned back to her batting practice. “Go away, Butch.”

“Nah. I ain’t leavin’ until you say yes.”

“Well, then you’re going to be there a while.”

“That’s fine. I got a primo view from where I’m at. I’m good.”

Swing and a miss. Again. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m still checkin’ you out.”

“You’re going to ruin my entire Saturday, aren’t you?”

“I’m tryin’ to make this the greatest Saturday of your life, if you’d let me.”

“Oh, a date with you is supposed to change my life? Is that it?”

“Yeah.”

She scoffed, “I’m so sure.”

“I don’t got nothin’ to do tomorrow, neither, so… I’mma be on that ass like fleas on a dog all weekend.”

“Unless I say yes?”

“Yup.”

“That’s extortion. Or coercion. Something.”

“So arrest me then.”

One movie. Two hours of her life. If she acted like herself and not like the character she’d created, surely to God he’d get bored with her by the half hour mark, right? Run away screaming into the night like most boys did once they realized she wasn’t really into all that mushy crap. That kind of seemed like a small price to pay for peace.

“Fine.”

“Fine what?”

“I’ll go to a movie with you.”

“Yeah? You promise?”

“Sure. Whatever it takes to get you out of my space.”

“Eight o’clock sharp. Meet me at the theater.”

“M’hmm.”

“Don’t be late.”

“Alrighty.”

“And wear your hair down.”

She scowled and glared at him, “Why?”

“Cause I like it down. It was pretty last night.” He flashed her another grin and strutted out the door.

“Bossy jerk.”

Prudence said not showing up was probably the way to go. Unfortunately for her, she’d been raised by someone who considered promises to be kind of a big deal, so she was honor bound here. No way out. Elizabeth made sure to show up five minutes early, even, just so he wouldn’t have anything to complain about.

She was kind of surprised he was already there though. The cloud of aftershave hit her about five feet out and nearly made her eyes water. Did he bathe in the stuff? Jesus.

His eyes practically sparkled, “Hey, hey. There she is!”

“Hi.”

“I really wasn’t sure you’d show up.”

“Yeah, me, either.”

“You wore your hair down.”

“Yeah, well… some beautician said it looked nice this way.”

_ “Barber.” _

She folded her arms. “So, we should get tickets, right?”

“Nah, I already got ‘em. This is a date, dummy. You don’t pay for nothin’.”

“Oh, right. I’m just expected to put out, is that it?”

“Heh. Well, if the mood strikes you, then yeah, go for it.”

People were exiting whatever had been showing prior and she felt her face go pink. It felt like more than a few pairs of eyes were on them. By tomorrow, she’d have a whole new reputation no doubt. This had been a terrible idea.

“Hey. Whatsa matter?” Butch tipped her chin up and frowned at the nervousness he found there. “Aw, come on. You know I was just jokin’, right? I ain’t expectin’ you to let me hit it just for a bucket of popcorn.”

She jerked her face away and resumed her careful contemplation of the floor. “That’s not… people are  _ looking _ at us.”

“Oh.” He looked around but didn’t really notice anyone staring. “So?”

“So I don’t like it.”

“I thought you were a performer, right? You do all that music and stuff. What kinda performer don’t want people lookin’ at them?”

Goddammit. Him, too? It was bad enough she got lectured by her dad and Mr. Holden constantly for this crap. Her lack of enthusiasm for the spotlight had been a point of contention in her household since she’d chosen to go into the creative arts instead of science. She didn’t need it from Captain Couch Potato, too.

Okay, so maybe it was more a phobia, but still. People needed to lay off already.

“Are we watching a movie or what?”

“Yeah, sure. Just gotta get some refreshments.”

“Okay, great.”

She stomped ahead of him into the theater and ignored the puzzled frown on his face. He didn’t get it. People just didn’t get it. Standing on a stage, trapped in the footlights while judgmental eyes glittered at you from the audience? It was terrifying. The last time she’d made an attempt, she’d broken out into a rash that stuck around for a week and hyperventilated her way into dry heaving backstage.

Life in the spotlight wasn’t worth all that. She was perfectly happy being an orchestral pit, assistant director, behind the scenes kinda person. Her music and dancing was just something she did because it was a part of her. She didn’t require applause to fuel her passions or express herself. Unlike some people, she didn’t crave attention twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

She was in such a huff about it all that she sat down next to Butch and realized that not only had she not noticed him choosing seats on the backrow, but that she didn’t even know what movie they were watching.

He stretched out in his seat and shoved some popcorn into his mouth. “You seen this yet?”

Elizabeth frowned, “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” He quickly swallowed and followed it with a mouthful of Nuka. “Kinda forgot who I was with for a second there.”

Shocked. Truly. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged, “You’re kinda… a little more high maintenance than the chicks I usually bring here.”

“High maintenance?”

“Yeah. You’ve got standards and whatnot.”

“In other words, I’m a snob.”

“Kinda. Yeah.”

“Then why did you invite me?”

“I dunno. Wanted to see how the other side lives, I guess.”

She sighed, “Okay.”

He cracked open her bottle and set it in the armrest. “I bet you’ve seen all the movies in the vault already, right? You’re big into that shit.”

“I’ve seen most.”

“What about this one?”

“I dunno. What are we watching?”

_ “The Thing.” _

Her nose wrinkled in distaste before she could help it. “I don’t usually watch horror films.”

“Too scary?”

“No, they’re too predictable.”

“Hmm. Well… if you do get scared, I’ll hold your hand.”

She rolled her eyes, “My hero.”

“Heh.”

The lights dimmed as the previews began. “Can I ask you something?”

He whispered back, “What?”

“Why did you decide to audition for  _ Bye Bye Birdie?” _

“Would you believe it was for a girl?”

“Yes.” Of course she would. She was pretty sure Butch didn’t do anything that wasn’t designed to help him score.

“Well, it was for a girl.”

Elizabeth’s eyes drifted back to the screen. Susie Mack was a goddamn plague on humanity. Just had to drag her stupid boyfriend and his buddies everywhere she went. 

“See, I’ve been tryin’ to get this chick’s attention for  _ years _ and nothin’s ever worked. So I thought, try a new approach. Maybe get her to see me in a different light, y’know?”

“So it’s not for Susie?”

“Nah. Are you kiddin’? I don’t have to do nothin’ to impress her. I just gotta show up.”

“Oh.” Janice maybe? Or Christine. She thought it over for a moment and nodded. Definitely Janice. Christine was nice but easy. Janice, on the other hand, at least followed the three date rule. That must feel like forever to a guy like him. “Well, the gold lamé costume should help. It definitely draws the eye.”

He snorted quietly, “Yeah. I feel a little silly wearin’ it.”

“You look a little silly, too.”

“Hey, do you think sometime you could show me the right way to hold a guitar? I know mine’s just a prop and all, but I don’t wanna make a bigger fool outta myself than I gotta, y’know?”

“Sure.” Holy crap, was he actually taking this seriously? He must really have it bad for this girl. She almost pitied whoever the unlucky lady was. “If you want, you can come watch me practice the parts where Conrad’s supposed to be playing and try to copy it. Although, I mean, the subtext there is he really isn’t a musician to begin with. It’s all an act. So, the more you seem like you don’t know what you’re doing, the closer you are to nailing the character.”

“Oh. Right.”

“But I don’t mind showing you if you want. I do lessons, too, if you ever actually want to learn how to play. It’s twenty credits per hour.”

“Huh. I didn’t know that.”

She shrugged, “Well, I do.”

“Just guitar?”

“No, pretty much every instrument we’ve got. Except the oboe.” She made a face, “I hate the oboe.”

“The fuck’s an oboe?”

“A woodwind possessed by an evil duck.”

“Ha.”

Okay, maybe he was a little cute when he smiled. A real smile, anyway. Not that ridiculous smirk he’d clearly spent too many hours working on. “You know how you tune two oboes?”

“How?”

“You shoot them both.”

He snickered, “I can’t believe you’ve even got nerd jokes. Jesus.”

“Rude. Now I’m not going to tell you my favorite one.”

“Aw.” He pouted, “Please?”

“Uh…” Had he always been this attractive and she was just now noticing it? She’d known he was handsome and all, but this was definitely Golden Age of Hollywood handsome. Maybe it was just the lighting. “Okay. Two girls are talking in band class. One girl says, ‘I think I’m going to break up with Johnny. When he kisses me, his mouth never opens.’ And the other girl says, ‘Sure, that’s a trumpet player for you.’ So the next week, the girl says ‘I can’t go out with Brad anymore. He slobbers all over me.’ and her friend says ‘Well, what did you expect? He plays the tuba.’” She paused while he snickered, “So the next week, the girls are talking and the friend says ‘How are things with Ralph? It’s gotta be rough dating a French horn player. I bet he kisses just like Johnny.’ and the girl says ‘Oh, I don’t care how he kisses, I just love what he does with his hands.’”

“And then what?”

“That’s it. That’s the joke.”

“I don’t get it.”

She sighed, “A French horn player holds his instrument with one hand on the keys and the other hand shoved up the bell.”

“Oh. Ooooh. Ha. That’s funny.”

“M’hmm.”

“She likes him 'cause he’s handsy.”

“Right.”

“Heh.”

"I don't think it's as funny now. I had to explain it. Jokes you have to explain are never funny."

"Nah, it's funny. I just didn't know what the hell a French horn was."

"Hmm."

"I got jokes, too."

"I bet you do."

"Check it out. Why does a mermaid wear seashells?"

"Uh… I don't know. Why?"

"'Cause she grew outta her B-shells!"

She didn't want to, but somehow laughter tumbled out of her. "That is the  _ worst _ joke I have ever heard."

"Yeah, but you're laughin'." He grinned. "I like it when you laugh."

She finally realized there was maybe four inches of space between them and scooted away a bit. Had they always been this close? Why was he so close? Why was _ she _ so close?! When had all this leaning together started?

"Oh. Thanks."

"You're really pretty when you smile, y'know? Lights up your whole face."

"Uh…" She honestly had no idea how to respond to that. Butch being charming and complimentary towards her was a whole new experience.

He finally broke eye contact and motioned towards the screen. "Movie's startin'."

"Right. Yup."

Ah, right. The movie. Butch had already claimed the arm rest, of course, so she shifted over to the other side of her seat. He waved their popcorn at her and she shook her head. It wasn't that she didn't want any, but she'd seen too many rom-coms to fall for the old 'oh, our hands accidentally brushed' gag.

Her soda would suffice. Two hours without food wouldn't kill her. Probably.

He whispered, "You want some candy or somethin'?"

She shrugged, "Not really."

"I can go get you some."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"I'mma grab you some Milk Duds. You like those right?"

"Yes, but --"

"I'll be right back."

She watched him leave and shook her head. Weirdo. Who leaves right at the beginning of the movie? That's when they set up the premise and everything.

Then again, now was her chance to eat her share of the popcorn.

By the time he got back, Ned Scotty and his air force buddies had already arrived at the North Pole. She could smell him coming the second he stepped into the dark room and very nearly sneezed. Had he actually reapplied?! Maybe he just couldn't smell it anymore and was erring on the side of caution?

He flopped down and passed her a box. "Here."

"Thanks. You missed a lot."

"It's alright. I've seen this one a few times."

"What took you so long?”

“Pep talk in the mirror ran a little long was all.”

“What?”

Butch smiled at her, cheeky and charming. "Did ya miss me?"

"Not really."

His face fell and he sighed, "Course not."

He actually sounded kind of sad about it. Jeez. "I was just into the movie is all so I didn't realize..."

"Oh. Alright." He picked up the popcorn and frowned down at it. "Did you eat all the fuckin' popcorn?"

Elizabeth had just popped a Milk Dud in so she covered her mouth with a hand to talk. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh. Sure you don't. Snack thief."

She snickered and went back to watching the movie. It actually wasn't terrible. More psychological thriller than typical jump-scare stuff. She wasn't into movies that relied on cheap tactics like that. It was just lazy. This movie was pretty solid though. She actually felt something when they found the third sled dog.

"Oh, no. That poor little puppy."

"Yeah, it's a bummer."

There was a hand on her shoulder and she finally realized he had an arm around her. Talk about a smooth operator. How long had that been there anyway?

Elizabeth cleared her throat and gave him a wry look when he finally glanced over. “Are you trying to make some kind of move here, DeLoria?”

“What? Nah.” He tugged her a little closer, “This is just whatcha do on a date.”

“I’m not playing backseat bingo with you.”

“Course not. Not on a first date.”

“Calling it a first date implies there will be more than one.”

“So?”

“Little optimistic, don’t you think?”

He opened his mouth to no doubt hit her with some corny line, but paused and squinted at her instead. “Hey.”

“What?”

“What color are your eyes anyway?”

Okay, so he was just going to skip the subject altogether. Alrighty then. “Blue.”

“They always look so dark though.”

“They’re  _ dark _ blue.”

“Smartass.” Despite the annoyed tone in his voice, he pulled her even closer. “I was gonna say they’re really pretty, but you’re bein’ a jerk, so I won’t.”

“Is this what passes for romance with you? Backhanded compliments and the occasional outright insult?”

“Hey, you want romance, girlie, all you had to do was ask.”

“Pass.”

They watched the rest of the movie in silence. Or mostly in silence. Occasionally he’d mumble something but she couldn’t really hear what he was saying. It wasn’t until the very end that she realized he was actually reciting the movie.

As Scotty made his broadcast, Butch mouthed the words along with him.  _ “Tell the world. Tell this to everybody, wherever they are. Watch the skies everywhere. Keep looking. Keep watching the skies.” _

He seemed uncharacteristically flustered when the house lights came up and he realized she was openly staring at him. “What?”

“Just how many times have you seen this movie?”

“I dunno. Dozen, maybe.”

“You really like aliens, huh?”

“It’s more I just really like movies.”

“Oh.” They filed out and she tossed her empty candy box in a trash can at the door. “Well… thanks for the date, I guess.”

“What?”

“I’ll see you.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” He followed her out and grabbed her hand. “I gotta walk you home now.”

She tugged it free and kept walking, “Why?”

“Cause _ that’s _ the end of the date! The boy walks the girl home!”   


“Okay, fine. You don’t need to hold my hand though.”

“Sure.” He stuffed his own in his pockets and ambled alongside her. “Kinda wanted to, but alright.”

He was being so weird tonight. She must have walloped his brains a little harder than she thought with that bit. If he was still hoping she’d turn into a siren when the clock struck twelve or something, he was going to be disappointed. He was even weirder now that the movie had ended. Quiet, for once. He’d talked through most of the picture and then went silent as the grave on her the whole way home.

That probably made sense though. It’s not like he had anything big and shiny to talk about right in front of him. Her eyes slid over to surreptitiously watch him. What did go on in that vacuous head of his anyway? Was it just all crickets and bullfrogs once he was alone?

On the other hand, maybe he was waiting for her to say something? Something nice, right? He’d practically showered her with compliments compared to their usual interactions. She should think of something nice to say.

“Um… I like your jacket.”

He blinked like he’d been spacing out and she almost laughed. Looked like she'd nailed it. Theory for the quiet stillness inside his head confirmed.

“Oh, yeah?”

“M’hmm. The stitching is really well done. Did your mom do it?”

“Psh. Nah. I did it. I did all three jackets.”

“You sew?”

“When I gotta, yeah.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that.”

“Well… we really dunno a lot about each other, right? I realized that last night.”

She rolled her eyes. He still wasn’t getting it. “I was just messing with you.”

“I know.” He dazzled her with a confident smile at her incredulous look. “If I’d thought for even a split second that you were serious, I’d have made a move.”

“M’hmm. It sure seemed like you thought I was serious.”

“Nah. I still remember watching you play princess and whatever on the playground. I can tell when you’re acting.”

“For somebody who just said they don’t know me, you sure like to talk like you do.”

“Hmm. Well, maybe what I really meant was, I’d like to get to know you better.”

“Why?”

Butch chuckled, “God, it’s true what they say about pretty actresses, huh? You’re all dumb as a box of rocks.”

“Excuse me?!”

“I like you, idiot. Jeez. Just gotta make a guy put it all out there, dontcha?”

“You  _ like _ me?”

“Yeah.”

“You just mean you want to get into my vaultsuit, right?”

“No, I mean I like you.” He thoughtfully considered a moment and finally shrugged, “But yeah, I’d like to get into that vaultsuit, too. Not that there’s a lotta room, but the wigglin’ to try and get there would be pretty nice.”

“Do you listen to yourself talk at all or do words just fall out?”

“Six of one, half a dozen of the other.”

Elizabeth laughed and shook her head, “You don’t like me, Butch.”

“Sure I do.”

“No, you don’t. You’ve just spent a month spacing out while looking in my general direction. It’s probably just some weird kind of imprinting or whatever.”

“But --”

“And, in your own words, we don’t really know each other, so you can’t like me. Even if you do have some feelings, you just like the me that lives in your head.” She shrugged, “I’m not trying to be mean about it or anything. I just don’t think you’ve really examined whatever feelings you think you have.”

“Jesus, you talk like a shrink.”

“M’hmm, and how does that make you feel? Annoyed, right? See? You can’t like somebody who just annoys you.”

“You think you’ve got the whole damn world figured out, don’t you?”

“I have  _ you _ figured out.”

“Psh.”

They finally made it to her door and she’d never been so happy to be home in her life. “Okay. You did it. You got me here.”

“Your dad in?”

“No, he’s usually in the clinic until… wait, why do you want to know?”

He shrugged, “Thought maybe we could have a nightcap.”

She huffed and planted a hand on her hip. “Man. You must really think I’m some kind of dip, huh? I’m not falling for your bullshit, so you can stop now.”

“Damn. Ball buster.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Y’know, I used to hate how you’d always run your mouth, but now for some reason it’s kinda hot. You’re a little firecracker, huh?”

“Excuse me?”

He planted his arm above her head and crowded her against the wall. Their faces just a few inches apart as he smiled. “How tall are you, anyway?”

“Five-ten.”

“I’m six foot.”

“Well, that makes you taller, then, doesn’t it? Congratulations.”

“M’hmm.”

He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and she was mortified when heat rushed into her face. Maybe a few other places, too. Didn't mean anything. Absolutely not. He was practically a walking, talking pile of hormones, right? Most of her senses seemed to have temporarily left her, but she still had the wherewithal to say the most important bit.

“I’m not kissing you goodnight.”

“I know. First date and all.”

_“Only_ date.”

“We’ll see.” He leaned in to whisper in her ear and she couldn’t help the shiver that went through her. “Maybe we’ll meet each other in our dreams tonight, huh, sweetheart?”

She didn’t really have an answer for that. All she could do was stare at him wide-eyed as he backed away. That familiar tomcat smirk of his spread across his face as he traced over her with his eyes.

“Good night, Bets.”

That did it. Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at him, “Don’t call me that.” He didn’t even acknowledge her beyond a careless wave tossed over his shoulder.  _ “I mean it!” _ His laughter floated back to her and she huffed. “God, he is such a jerk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on posting this yet but I'm weak and the world needs more Butch DeLoria centric fic, dammit. So here we go.
> 
> Title comes from a quote by Lee Strasberg: “Acting isn’t something you do. Instead of doing it, it occurs. If you’re going to start with logic, you might as well give up. You can have conscious preparation, but you have unconscious results.”


	2. An ounce of behavior is worth a pound of words.

A week later at rehearsal, Freddie leaned over and murmured without moving his lips. “Am I crazy or is Butch totally making eyes at you?”

She refused to even look and kept her gaze locked firmly on her sheet music as if she didn’t already have it memorized. “You’re crazy.”

“I dunno. It’s been like ten minutes and I’m not even sure if he’s blinked.”

Elizabeth snorted and covered it with a quiet clearing of her throat. “Maybe he’s asleep with his eyes open.”

“Ha.”

Mr. Holden clapped a few times to get everyone’s attention. “Alright, now, I trust we’ve all gotten our new sheet music, yes? Miss Booth worked very hard on the new arrangement so let’s all give it our best, shall we? How about we start with  _ Put on a Happy Face. _ Where’s my Albert at… ah! Wally. There you are.”

Absolutely the worst casting in the history of theater. Albert Peterson had been played on the silver screen by the incomparable Dick Van Dyke for crying out loud. To have Wally Mack in the role almost made her sick to her stomach.

She was just hoping to make it to Opening Night at this point. Between single-handedly painting all the sets, rewriting the entire musical score every time Susie discovered a new way to slaughter a note, and supervising everything else, she was exhausted. Mr. Holden had already started pitching  _ White Christmas _ for the Winter Musical to the Overseer and it honestly made her want to cry. That show relied on real talent to sell it or it was just corny as all get out. Nobody in this vault had the chops of Rosemary Clooney, herself included, and definitely nobody could dance like Vera-Ellen. And finding a Bing Crosby or a Danny Kaye among the boys who generally showed up for auditions would be akin to witnessing the second coming of Christ.

Two hours later, after yet another headache had taken up residence in her brain, they were finally set free. Hallelujah. Elizabeth stood and stretched before putting up her guitar, wincing as her back popped.

“You alright?”

“I haven’t really had time to practice my dancing lately. Everything feels stiff.”

“Maybe you should do that this weekend.”

She glanced down at his too helpful to be real smile. “So Amata won’t be distracted by something as silly as hanging out with me, loverboy?”

It was kinda cute how pink his cheeks could get. “Maybe. I dunno.”

“Ya-huh.” The second those two had managed to circumvent her dad’s iron authority and go all the way, it’s all they ever wanted to do. They were like rabbits or something. “Well, maybe I’ll do just that.”

“Thanks, El. You’re a real pal.”

“Yeah, I know. Just let her come up for air every once in a while, alright? A girl needs her best friend around sometimes.”

“Right, right. I hear you. G'night.”

“Night, Freddie.”

At least this time she had plenty of time to get to the cafeteria. Of course, being prime dinner hours meant it was a little crowded, but she still managed to find a booth near the back that was open. Andy set down a chocolate shake, double order of fries, the largest cheeseburger he was legally allowed to make, and three whole bottles of ketchup in front of her about five minutes after her butt hit the seat.

It was nice to be known in some circles, she guessed.

She’d just taken that first perfect, delicious bite when a familiar chuckle had her jumping.

“How come every time I see you outside the arts wing, you’re eatin’ somethin’? Or about to eat somethin’? Or just got finished eatin’ somethin’?”

Elizabeth scowled at Butch and wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand, “Unlike  _ some _ people, I don’t really get a lot of breaks during the day. I gotta eat whenever I can or I’ll starve.”

“Huh.” He flopped down opposite her and immediately stole a fry.

“Hey!”

“Is for horses.” He popped it into his mouth and shrugged, “Anyway, you oughta be thanking me. You’ve gotta have five pounds of spuds here. You’re gonna get fat.”

“Maybe I want to. Maybe I'm planning on eating so many fries I become pure potato. You dunno.”

Andy set almost an identical order in front of her unwanted dinner guest and floated off before she could protest.

“Who said you could sit here?”

“Nobody. It’s a free vault though, ain’t it?”

She scoffed, “No. Where have  _ you _ been living?” Burger needed more ketchup. They always needed more. She squirted out a huge mountain of it onto the middle of her plate and dipped the sucker right in.

“Jesus. You got a thing for tomatoes, huh?”

“It’s good this way.”

“Really?” He dunked his own and thoughtfully took a bite, nodding after. “‘S pretty good.”

Oh, gross. She swallowed hers down and glared at him, “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Right, right. So…”

“Buttons.”

“Ha. So whatcha doin’ tomorrow?”

Elizabeth watched in horror as he dipped a fry into his shake and ate it. Disgusting. “I’m busy.”

“Doin’ what?”

“Dancing.” Although, honestly, probably not. She was too tired for dancing most days. Probably just test out those acoustics in the auditorium like she’d been meaning to.

“I like dancin’.”

“Good for you.”

“I like all  _ kinds _ of dancin’.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

“I’m sure you do.”

“So I’ve been meanin’ to ask, what’s the deal with you and old Flat-Foot Freddie?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean is he bird doggin’ or what?”

“What?”

He sighed in exasperation, “Are you guys bumpin’ uglies on the side?”

_ “Ew! No! _ He’s dating my best friend!”

“That’s why I said  _ on the side.” _

“Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, I certainly wouldn’t do that to Amata. Get your mind out of the gutter, DeLoria.”

“Alright, alright. Cool your jets. I was just askin’.”

“Well, it was an insulting thing to be asked.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I really am. I ain’t exactly used to girls like you, alright?”

“Girls like me?”

“Yeah, you know… classy girls.”

“Classy? Last week I was a snob.”

“Yeah, well, I upgraded you to classy.” He shrugged, “You ain’t really a snob ‘cause you don’t strut around thinkin’ you’re better than everybody else. You just  _ are  _ better than everybody else and that ain’t your fault.”

Was there a compliment in there somewhere? It was hard to say. “Thanks?”

“You’re welcome… so what’re your plans for tonight?”

She sighed. He was like a dog with a bone. “I’ll probably go home and stare at the music some more. Keep trying to figure out how to emote properly.”

He made a face, “Yeah, what the hell was Holden goin’ on about? You don’t  _ emote? _ The fuck is that?”

“He means I don’t show emotion through my music.”

“Who says?”

“He does, of course. I’m a decent technical player but I’ve always had issues emoting. I just don’t connect with audiences very well, I guess.”

“That sounds like a buncha bullshit.”

“Yes, well, most things involving the arts usually do.”

“I think you sound great.”

“Thanks.”

“You know, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m pretty sure that applies to chicks, too.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Wanna go see another movie?”

“No, thank you.”

“Batting cages?”

“Nope.”

He made a face at her,  _ “Stubborn.” _

“Yup.”

“What if I told you I found an artsy fartsy movie holo you ain’t never seen?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, “I’d call you a liar.”

“Ever heard of a picture called  _ Scarface?” _

She laughed, “Oh, come on.  _ Everyone _ has heard of  _ Scarface.” _

“From 1932?”

“That… wait, the  _ original?” _

“Yup.”

“That’s pre-Code. They sealed it in a vault!”

He grinned and pulled a holo out of his pocket, “Yeah. They did.”

“No, I mean, Howard Hughes put it in… wait, is that it?”

“Yup.”

She reached for it but he snatched it back. “Where’d you find it?!”

“There’s a big pile of shit in the basement. Crap that belonged to the original unfortunates who had to live here. It was hidden in a suitcase with a bunch of uh… let’s just say even less appropriate movies.”

Elizabeth blinked at him and his smug face and then stared at the holo in his fist. “Okay, DeLoria. I’ll play. What disgusting thing do I have to do to get it?”

His eyebrows shot up, “Wow. You really want it that bad?”

“It’s a  _ lost film.  _ I know you don’t understand how culturally significant that is, but --”

“Nah, nah. I get it. It’s a treasure, right? I found a pot o’ gold and you want in. I get it.” He stuck it back in his pocket and smirked. “I gotta say, Bets, I kinda like you all eager to please like this. Not many can wear desperation so well.”

She kind of wanted to throw her milkshake on him, but that wasn’t going to get that irreplaceable piece of history in her hands. “So? What do you want?”

“Hmm… what do I want?” He seemed to think it over and grinned at her, “A handy would be nice.”

Oh, God. He was really this depraved? Still, she’d watched _Gypsy._ _Breakfast at Tiffany's._ Even _Woman of Rome._ She could cobble together a worldly character capable of dealing with something like that. Sometimes dedication to the arts meant you had to suffer through a few indignities.

“Okay.”

His eyes went wide with shock, “What?”

“I said okay. When do you want it?”

_ “Shit, _ kitten. I was just  _ jokin’.  _ Goddamn.”

“Oh.”

“You were actually gonna do somethin’ like that just to watch some dumb movie?”

“It’s not just a dumb movie! It’s rediscovered art!”

“Wow. Okay… you uh… nobody else knows you’re this horny for new pictures, right? ‘Cause I gotta say, if somebody like Wally ever figured that out, he’d be scourin’ the whole damn place for holos. And he’d have you doin’ a lot more than a handy, I can tell you that.”

“I’m not  _ horny _ for… ugh. You don’t get it. You’re never going to get it.”

“I mean, you kinda are. I suddenly feel like I’m holdin’ your virtue in my hands right now. That’s a lotta responsibility, y’know?”

“My virtue is none of your business.”

“Hmm. Agree to disagree.”

“If you think --”

“Here’s what I want. I wanna watch  _ Scarface _ with you, as a date.”

“Okay…”

“And at the end of said date, I get a kiss.”

“From me?”

“Right.”

“A date that ends in a kiss from me?”

“Correctomundo. I get a smooch, you get your holo, everybody wins.”

“Are you and Susie having some kind of fight that I don’t know about?”

“Nah, we don’t… look, there’s a lotta seedy shit that goes down in this vault that you, as a classy dame, don’t need to know about. All you really need to know is, my relationship with Susie isn’t exactly my choice, you dig?”

“She’s forcing you to --”

“Nah, it’s more like her incredibly terrifying gun wielding daddy is forcing shit.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Don’t most fathers, you know, try to keep their daughters away from you?”

He smirked and shrugged, “Yeah, but they dunno what the Macks know.”

“And what do the Macks know?”

“A lotta secrets.”

He said everything so matter-of-factly but she didn’t like the nervous set of his shoulders. He was genuinely afraid of these people. “Butch, if you’re in some kind of trouble, you should go to the Overseer.”

A soft smile crossed his face, “God, you’re cute.”

“What?”

“So. Date. Yes? We’re on?”

“Um… okay, fine. When?”

“What about right now?”

“I was going to --”

“Yeah, I know, you were gonna practice somethin', right?”

“Right.”

“Well, in that case, my offer is only good for the next hour, so take it or leave it.”

“Rude.”

“Ruthless. There’s a difference.”

“Alright. Fine. Jeez.” She huffed, “Do you have a holo player at your house?”

“Yeah, but we’re doin’ this at your place.”

“You’re just going to invite yourself right on over, huh?”

“Yup.”

She sighed, “Great.”

Twenty minutes later and they were once again walking back to her family’s quarters. She’d tried eating slow but all good things had to come to an end, right? Couldn’t be helped. As they turned the corner, Butch scampered over to the left side of her.

“What are you doing?”

“Just felt like walkin’ on this side.”

“Uh-huh.” Was she crazy or did he look nervous again? There was no way in hell it was her, so she tried to puzzle it out. An overhead security camera swiveled as they walked past it and it came to her. “You don’t want to be seen with me.”

“What?”

“You’re in a blind spot, aren’t you?”

“Ah, she caught me.”

“Who on earth do you even think is watching?”

“Bad guys.” He glared at the camera and shrugged, “Who knows, right?”

“People already saw us at the movies.”

“Yeah, but that was… different.”

“Why are you so twitchy?”

“I ain’t twitchy!”

“Alright.” He really was though. Constant surveillance was just a fact of life in the vault. She had no idea why he’d be so skittish about it. Elizabeth unlocked the door and he hurried past her to get inside. “Yeah, sure. Make yourself at home.”

“Wow.” He looked around their apartment. “This is nice.”

“Thanks.”

“Hell of a lot nicer than my place.”

She shrugged, “Perks of being the vault doctor, I guess.”

“Yeah, no shit.” He moved a little further in and started poking his head in rooms. “So your dad’s like, never home, right?”

“He sleeps here, but he usually doesn’t get home until after I go to bed and then I’m gone before he wakes up, so… we miss each other a lot. Sometimes I go have lunch with him though.”

“Oh, that’s sweet. Yeah. So you’re just livin’ it up in here all alone, huh?”

She folded her arms and rolled her eyes, “I am not giving you permission to throw some stupid rager here.”

“Nah, I wasn’t…” He finally turned back to her and grinned, “What I was really gettin’ at is, we won’t be interrupted, right? I highly doubt the doc would be thrilled at comin’ home to find us snuggled up on the couch.”

“Why would we be snuggled up on the couch?”

“Cause it’s a date, dummy!”

“There’s no TV in the living room.”

“What?” He looked past her and pouted, “Why not?”

“Dad doesn’t like TV.”

Butch snorted, “Kinda makes the two of you like  _ The Odd Couple, _ don't it?”

“I guess.”

“So where’s it at then?”

“In my room.”

“In… in  _ your _ room?”

“Yup.” She almost scoffed at his shocked face as she walked past him. “It’s this way.”

“You’re actually gonna let me in your room?”

“Unless you want to move the TV.” She stepped inside and waved him in before shutting the door.

His eyes were everywhere at once and he laughed, “Nah. Looks kinda heavy.”

“M’hmm. Holo please.”

“Sure.” He dug it out of his pocket and passed it to her. “You got a lotta posters.”

“Yup.”

He pointed at the far wall, "I like all your instruments on the wall. What is that? Cork?"

"It helps with moisture control."

“Oh. Huh. There’s some really cute shit here.” He turned the ballerina on her jewelry box and a few tinny notes rang out before moving on to casually peruse her bookcases. Smiling at all the pictures and ribbons on the top. “You always were an overachiever.”

Was he just going to put his hands on everything? _Rude._ “Yup.”

“It’s a lot… girlier than I thought it would be.”

“What?”

“Just… I dunno. You were always kind of a tomboy.”

“Hmm.”

He pointed at her bedspread, “That your favorite color?”

“M'hmm. I like green.”

“Me, too.”

“I’m pretty sure most humans do.”

“Huh. So uh… where you want me?”

“Right now? At your house.”

“Oh, ha ha ha. You’re _ so _ funny. I mean, where are we sittin’? We can’t both share your desk chair.”

“I thought the bed would work? That’s where I usually watch movies at.”

“Shit.” He laughed as she flipped off the overhead lights and the room went dark save the flickering screen. “Maybe it’s  _ my _ virtue I need to worry about here.”

Elizabeth kicked off her boots and settled onto the bed with a huff, “Do you want to watch it or not?”

“Yeah, no, I definitely… definitely wanna watch it. Yup.” He set his boots by hers and joined her, back against the wall.

She impatiently waited for him to get situated, “Ready?”

“Action!”

“Whatever.” She clicked the remote and set it on the nightstand before leaning against the wall with a sigh. “I hope this is good. I’m going to be very disappointed if it ends up being overhyped.”

“Hmm.”

They managed to get five whole minutes past the credits before his arm was around her. She decided to ignore it. Apparently this was just part of dating etiquette as far as he was concerned. Anyway, it’s not like it was terrible or anything. The vault was always chilly and Butch seemed to generate enough heat for a family of four to get through a winter at the Arctic Circle. He was actually kind of helpful if you thought about it, like a space heater.

“Hey.” He whispered right in her ear.

“What?”

“I noticed you’ve been wearin’ your hair down a lot more lately.”

“So?”

“So should I take that as a sign?”

“Yeah, a  _ stop _ sign. As in, stop thinking about my hair so damn much. It’s weird.”

“Alright, alright… so who’s that guy?”

“Paul Muni. He’s playing Tony.”

“Accent ain’t half bad.”

“He grew up in Chicago, I think.”

“Oh.”

Around the time Tony was doing his utmost to steal Johnny’s girlfriend, Poppy, Elizabeth realized they were a lot more relaxed than they’d started. She wasn’t sure how that had happened. Now she was practically cuddled up against him while he reclined against the pillows he must have snuck from the head of the bed. That meant she was going to have to deal with sleeping in a miasma of Old Spice after he’d left.

“Hey.”

Goddammit. Every fucking time. Something about him whispering in her ear made goosebumps break out all up and down her arms.

“What?”

“It’s pretty good, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s holding up so…” Was he sniffing her head? He was clearly sniffing her head. “...far. What are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“Did you just smell my head?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause you smell good.”

“I smell good.”

“Yeah.”

God, he was just so absurdly confident in his weirdness. She laughed a little, “Mmm. Jane smell good. Tarzan like.”

He chuckled, “Exactly. What do you wear anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t really use perfume. I guess you’re probably smelling Lustre-Creme and Ivory soap.”

“It’s nice.”

“Thanks.” She turned her attention back to the movie. Or tried to anyway. It was kind of hard with the way he just kept staring at her. She finally stared back. “What?”

“I think I wanna kiss you now.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be at the end of the date?”

He shrugged, “Maybe I want a preview.”

“I already told you once, I am not interested in --”

“Backseat bingo, right.”

“Right.”

“You know that actually means doin' it, right? It doesn’t mean making out.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So calm down already.”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down in my own house! You are just so --”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence. Didn’t even get to finish her  _ thought. _ Butch’s lips were moving against hers and she suddenly knew exactly what Jean Simmons was going on about when she sang  _ If I Were a Bell. _ She felt tingly all the way down to her toes and his chuckle at her involuntary shiver should have been incredibly aggravating but it  _ wasn’t.  _ Instead it was wonderful. It filled an empty space she didn’t even know she was carrying around in her soul. Somehow her hand was on his chest, right over his heart, and it seemed like it was beating at least as fast as hers, maybe even faster.

The moment his hand slid into her hair, she knew it was all over. She was a goner. This is exactly how he’d managed to bag and tag so many other girls before her. She didn’t even want to try to resist him. She was perfectly happy just rolling over right now and she would have been a little disappointed in herself for how easily she was willing to toss aside every principle she’d been raised with, but then he was coaxing her mouth open. His tongue sliding against hers in the most delicious way, tasting like her favorite strawberry shake.

All she could possibly hope to do in the face of all that was hang on for dear life. Some kind of soft whine was caught in her throat and she hadn't even known she could make a noise like that. He shifted carefully and they were moving, but she had no idea where until her back was pressed against the mattress. Her head rested against his arm and she was somehow completely surrounded by him as he leaned over her, and that was okay.  _ More _ than okay, actually. That was _ great _ and she definitely wanted more of it.

She tugged him closer by the jacket and wiggled happily at the way he pressed against her. One leg settling between her own like it was meant to be there. He groaned and his hand left her hair to skirt down her shoulder but seemed to hover uncertainly for a moment. Ultimately tracing down her side and settling on her hip.

When he finally let her go, she saw her own astonishment mirrored in his pretty eyes.

“Damn, I was right…  _ firecracker.” _

Elizabeth’s brow furrowed a bit as she tried hard to make thoughts form an orderly, single file line in her brain but it just wasn’t happening. Not with the way he looked hovering over her. He unconsciously licked his lips and she couldn’t stop staring at them.

“You, um…” Why did she sound so breathless? Was she really this winded after one silly kiss? That was kind of embarrassing. At least he wouldn’t be able to tell how much she was blushing in the near darkness, right? Sure. “You didn’t have to stop.”

There was a dangerously heated look in his eyes that she was a little in love with. She wasn’t going to admit that out loud or anything, but she could see herself writing it in her diary. Or maybe confessing to it on her deathbed. He looked like he was just barely holding himself back and as nice and gentlemanly as that probably was, she really wished he wouldn’t.

He finally blinked and looked away. A worrisome mixture of disappointment and frustration crossed his face and he shook his head. The smile he gave her was almost heartbreakingly sad and she surprised herself with the tears that welled up in response.

“No, I… I should go.”

“O-oh.” It kind of felt like her heart had just fallen into her stomach, but that was dumb, right? Isn’t this what she’d wanted all along? Him giving up chasing after her. Well…  _ que sera, sera. _ He’d gotten further than any other boy ever had before losing interest. That was something anyway. “Okay.”

“It ain’t you, alright?”

“Sure.” Fuck, she probably looked upset right now. Elizabeth blinked back her tears and smiled carelessly like they were never there in the first place. “It’s cool.”

He immediately frowned, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act.”

She mirrored his expression, “What exactly do you want from me here? If this is some kind of game, I don’t know how to play it and I don’t want to.”

“I just want…it doesn’t matter what I want. I need to go.”

Utter humiliation finally drowned out the last bits of euphoria still in her system and she angrily pushed him away. “Then  _ go _ already.”

He stood and awkwardly ran a hand through his hair, “Bets, listen, it’s --”

_ “Stop calling me that!” _ She sat up and chucked a pillow as hard as she could at his head. The way he easily blocked it just made her that much more pissed off. “Just get out and leave me alone!”

“I’m sorry!”

_ “Get out!” _ His boots made for much better missiles and she actually managed to bean him right on the head with one. “Get out! Get out! Get out!”

She watched him scurry away without another word and thought it a very fitting exit for a rat like him. That  _ asshole. _ There were still three more rehearsals looming ahead of them, too, and she was going to have to sit there while he stared at her and somehow pretend like none of this had ever happened. She had no idea what the hell had gotten into him,  _ or _ her, but now that it was out, she was more sure than she’d ever been that Butch DeLoria was the absolute worst person on the planet.

A cold shower and a different blanket on the bed and she felt a little better, at least. Especially in her extremely unsexy almost floor length plain cotton nightgown. Sometimes a girl just wanted to feel like a shapeless lump, or possibly like a tragic Byronic heroine out on the moors, and this was definitely one of those times. She was still positively mortified that she’d let that wannabe Casanova ruffle her feathers like he had. It was all so stupid. Of course he’d tried to put the moves on her. She’d actually been naïve enough to let a man like that into her home. Worse, her  _ bedroom. _ Jesus. What had she been thinking?!

She hadn’t been thinking, was the thing. She’d been entirely too focused on getting that holo and then later he’d just overpowered whatever paltry amount of reasoning she possessed until she’d been completely defenseless. Elizabeth laid in bed and scowled at the ceiling. Her fingers anxiously tapping against her PipBoy. She wanted -- no, scratch that. She  _ needed _ to talk to Amata. Post haste. But she couldn’t just call because chances were very good that she might be off somewhere with Freddie and she didn’t want to get her busted. Especially if she were supposed to be the alibi here, which she usually was.

Still, an encoded message through their PipBoys wouldn’t hurt, right? All the kids knew about the stupid server that was supposed to catalog and sift through any messages sent within the vault. Supposedly looking for unpatriotic or seditious rumblings. Luckily, Stanley, the vault’s head of maintenance and keeper of all PipBoys, would secretly install a program designed to scramble the messages if you just asked. He never  _ offered, _ of course, but if you asked him to ‘fix the person-to-person’, he’d help you out.

At least some adults in this place understood the need for occasional privacy.

Elizabeth rolled over and started typing.

_ Starshine: Crisis. 1st kiss. FREAKING OUT. Guy bolted. Help!!! _

Barely even a minute went by before words were scrolling across the screen.  _ Sunshine: What?!? W/W/W/H? _

She scoffed. “Oh, like I’m ever going to admit who it was. Come on.”

_ Starshine: Rather not say/ IDK/ 30min ago/ IDEK _

The next message took a bit longer to come through.  _ Sunshine: F thinks it’s BDeL. Please DENY. _

“Shit.” Her head dropped and she rested her forehead against her screen. “Shit, shit, shit.” It was one thing to skirt around the truth with your BFF. It was a whole other to just lie right to their… inbox. She sighed and typed again,  _ Starshine: Plz. Rather not say. _

The reply was almost instantaneous,  _ Sunshine: OMFG IT WAS HIM!!! _

“Oh, God, shut up. This was a bad idea.” She could have just quietly lived with her secret shame the rest of her life. No one had to know. Even if he ran his mouth on her, one well-staged brutally cold denial and people would think he was a lunatic.

A new message buzzed through and she warily raised her head. Amata’s lectures could be just awful. She blinked at the unfamiliar username and read the words as they spilled across her screen.

“BRMC-TS: I’m sry. Had 2 go. Know u don’t understand, but I cdn’t stay.” She scowled, “What the hell? How did he get my tag?” Also what kind of a stupid name was _ BRMC-TS? _ Did he really think he was anywhere near as cool as Johnny Strabler? Ha! He wished!

_ Starshine: Not interested in your BS. _

There. Clear, concise, and as polite as she could manage under the circumstances.

She was still going to murder whoever had given her tag out though. Just absolutely annihilate them the first chance she got. Another buzz had her jumping a bit and she huffed irritably.

_ BRMC-TS: Staying = Bad Things. Plz believe me. _

_ Starshine: Save it. NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR BS. _

_ BRMC-TS: Will explain in person. Plz don’t be mad. _

_ Starshine: No. Leave me alone. _

_ Sunshine: Do you need assistance?? Can tell Dad ur having GT. “Stay over” l8r. _

Elizabeth snorted to herself. Girl troubles. The ultimate get out of jail free card for any daughter of a single dad. The day they unlocked that perk was truly a blessed one.

_ Starshine: No. Am OK. _

_ Sunshine: Rly? _

_ Starshine: Rly. ILU _

_ Sunshine: ILU2. Everything will be OK. _

She sighed and set her PipBoy aside before flopping over. Stupid bed still smelled like him. If Amata stepped one foot inside this room, she’d have all the confirmation she needed of this particular disaster. She’d have to leave the door open tomorrow so the place could air out properly.

The anger was already starting to fade and she clung tightly to its dying embers. After anger would come tears and crying over a guy like that would pretty much be hitting rock bottom for her. She couldn’t let that happen. So she did what she’d always done when she was alone and needed comfort.

She sang.

“This little penny is to wish on, and make your wishes come true. This little penny is to dream on, dream of all you can do. This little penny is a dancing penny, see how it glitters and it glows. Bright as a whistle, light as a thistle. Quick, quick as a wink up on its twinkling toes.”

Her voice was starting to waver just a bit so she stopped. It just sounded pathetic singing a Danny Kaye classic with goddamn tears in your voice. At least tomorrow was the weekend. She could easily avoid him all the way up to their next rehearsal, right? That was a whole week. By then she should have a handle on the coolly indifferent Grace Kelly thing she was hoping to put together. Master the art of the cut-direct and learn how to take a man out at the knees with just a look.

She could do that, right?

And maybe she was looking at all of this from the wrong angle. Mr. Holden had always said she had issues emoting and everyone knew the best emotions came from real life experiences. Tonight she’d experienced all sorts of things. Passion and betrayal. Elizabeth Taylor kinda stuff. That was… good, right? Didn’t most artists go through all sorts of personal troubles and dramas? That was just part of how good art got created.

So this was fine. This was great. No better teacher than real life. All the books said so. Things could always be worse. Somewhere out there was probably a girl who’s first kiss had been Wally or Stevie Mack, and that was just tragic. Yes, her first had been with a well-known lothario, but honestly this was a tale as old as time, wasn’t it? Carefully sheltered, well brought up girl gets briefly led astray by some wrong-side-of-the-tracks ne'er-do-well who thinks he’s the end all be all.

How many movies were based on that premise? Probably thousands. So this was no big deal. She’d had her little flirtation with romance and now she was free to carry on as she’d always done. A little wiser. A little more world-weary. A lot more mature. Absolutely.

This moment could be the catalyst for a whole new chapter of her life. Now that she understood what all the fuss around this stuff was, she had no further need for it. Just chalk it up to a lesson learned and then use it.

That was a thing, wasn’t it? Hadn’t someone famous said that at some point? She narrowed her eyes but it was escaping her. Probably just too late in the evening to be thinking of such philosophical things.

Her PipBoy buzzed again and she huffed as she reached for it. Did no one keep decent hours anymore? Everyone always just assumed artists were lazy and hedonistic. People probably thought she was up until dawn with some beatnik records and a bottle of Mateus. Ridiculous.

She stared at the screen for almost a full minute, but couldn’t make heads or tails of any of it.

_ BRMC-TS: U tasted like chocolate & heaven. Will make it right. Promise. XOXO _

Elizabeth eventually scoffed, set it back on her bedside table and rolled over, “Well. At least  _ somebody’s _ drunk and having a good time, I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BRMC = The Black Rebels Motorcycle Club from 'The Wild One' (1953). A Marlon Brando picture where the famous exchange "What're you rebelling against, Johnny?" "Whaddaya got?" comes from. (The TC at the end of his tag is for Tunnel Snakes, ofc.)
> 
> Title is a quote from the late, great Sanford Meisner.


	3. You can’t fake emotion.

Amata and Freddie were at her door before she’d even finished brushing her teeth the next morning. Which was saying something considering it was barely seven in the morning. Elizabeth sighed heavily and pressed the button to let them in.

“Hey.”

Her best friend’s face immediately fell. “Oh, not the sick day jammies.”

“Yeah.” She shuffled back over to the kitchen table and sat heavily.

Freddie held up a takeout box, “We brought doughnuts.”

“Thanks.”

She whispered, “Is your dad home?”

“Nope. I dunno where he is. He’s always busy lately.”

“Okay, good.” She sat next to her and took her hand, “You’re gonna get through this.”

Elizabeth stared at her intense look of empathy and concern and burst into laughter, “Jesus, you look so damn serious.”

“I  _ am _ serious! You are going to get through this.”

“It’s fine. I’m  _ fine. _ Really. I was… momentarily disturbed last night but I’ve come to terms with what happened and it’s fine.” She watched Freddie get cups and saucers together and chuckled. “Your man is very domestic, Tata. I can see why you keep him around.”

“Yeah, he’s alright.”

They looked at each other and she wrinkled her nose. Nobody was buying this act, were they? Shit. “He sent me messages after.”

“Oh, that jerk! What’d he say? Something suddenly came up and he had to run away like a big dumb baby?”   


“Pretty much, yeah.”

Freddie poured them all coffee and shook his head, “Guy’s a jerk.”

“The jerkiest.”

“Although…” He finally sat down and shrugged, “I’ve never heard of him actually trying to do damage control before. That’s different.”

“You don’t even know who he is.”

“Oh, come off it, El. We all know who it was. Butch has been all over you lately.”

“First the movie thing --”

“You heard about that?”

“-- and now this. He’s clearly escalating.”

“Maybe the guy actually likes her.”

Amata smiled, “You always were a hopeless romantic.”

“I’m just sayin’! He’s acting weird.”

“He’s always weird.”

“Weird for him, I mean.”

“So where’d it happen? He con you into another date or something?”

“It…” She sighed in anticipation of what she knew was coming. “It was in my room.”

_ “Oh, my God! Elizabeth Anne Booth! _ You did  _ not  _ let a man like  _ that _ into your _ room?!” _

The screeching. The terrible, awful screeching. Why did it always have to come to this?

“Yeah, no, I did.”

“Why?!”   


“He found a new holo and --”

“Oh! It’s the old carrot and stick! God, I  _ hate _ him!”

Freddie, as always, was a lot calmer than his counterpart and set his chin in his hand. “What was the holo?”

_ “Scarface.” _ “That’s not important!”

He ignored Amata’s fuming and nodded, “Cool. That’s a good movie.”

“Right? He found the  _ original! _ From  _ 1932!” _

“I thought that one was destroyed.”

“No, Howard Hughes --”

“Oh, my  _ God, _ will the two of you  _ focus?! _ Lizzie!”

“What?”

“What are your plans here?”

“Uh… I don’t know, honestly. Avoid him as much as possible?”

“Good. Good, that’s sensible.” She worried the inside of her cheek for a moment. “Look, it’s not just that he’s a creep, okay? Even though he totally is. He’s involved in some… messed up, dangerous kinda stuff. I mean, I don’t really know a lot about it, but he’s always getting pulled into Dad’s office by Officer Mack.”

Her eyebrow rose, “Which one?”

“Allen.”

Freddie visibly blanched, “Oh,  _ shit.” _

“Right?” Amata shook her head, “He’s bad news, Lizzie. You should… I dunno. Ice him out. If we lived topside, I’d honestly tell you to move away.”

“Ha ha.”

“I’m serious!”

“You’re always serious, Tata. That’s what makes you so funny.”

“Do you need us to chaperone you this weekend? We can stick close and keep him away.”

“No, I don’t think that’ll be necessary. The studio’s free all day, so I’m just going to hang out there and stretch or whatever. I might work on my music later. I dunno.” She shrugged, “Either way, I’ll be in places I can lock, so… it’ll be fine.”

“What about lunch though?”

“I can… eat with Dad? I’ve haven’t seen him in like, two weeks. It’s getting kind of ridiculous.”

“Hmm. He has been super busy lately.”

“Right? If it weren’t for the notes he leaves on the fridge, I’d never even know he’d been here most days.”

Freddie grinned, “Yeah, but all that neglect is what makes you such a great artist, right?”

“Oh, shut up.”

They stuck around until the doughnuts were all gone. So what if she’d eaten half the dozen? She was wallowing, right? That was totally fine. Anyway, it’s not like she had to stay in competition form or anything. A few extra pounds here or there didn’t matter so long as she stayed off the stage.

Her leotard and tights still fit, didn’t they? So who cared? It was fine. This was all fine. She got her hair up in the standard regulation bun, tied on her dance skirt for modesty’s sake and headed out. She had her vaultsuit, boots and PipBoy in her duffle, just in case. Plus provisions should Butch prove difficult to avoid. Water, candy bars and even a piece of fruit.

Just in case Dad caught her and started with the fussing. Again.

She liked how her slippers didn’t make any noise against the floor. Felt kinda like being a ghost, and that was the dream, wasn’t it? To exist without being seen. God, if only.

Elizabeth was almost to the arts wing when angry voices echoing down the corridor from up ahead had her stopping in her tracks. Her head tilted as she concentrated on identifying them. Butch and… Stevie Mack? Maybe?

“... fuck are you playing at, DeLoria?”

“I dunno what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Susie was expectin’ you last night and you were an hour and a half late.”

“Sorry. Must’ve lost track of the time.”

“Bullshit.” There was a large thump that had her jumping. “Look, asshole, I honestly don’t give a fuck who you’re screwin’ around with in your free time. But when she says 'jump', you damn well better say ‘how high', alright? Her happiness is very important to our dad. You get me?”   


“Yeah, I get you.”

“You keep fuckin’ up, keep forgettin’ who you belong to, and maybe we’re gonna start forgettin’ to be nice to your ma.”

“Come on, Stevie. Don’t bring her into this.”

_ “I  _ didn’t.  _ You _ did.”

“I more than made it up to her, alright? She’s got no cause for complaints.”

“Yeah, and then you drank yourself into a stupor right after. She notices shit like that. Makes her feel like maybe you don’t really wanna be with her.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

“Are you tryin’ to get smart with me now?”

“No.”

Another, worse thump and she involuntarily flinched.

“No,  _ what?” _   


“No, sir.”

“That’s better. You need to learn a thing or three about respect, DeLoria, before that attitude of yours bites you in the ass.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Go clean yourself up before somebody sees… and you damn well better be on time tonight.”

Heavy bootsteps were coming towards her and she panicked but there was nowhere to go. No door to rush into or a hall to dash down. She took a deep breath, kept her eyes on the floor and started walking like she totally hadn’t been standing there listening to one of the vault’s most highly decorated security officers beating a man senseless for the high crime of being late for a date with his sister.

Unfortunately, as she wasn’t looking where she was going, she crashed right into the asshole.

“Oof!” Elizabeth ricocheted backward and would have fallen flat on her butt had a large hand not grabbed her by the wrist. She stared up at Stevie’s charming smile and realized this must be what a fish felt like right before a shark ate them.

“Miss Booth.”

“Officer Mack! Oh, gosh, I’m… I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going and --”

“It’s alright.” He finally let her go and she was pretty sure she’d have a bruise later. “Are you okay?”

“Yes! Yes, sir, I’m… I’m great. Thank you. Thanks for asking.” Her duffle belatedly slipped off her shoulder and she about had a heart attack when he chuckled warmly and picked it up for her.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks. Again.” She took it and fidgeted. She couldn’t just walk away, right? He was still staring at her.

“Been a while since I’ve seen you.”

“Has it? Uh…”

“You turned eighteen this summer, right?”

Oh, God. Did he sound _ interested? _ Please no, please no, please no. Why did she only seem to attract jerks lately?

“Yeah, I did.”

“Hmm. Seems like just yesterday you were runnin’ around here in your little pigtails and pink tutu.”

“Aha. Yeah. Time flies, huh?”

“M’hmm. All grown up now though.”

“Yes… yes, sir. I am.” Ugh, this was so gross. It was like she could  _ feel _ his eyes oozing down her body. He was so much older than she was. Gross, gross, gross.

“This uh… outfit you’re sportin’ is somethin’ else. You sure it’s up to code?”

“It… yes. Yes, of course. It’s the regulation uniform dispensed for adult female dancers. I wear it to teach sometimes and --”

He laughed, “Relax, kiddo. I was just jokin’.”

“Oh. Oh, of course. Ha.”

Stevie leaned in a bit and honest to God winked at her. “I was tryin’ to pay you a compliment, sweetheart. Pretty girl like you should be used to those by now.”

Her stomach turned but she kept a flattered smile plastered on her face. “Oh… thank you, Officer.”

“You can call me Stevie when it’s just us. I won’t tell anybody.”

“Uh…”

“Susie said you really helped her with her singin’.”

“Oh! Oh, well, isn’t that just… so sweet of her to say! She a… a raw talent. Fresh. Very unique vocal abilities and so… it’s… nice. It’s so nice to - to work with someone who doesn’t have to be untaught anything, you know? Ha ha.”

“Whole family’s lookin’ forward to the show.”

“Oh, wonderful! Well, that’s just… that’s great!”

“Yeah… be better seein’ you up on that stage though.”

“Oh, I… I don’t really perform like that. I’m more a… I’m just not...”

“Nah, I know. You’re  _ modest. _ You know your place. I like that.”

Dear God in heaven, please let someone start a fire somewhere. Or maybe a water main could burst? Something? Anything? Hello?

“Uh… thank you.”

“You’re doin’ the music for the show though, right?”

“Right. Yes. I will be there in the pit.”

“Hmm. I heard people send flowers or whatever to the stars of the show.”

She nodded, “Yup. Yup, they do. That’s… that’s a very old tradition and --”

“What if somebody wanted to send one to you?”

“To me?”

“Yeah.”

“Um… that would, uh… musicians typically aren’t acknowledged like that.”

“Oh. Well, maybe we’ll start a few traditions of our own, hmm?”

“Uh…” He was staring right at her chest, wasn’t he? What a skeeze.

“Be seein’ you around, Elizabeth.”

Well, she’d never wanted to vomit at the sound of her own name before. Neat. “Okay! Sure. Bye then.” She kept waving cheerfully until he disappeared down the hall and only then allowed herself a full body shudder. “Oh, sick. Oh, I’m gonna be  _ sick.” _

She started walking again and once more was brought to an abrupt halt. This time by the sight of a bruised and battered Butch still sitting on the floor of a side hall. Staring at the ground while blood slowly dripped from a split lip.

“Are you okay?”

His head snapped up and he almost snarled at her, “Keep walkin’, Booth. Ain’t nothin’ to see here.”

“But --”

“I said  _ keep walkin’!” _

The venom in his voice made it sound like he was about a half second away from springing up to attack her and she took a few steps back. “Okay.”

She hurried down to the studio, locked the door behind her and pulled down the window shade before she even switched the lights on. Jesus fucking tap dancing Christ. What the hell was going on in this damn vault anyway?

Even an hour of stretching and warming up wasn’t enough to calm her down. She was in no mood to dance but an attempt should be made, shouldn’t it? It had been ages and it was a perishable skill. She flipped through the holos next to the player and finally settled on  _ Moonlight Sonata.  _ Slow, long, kinda creepy. Just seemed to fit. Lyrical since she wasn’t in the headspace for ballet and tap required more cheer than she was currently capable of.

She zoned out about a minute in, like she usually did. Something about Beethoven. He’d probably sound awesome on Goldie. Lots of big power chords and stuff. Blast the roof right off the place. Boom. That’d knock all those old farts right out of their rocking chairs.

A dull buzzing sound had her stumbling to a stop. Someone was trying to get in. She crept over to the window and peeked through.

Butch  _ freaking _ DeLoria. Of course.

He seemed to give up and finally stepped back. Her relieved sigh was a bit premature as his eyes immediately locked with hers and he came to the window. Elizabeth hopped back and ground her teeth when he knocked.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you. Let me in.”

Muffled but unmistakable. Well, too bad. He was wasting his time. She was just going to ignore him like he deserved. She stomped back over to the player and cranked it up until she couldn’t hear the tapping anymore. There. Done. He no longer existed.

Actually, she needed different music. She was too mad for Beethoven now. Maybe Mozart? Ech, too playful. She needed something deliberate and cranky. Grieg? Hmm.  _ In the Hall of the Mountain King _ was pretty…

Why did it feel like someone was staring at her?

Elizabeth turned around and dropped the box of holos, “How did you get in here?!”

Butch, standing decidedly  _ not  _ outside the room, cupped a hand to his ear, “What?”

“I said… ugh.” She switched the player off and tried again. “How did you get in here?”

“Broke in.”

“You… you can’t do that!”   


“Well, I just did.”

“No! You can’t do that! It’s not allowed!”

He chuckled and crouched to pick up her scattered holos, “Okay.”

She glowered down at him and folded her arms, “Go away.”

“I can’t.” He sighed and stood with her box. “We gotta talk first.”

“No, we don’t.”

He tried to hand it to her and sighed again when she refused to accept it, setting it on the table instead. “Look, I’m sure you’re pissed and confused and --”

“Oh, don't flatter yourself. I’m just annoyed.”

“I didn’t want to leave last night, but I had to.”

“Yes, I know. You had to go to Susie.”

“Right.”

“Your girlfriend.”

He wrinkled his nose but nodded, “Right.”

“So what the hell were you doing kissing on me when you were supposed to be on a date with her?!”

“I dunno, I just… I don’t think somebody like you can understand.”

“Enlighten me then.”

“I just… I wanted somethin’ honest, y’know? Somethin’ real. I wanted to know what it felt like. It was crazy and I was a real asshole draggin’ you into my mess. I’m sorry.”

“Butch, what is going on? Why was Stevie Mack shoving you around earlier?”

He shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. You should stay away from him though, if you can. He’s… not right in the head.”

“Yes, thank you. I had noticed.” She was still pretty irritated but she hated how pitiful he seemed right now. All dejected and whatever. That wasn’t the Butch she knew. “Your lip looks awful.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you at least try to clean it?”

He nodded, “I’m pretty used to scrapes like this.”

“Hmm… and what does Princess Susie say when she sees you covered in bruises?”

“I usually tell her I was scrappin’ over a card game or whatever.”

“Wow. Okay. Well… there’s a first aid kit in here. I’ll go grab it.”

“Nah, that’s --”

“Shut up. It's no trouble.” She poked her head into the changing room and took it off the wall. “We always keep an emergency stash of stims in here just in case. I’ll use some antiseptic and then we can get you fixed up, okay? Just sit on the table.”

He eased onto it and watched her get everything ready. “You’re gonna help me? Even after --”

“Yes. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Hmm.” He held very still while she dabbed at the cut. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Like, ever.”

“Ha.”

She shook her head at him, “I don’t understand you. Whatever they’re promising or… I dunno. Nothing’s worth this, is it?”

“Heh. You don’t even know the worst of it.”

“What’s the worst of it?”

“I gotta marry her someday. Whenever daddy dearest decides it’s time for grandkids, I guess.”

“What?!”

“Yup.”

_ “Why?!” _

“It’s complicated.” He shrugged, “The Macks aren’t just assholes. They’re  _ dangerous _ assholes.”

“Psh. They’re all just a bunch of bullies.”

“They’ve killed people, sweetheart.” His eyes met hers and he looked so earnest there was no room for doubt. “People who mattered a hell of a lot more than I do, and they got away with it.”

“What?”

“All the accidents that happen? The reactor goin’ haywire or an unfortunate malfunction in the air ducts or whatever. That’s them coverin’ their tracks.”

“Are you serious?”

He nodded, “Yeah.”

Elizabeth frowned and pressed the stim into his neck. “It’s your mom, isn’t it? They’re basically holding her hostage.”

“Yeah.”

“Jesus.” She ran her thumb over his lip after the edges knit themselves closed. “You’re back together, Humpty Dumpty. Some of the swelling went down, too.”

“Thanks.”

“M’hmm. Does this happen whenever you uh…  _ date _ a different girl?”

He shrugged, “Sometimes if I get caught… most times, yeah.”

“Then why on earth do you do it?”

“Maybe I ain’t so good at followin’ directions.”

“All those people saw us at the movies. Didn’t you worry about that at all?”

“Oh, well. To be honest, I told Susie I was gonna take you to the movies to butter you up and try to talk you into, y’know, givin’ her more parts once the musical’s done. She’s kinda been bit by the acting bug pretty hard. So that was fine. She was totally on board with that.”

“And last night?”

“Last night was…”, he shrugged again. “I dunno. You’re just really cute when you’re playin’ that guitar, y’know? After an hour of watchin' you I guess I just couldn’t help myself. I was originally gonna give you the holotape as a present but then I thought, hey. Bait.”

She laughed, “Well, at least you’re honest about it, I guess.”

He smiled at her. “You’re really cute all the time, actually. I like your bun thing.”

“I thought you didn’t like my hair up.”

“No, I just don’t like it in a ponytail. The bun’s nice.”

“It’s a ballet bun. It’s just to get it out of the way for dancing.”

“Hmm.” His smile grew until he laughed and shook his head.  _ “God.” _

“What?”

“I still wanna kiss you. I shouldn't, but I do. There’s just somethin’ about you. You’re _ good, _ y’know? Clean. I kinda thought maybe some of that goodness could rub off on me but I realized last night that all I was doin’ was gettin’ you dirty. I’m sorry. I had no right to go that far and --”

Elizabeth stepped between his legs and kissed him. A funny little surprised noise escaped his throat and she was kind of worried maybe she’d hurt him. His lip was healed, sure, but it was going to be bruised for a while. She gently sucked it between her own and ran her tongue over it as an apology of sorts.

A whole different noise rumbled out of him and this one had her tingling right down to her damn toes all over again. His hands found her hips and pulled her closer. She was really trying hard to be as careful as she possibly could here but then his tongue was in her mouth and all she could think about was getting as close to him as physically possible. She was so glad she wasn’t in her stupid vaultsuit right now. His hands felt so deliciously warm and heavy on her and she was very into the idea of them being in other places. Was there a way to tell a guy that without sounding fast? Probably not.

She reluctantly let him go and stared into his eyes. The shock there was pretty gratifying but it was that heat, the same heat from last night, that had her smiling at him.

“So, how’s the lip? Did I do a good job fixing it? It works okay and everything?”

Butch took in the comically innocent way she was batting her eyes at him and chuckled. “You are my new favorite nurse of all time, just so we’re clear.”

“Well, I didn’t have a lollipop, so…”

“Right, right. You gotta do what you gotta do.”

“Exactly. Service is everything in this business.”

He snorted, “Yeah.”

“Hey… can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Do you know all the blind spots in the surveillance system?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Well… uh… okay, I’m just going to put this out there and if it’s completely bonkers then just let me know and I’ll go die of shame somewhere.”

“Oookay.”

“The thing is, I don’t really care about going on dates. And I'm not really into being seen in places. I mean, if I could be invisible, I would. I really would. Um… so, I know this is probably a longshot but… do you wanna maybe go out with me?”

“Uh --”

“In secret, I mean?”

“You’d be alright with that?”

“If it means more kissing, then yes.”

He laughed, “I'm not sure you realize… I mean, technically that’d make you my side piece. That doesn’t bother you?”

“Well… it’d be a secret, right? If nobody ever knows, does it really count?”

“Wow. You are a devious little thing, you know that?”

“Yup.”

“I’d love to go out with you.”

“Good.”

“I got a confession to make first though. It's been eatin' at me a long time."

“Okay. What?”

“Do you remember Valentine’s Day a few years back when you got a singing telegram from Andy and a box of chocolates and all that?”

She rolled her eyes, “Right, my so-called  _ secret admirer. _ Dad hadn’t pulled a stunt like that in --”

“That was me.”

“What?”

“I wanted you to be my valentine, so I put the order in. I knew I couldn’t actually tell you, but seein’ you get all blushy and cute in class was worth it.”

“That was almost three years ago.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I told you, I’ve been tryin’ to get this girl’s attention for years.”

“I’m the girl?”

“You’ve kinda always been the girl.”

"Holy crap. It's been my fault all along. I did it to myself."

"What?"

"Nothing. So… any ideas on how this is going to work, exactly?"

"How about whenever I'm not on the job, I'm all yours. Does that sound good?"

"M'hmm."

"Okay… y'know what? I've got a secret place I can show you so --"

"Is it in your pants?"

He laughed, "What?"

"Is the secret place in your pants?"

"Nah, baby. That's no secret and I'm pretty sure you can find it all on your own."

"I am something of an explorer. Always have been. You can ask anybody."

"Heh. Did you just come up with that or were you holding onto it for a while?"

"It just came to me, but if you want me to hold it for a while, I will." She laughed at the exasperated look he gave her. “Sorry. I’m sorry. That was the last one. I swear.”

“I hope not. I like you funny.”

“You do?”

“M’hmm. Nobody really has a sense of humor in the circles I gotta run in.”

Elizabeth nodded sagely, “Well, that’s because they’re stupid. Stupid people don’t usually have a good sense of humor. Everyone knows that.”

“Oh, everyone knows that, huh?”

“Oh, yes. Humor is the highest form of intelligence.”

“Really?”   


“Well… if you asked Oscar Wilde, he’d have said it’s sarcasm, but yes.”

“Hmm.” He took her hands in hers, “So… unfortunately, I have a previous engagement tonight.”

“Right.”

“But! Tomorrow night, I want you to meet me at the second trash can out from the cafeteria.”

“The second…”

“If you go right.”

“Oh, okay. What time?”

“Mmm, is nine too late?”

“No, that’s alright.”

“Then nine.”

“Nine o’clock. Second trash can on the right. I’ve got it.”

He pouted, “That feels like forever now that we’ve actually set it.”

“It kinda does.”

“What’re you gonna do between now and then?”

“Why?”

“‘Cause it’ll give me somethin’ nice to think about when… later.”

“Oh. Um…” She was a little distracted at the way his thumbs kept brushing across the backs of her hands. He actually had huge hands now that she'd noticed. Elizabeth looked down at their feet and yup, those were huge, too. Made hers look like little baby feet and she wore a size nine so that was pretty impressive. She wondered if it actually meant anything or if that was just some silly superstition.

“Hmm?”

Her eyes flitted back to his and the sneaky little smirk on his face had her blushing. He totally knew what she was thinking. She could tell.

“I’ll be here until lunch. Then I’m going to try to track Dad down and eat with him. Then I’ll be in the auditorium.”

“More paintin’?”

“No, I was told it would be a better place to practice Goldie.”

“Goldie?”

“That’s my electric guitar.”

“You named it?”

“I name all my instruments. It helps them play better.”

“Really?”

She nodded, “All musicians do it.”

“I didn’t know that.” He sighed, “I gotta go… remember to eat dinner, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ve been worried over that since you said you don’t get a lotta breaks.”

“That’s sweet, but I’ve almost always got about a pound of candy on me. I’ll be okay.”

“Candy  _ ain’t food.” _

“Agree to disagree.”

“I mean it, young lady.”

“Don’t try to tell me what to do, DeLoria! Just because I’m your girl doesn’t --”

“You’re my girl?”

“Well… yes. Of course I am. We just went over that.”

“My girl Elizabeth.” He tugged her a little closer. “That sounds so nice.”

“You never call me Elizabeth.”

“I’m reservin’ it for special occasions.”

He was smiling this time when they kissed and that was wonderful in a whole new, gooey kind of way. Made her heart feel like hot butter. She had no idea why or what that meant, but it was definitely the feeling.

She actually pouted when it was over, like some kind of idiot. He seemed pretty flattered by it though, so apparently he liked his girls brainless, sex crazed, kissing addicts. Probably most guys would, really.

“I really gotta go.”

“I know.”

“Okay.” He stood up and hugged her, “But, just so you know…”

“Hmm?”

“If I knew the first thing about peelin’ this costume off of you, I would.”

She giggled and nibbled at his neck, “I’ll show you sometime.”

He still didn’t leave until almost five minutes later. By that point, Elizabeth was not only completely braindead, but peppy enough for Mozart.  _ All  _ the Mozart. For the first time in months, she was actually happy to dance and almost missed lunch entirely. Again.

Probably would have if her PipBoy hadn’t started buzzing from her bag.

She all but skipped over and dug it out, grinning and dancing in place a little when she saw the message.

_ BRMC-TS: Prance that lil ass 2 lunch, missy. _

_ Starshine: If I don’t, are you going to spank me? _

_ BRMC-TS: No, cause that wld B a treat 4 a brat like U. _

_ Starshine: Mean. _

_ BRMC-TS: Good girls get rewarded. Go 2 lunch. _

“Hmm. What’s that supposed to mean?” She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. Part of her kinda wanted to see what would happen if she didn’t go, but a larger part of her wanted to see what the reward for going to lunch was. It couldn’t hurt, right? She’d planned on going anyway, so it’s not like he was  _ really _ telling her what to do.

_ Starshine: Hey, Dad! Want to get lunch? I forgot what you look like. _

_ DocB: Lunch sounds wonderful, honey. _

_ Starshine: I’m on the way! _

She had to change back into her vaultsuit for lunch. Dad was mostly cool with her career path nowadays, but he still got  _ that look _ whenever it got shoved in his face. He acted like he hadn’t been the one signing her up for all those classes when she was little. Like she’d just spontaneously become an artist overnight or something.

It wasn’t her fault pliés were better than pipettes.

He was already waiting in a booth and she waved as she hurried over, “Hi!”

“Hello, sweetheart.”

A smooch on the cheek and they were all ready to go. Daddy-daughter lunch date. Let the festivities begin.

“How’s the show coming?”

She almost laughed. If he even knew what it was actually called she’d eat her guitar pick. “Great! I think people are really going to enjoy it.”

“Hmm. I’m glad to hear it.”

“M’hmm. So how’s Jonas?”

“Good. He’s really coming along.” He paused in cutting up his sensible grilled chicken substitute cutlet. “Misses you, I think. It wouldn’t hurt to poke your head in every once in a while.”

“Okay, okay. I miss him, too.” She smiled at Andy as he set her usual order. “Thanks.”

He brought out a bright green milkshake from behind his back, “This is also for you, Miss Booth.”

“Oh, I don’t usually have a milkshake at lunch.” Her eyes nervously went to her father’s disapproving frown and she pouted. “I really don’t!”

“I was told to say it’s from your Secret Admirer.”

“O-oh.” She actually blushed and immediately wanted to die on the spot. “Okay. Thanks… why is it green, exactly?”

“It’s mint chocolate chip.”

“Oh. Well that makes sense.”

Her dad hummed, “Your favorite color.”

“Yup.” She took a huge bite of her BLT hoping it would discourage him from further questions but of course not.

“The mysterious Secret Admirer strikes again. I wonder if this is the same boy who sent you that valentine.”

Elizabeth covered her mouth, “Probably just a joke.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, dear.”

“Sorry.”

He smirked at her still pink cheeks. “So?”

“So?”

“Who’s the lucky boy?”

“Why do you think there’s a boy?”

“Well, last time, when you thought  _ I _ was the Secret Admirer, you yelled at me for over twenty minutes for embarrassing you.”

“Hmm.”

“But you seem awfully happy to be getting this milkshake.”

“Maybe I just really like milkshakes.”

“Well, yes, I know that.” He leaned forward a bit and lowered his voice, “You um… you have a bit of beard burn on your face, dearest.”

“What?”

James laughed, “Beard burn. Do girls not call it that anymore?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“When, you know, young people kiss, oftentimes the man’s facial stubble will chafe the young lady’s face, you see. It creates a temporary rash.”

Her eyes grew wide, “O-oh.”

“You, my darling, have beard burn. Some hydrocortisone cream should clear it right up. So… who is the lucky boy?”

Shit. He looked so damn smug and happy about it, too. There was no way he was going to let it go. Then again, he was something of a romantic, right? Maybe if she just told the truth he’d understand.

“It’s a secret.”

He immediately frowned severely, “Age.”

“Uh… eighteen.”

“Oh. Oh, well, that’s… alright then. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I got a little protective there for a minute.”

She laughed, “I’m pretty sure that’s in your job description, right?”

“Ha ha. Quite right. Well… I’m going to assume this is some amazingly dramatic, exciting whirlwind courtship.”

“As you should.”

“Just be careful.”

“I will.”

“Remember, just because you’re…  _ protected _ doesn’t mean he’s --”

“I know. I remember.”

“Okay.” He finally beamed at her, “My little girl’s first romance.”

“Ugh, Dad.”

“It’s just wonderful, princess.”

“Thanks.”

“I promise I won’t pry, but you know I’m always here if you need to talk or want advice or anything.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Okay.”

“Actually… Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“Are the…” She glanced around and leaned closer, “Are the Macks dangerous?”

He went very still and stared her down, “Elizabeth.”

“Yes?”

“You shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

She stared back and swallowed hard. Dad was all about her asking questions, so the answer was clearly yes. She nodded, “Understood.”

“It’s not Wally, is it?”

“No, and I would honestly rather die.”

He chuckled, “Good. I was worried I’d really gone wrong there for a moment. My daughter with a Tunnel Snake. Perish the thought.”

“Ha, yeah. That’d be crazy.”

She sipped on her milkshake and tried to not feel petulant. Of course he wouldn’t want her hanging around with the vault’s resident hooligans. Until she’d really gotten to know Butch, she herself had held firmly anti-Snake beliefs. Anyway, Paulie and Wally were still the worst. She didn’t even know why he hung out with those chuckleheads.

James’ PipBoy dinged and he huffed, “Damn. That’s Jonas. I’m needed in the lab.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry to cut this short, sweetheart. I really am.”

“Dad, it’s okay. You have an important job. I get why you’re busy.”

He sighed, “I know, but that doesn’t make it right.” He tapped the table thoughtfully for a moment, “I know. I  _ will _ be there Opening Night. Come hell or high water.”

“What?”

“For _ Bye Bye Birdie.” _

“You know what it’s called?”

“I…  _ yes!  _ Of course I know what my daughter’s musical is called! For heaven’s sake, Elizabeth. There are posters everywhere.”

“Oh, right.”

He stood and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “I feel like I’m neglecting you.”

“You’re not. I’m eighteen now. It’s fine.”

“Hmm. Well, everyone else around here might see you as a grownup, but I’m just not there yet.”

She laughed, “Okay. I’ll always be your princess, Daddy. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t deserve you, sweetheart. I really don’t.”

“Does anyone though?”

He laughed, “Cheeky. Just like your mother.”

“Say hi to Jonas for me.”

“I will! Don’t forget to eat dinner!”

She sighed dramatically and slouched, “I won't! Jeez.” The moment he was out the door she flagged Andy down. “Double order of fries, stat.”

“Yes, miss.”

Elizabeth stole a piece of steamed broccoli from her dad’s plate and munched on it. There. Healthy food. Now everyone could shut up about it.

_ Starshine: Dad wanted to know who you were. I told him it's a secret. _

_ BRMC-TS: Did U like the shake? _

_ Starshine: Y TY _

_ BRMC-TS: <3 My good girl. _

She started at the three simple words and immediately ducked her head. Her whole face had to be scarlet by now she just knew it. There was no way in hell she was ever letting him know how giddy this all made her. He’d never let her live it down. It was bad enough just written out. If he ever actually said it to her face she’d probably melt into a puddle at his feet and just  _ die. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a quote from Sanford Meisner: "If you have the emotion, it infects you and the audience. If you don’t have it don’t bother; just say your lines as truthfully as you are capable of doing. You can’t fake emotion.”


	4. If music be the food of love, play on.

Walking into the dark auditorium all by herself felt… weird? Not exactly weird, but different. Elizabeth double-checked to make sure the door locked behind her and only turned on the dim aisle lights and a spotlight. That was probably more than just one person needed, really, but using  _ just _ the spotlight was kind of spooky. It made her feel like the whole universe had shrunk down to a five foot circle and that was a little too close for comfort.

Mr. Holden had been right, though. The acoustics were off the charts amazing. Especially when the place was totally empty. There was actually a soft echo effect happening and she loved that. To be all alone in such a space made her feel calm and content. If she could just live here, that would be great.

A tiny whine of feedback had her laughing nervously as she plugged in Goldie. Surely it wasn’t as loud as she thought. It was just the only noise happening, so it seemed bigger was all. This was fine.

She clicked the volume dial to her usual three, took a deep breath, and clicked it over a bit more. This was kind of exciting, actually. She’d never in her life got to play  _ loud _ before. At home, she didn’t even plug in. In the practice rooms, etiquette said you kept things at a reasonable volume no matter what. But here? No rules. At least not this first time out. She could go nuts and then truthfully claim she had no idea any sound would seep through. Maybe if she bothered enough people about it, the Overseer would finally approve the refurbishment orders she knew for a fact had been queued for over ten years.

Seven was good, right? That seemed like a decent start. She stepped into the spotlight and smiled at her nonexistent audience.

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen! I’m so very glad you could make it out tonight to witness history being made right here in our little vault.” She raised her tortoise shell pick high in the air and slammed through a C chord, grinning when it came ringing back to her from the back wall.

“Holy shit. This is awesome.” It came out as a reverent whisper so as to not affect the echo and she stayed perfectly still while the sound bounced around the room. “Perfect acoustics. Oh, man… once Tata’s in charge, I’m gonna set up a whole concert series and it’s gonna be  _ nuts. _ Chip’s pretty good. He could probably swing it. I’ll just handle the arrangements like normal and get him up here and  _ God, _ it’s gonna be so cool.”

She’d had this whole idea in her head for a while now to get kids her age and younger interested in more than just bops you could dance to. Classical music remained one of the greatest gifts mankind had ever given the universe, in her opinion. There really was something for everyone. Timeless pieces that could move people. It was wonderful and it broke her heart that almost no one save her and a few old fuddy-duddies seemed to realize that.

The answer seemed pretty obvious to her. Take the music and transform it using modern instruments. Mozart was practically the Elvis of his day. Bold, daring, controversial. Kids should be worshipping his concertos the same way they did Elvis’ records. Speaking of, everyone loved  _ A Lover’s Concerto. _ Everybody. Who wouldn’t love the Supremes? The whole melody was based on Bach’s  _ Minuet in G major  _ and nobody her age even realized it.

She ran through it a few times and smiled to herself. It definitely sounded better coming through an amp. It just did. No one could deny that.

So couldn’t all classical music be rejuvenated that way? Get people hooked on it without even realizing what they were rocking out to. Why did it always have to be done via piano solos or full symphonies? It didn’t. It totally didn’t.

If you could go back in time and hand Mozart an electric guitar, he’d probably pee his pants in excitement and write a whole damn opera around the thing.

Her latest self-set challenge was to rework all of Vivaldi’s  _ Four Seasons. _ So far she’d already conquered Winter and Autumn. Spring was just… a little too crazy for now, but Summer? Summer was perfect.

Probably could stand to be a  _ little _ louder though.

She nudged the amp up to eight for the first time ever in her life and her heart was actually racing as she counted herself off. The piercingly sweet sound filled the hall and she laughed and sang along with it. How could anyone not love music this glorious? All the old masters had been geniuses and --

_ “Woo!” _

Her hand spasmed and she dropped her pick. A horrific jumble of discordant notes followed and made her wince. She set her palm against the strings to smother the sound and listened carefully. Elizabeth squinted into the darkness but she couldn’t see anyone. That lovely feeling of rapturous joy she’d been riding collapsed into something close to terror and she quickly backed out of the spotlight.

“Who’s there? You… you can’t be here! The auditorium is closed!”

The sound of a lighter being flicked answered her and a small flame appeared from the back row. “Encore! Encore!”   


She huffed, “Butch?”

“Yeah!”

“What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Watchin’ a rock concert.”

“I… I thought you were busy tonight.”

The flame finally extinguished and he ambled towards the stage, “I was busy until around ten. Figured I’d peek in and see my girl but she wasn’t home.”

“It’s ten?”

“It’s eleven, actually. Took me a while to realize you must still be here.”

“Oh.”

“So how long have you been practicing?”

“Uh.” She stretched her left hand out and realized it did feel a bit sore. “About nine hours.”

“You skipped dinner, didn’t ya? After I specifically told you not to.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

He clicked his tongue, “That’s a paddlin’.”

She motioned towards the stool next to her, “I had provisions.”

He came up on stage and frowned down at the pile of candy wrappers and half-finished can of water. “Uh-huh.”

“I guess I should probably take a break.”

“M’hmm.”

“I’ll just… I’ll pack up now.”

He watched her get her things together and Goldie unplugged, helpfully picking up the heavy amp as she moved her things backstage. A rather rueful sort of smile crossed his face. “So you weren’t kiddin’, huh?”

“About what?”

“You really can’t perform in front of an audience.”

“Oh… yeah, I… I just…” She carefully set her guitar in its velvet lined case and closed it with a sigh.

“You freeze like a puddle.”

“Yeah.”

“Looked like freakin’ Bambi on ice up here.”

“Oh, ha ha.”

“You’re really good, y’know. I mean, I knew you were talented but you’re like,  _ really _ good. I’ve never heard music like that before. Like I would  _ pay _ to --”

“Yes, okay, thank you.” She took the amp from him and dragged it back to the corner.

“I embarrassed you.”

Elizabeth shook her head, “I was just startled.”

“Nah, I mean… tellin’ you how good you are. That embarrasses you, doesn’t it?”

She shrugged, “I guess I’m not very comfortable with praise.”

“That’s terrible.” His arms wound around her from behind and he pulled her close. “Especially since you’re such a good girl.”

Oh, God. This was it. The event horizon for whatever dignity she had left. She just barely managed to make some sort of squeak come out and even that was a struggle.

Butch pressed a kiss against her temple and whispered, “And I’m just gonna keep sayin’ it, too, so you damn well better get used to it.”

If his arms weren’t around her, she would definitely be a puddle. No question. Well, fuck it. If she was going to devolve into some kind of single-minded sex kitten whenever he was around, she may as well jump right in with both feet.

“Butch?”

“Hmm?” His lips had found her earlobe to nibble on and she almost cried at the fact that she’d had to wait eighteen whole years for somebody to do that because it was _amazing._

“There aren’t cameras back here, are there?”

“Nope.”

“Good.” She heard his sharp inhale at the sound her vaultsuit’s zipper made as she pulled it down and grinned at the swell of confidence it gave her.

His hand slipped inside and settled on her stomach. “You don’t wear anything under your suit?”

“Of course I do.” Oh, she knew  _ exactly _ what Janet Leigh would do here. Elizabeth giggled quietly, took his other hand and planted it right on her breast. She’d bought herself fancy lingerie as her birthday present to herself to mark her debut into adulthood and she’d never been felt more vindicated over a frivolous purchase in her life. “See?”

“Shit, baby.” His hand gently brushed against the delicate lace and she wiggled at the tickling feel of his touch. There was no mistaking the bulge now pressing insistently against her. He groaned and his teeth briefly caught her neck. “You’re so soft.”

“And you’re so not.” She turned her head enough that he could see her face and smirked at him. “Maybe we should do something about that.”

“You really wanna?”

“M’hmm.”

“Right here?”

God, he still hadn’t even properly kissed her yet. That was just unacceptable. Her smirk dissolved into a pout, “Please?”

“I kinda thought you’d be a silk sheets and candles kinda girl.”

“Hmm. Actually, that does sound really nice.”

“Oh.”

“We should do that  _ later.” _

_ “Oh. _ Okay. Yeah. Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

He finally, finally kissed her and she moaned and stretched against him like a cat. Both of his hands were on her breasts now, teasing at her nipples as they hardened under the lace. Elizabeth almost felt drunk at the staggering combination of excitement and hot arousal that swirled in her stomach. They left her suddenly and she immediately made an unhappy sound and pulled away from his kiss.

“No. More. I want more.”

“Me, too.”

He pulled her vaultsuit down to her hips and she slipped it off her arms while he unhooked her bra. The flimsy undergarment soon vanished somewhere and his hands returned to exactly where they’d been before only now it was about a million times better. Elizabeth gasped and whimpered as his rough skin rubbed against hers. His mouth was on her neck again, teeth digging in just a little while he sucked hard.

A delicious kind of growling purr that came from his chest seemed to have a direct line to the core of her and she was actually so wet she felt a little embarrassed by it. Not that it stopped her from happily leaning into his touch when his hand wriggled into her panties. He ground against her and started drawing the most maddening swirls over her clit, chuckling when she softly cried out. It wasn’t like she hadn’t ever done this before, but only ever with herself. It was definitely better when he did it though.

“You want it bad, don’t you?”

Words were hard but she nodded and tried, “Yes.”

“Hmm.” He slowly pushed a finger inside her and groaned, “Oh, fuck, you are so tight, baby.”

She wanted to argue that she was pretty sure it was more his damn hands were so big. He was able to get so much deeper than she ever could, too. She’d almost gotten used to the one when he pushed in a second and she shuddered at the slow stretch. A sob caught in her throat and he froze.

“Elizabeth?”

Oh, God, why’d he stop? She didn’t want him to stop. A few futile attempts at moving her hips against his hold had her wanting to stomp her foot in frustration.

“Don’t stop.”

“Sweetheart, are you a virgin?”

He sounded so shocked and almost appalled that she could help but laugh breathlessly.

“Why are you laughin’?”

She managed to calm herself enough to bring it down to a quiet giggling. “I thought you knew. You’re the first boy who ever kissed me and that was just yesterday. Why wouldn’t I be a virgin?”

His hand left her hip to turn her face towards his and his eyes frantically searched hers. “Oh, my God, you’re serious.”

In the time it took her to blink, he was almost a whole foot away from her. Staring like she’d just grown two heads. She covered her chest with her arms and turned around to face him.

“What? Did I do something wrong?”

“No! No, of course you didn’t.  _ I… _ Jesus, I… we almost…”

“Do you… not want to have sex with me?”

Butch frantically shook his head, “No. That is definitely  _ not _ it.”

Okay, she was extremely confused then. He seemed weirdly frustrated and flustered. “Are you mad that I’m a virgin? Is that a bad thing?”

“No, baby. No, I just… you’re…” He waved a hand towards her, “Just look at you!  _ Shit.” _

“What?”

“You’re  _ beautiful. _ You’ve always… I figured one of your little art buddies woulda noticed that a long time ago and…”

“Oh.”

“If I’d known how new all this stuff was to you, I’d have held back more.”

She frowned, “Why?”

“‘Cause! You’re a… you know, you’re up here.” He held a hand above his head, “And I’m way down here.” It dropped to below his waist as her eyes followed. “I thought maybe you were just slummin’ around or somethin’, I didn’t --”

“Oh.” Tears welled up and she had to look away from him. “So… you just thought I was using you?”

“I… I dunno. I wasn’t gonna question it, I know that. A bum like me gettin’ this lucky is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so… I didn’t really care.”

For some reason that hurt more than the rejection did. She really needed to get out of here. “Would you please hand me my bra?”

“Oh, uh… sure.” He looked around and finally spotted it laying on top of the practice piano and passed it to her. “It’s um… it’s pretty.”

“Thanks.” She turned around to put it back on. Kind of felt like girding her loins for battle. Bubblegum pink armor for her heart.

“I don’t get it. Why the hell would you pick a guy like me for somethin’ like this? Don’t you understand what you’re worth?”

Elizabeth shrugged into her vaultsuit and zipped it all the way up. Part of her wanted to turn around and face him. Yell and rage and get all the hurt and disappointment she was now lost in out of her system. But he had enough people using him as a punching bag already. This wasn’t a  _ her _ thing. It was a  _ him _ thing. If he didn’t recognize the only force in the universe that could possibly make a girl like her turn on a dime and go from loathing him to wanting to be with him overnight, she couldn’t help him. He was just going to have to figure it out for himself.

“Goodnight, Butch.”

“Hey, no. Just… wait a minute.”

She grabbed her duffle, hopped down from the stage so he couldn’t catch her and bolted for the door.

“Wait!  _ Elizabeth!” _

His voice broke over her name and she wanted to stop. Wanted to run back to him. But then what? He’d gone into this thing thinking she was just having a fling. So did he even care about her like she did him? Or was it all just some fantasy he thought they were both playing at? She didn’t know and right now, she wasn’t sure she could even handle finding out.

By the time she made it home, her PipBoy was full of messages. All from him. All begging her to come back, but none of them said what she wanted them to say. She stared down at the lines continuing to fill her screen and made the executive decision to shove the damn thing in a drawer.

Cold shower. Long nightgown. Complete and total cocooning in her bed.

One more night of this and it was going to become a habit.

* * *

Dancing at a professional level was actually incredibly hard on the human body. She knew this because her father had told her so, over and over. That the repetitive motion and unnecessary stress to her joints and muscles would, over time, eventually render her too lame to do even the most basic of movements.

She also knew this because when she woke up the next morning, there was no part of her body that wasn’t screaming bloody murder at her. The arches of her feet hurt, of course. So did her ankles. Knees stiff and they popped in the most horribly satisfying way when she tried to stretch out of her fetal pose. Her hands ached, too, though that was more the music’s fault. Her head was pounding, but that was no doubt her sinuses objecting strongly to her crying over a boy for the second night in a row.

Her alarm clock said it was already eight in the morning. She hadn’t slept in so late in… ever. Elizabeth groaned and all but fell out of bed. The floor at least felt nice against her forehead and she sighed in resignation as the soothing cold of it seeped through her. She almost felt hungover. Was that a thing that could happen from too many intense emotions? Maybe?

A repeated buzzing from her bedside table drawer had her puzzled until she remembered she’d shoved her stupid PipBoy into it the night before. Yes, turning it off would have been simpler, but if you left it off for too long, chances were good a security team would be knocking on your door to make sure you weren’t dead. The last thing she, or anyone, really, needed was having to deal with one of the Macks while emotionally compromised. No, thank you.

She grabbed it and trudged into the bathroom. Thank God she hadn’t used all of her water rations for the week. She needed a bath and she needed it in the worst possible way. Also, her teeth needed brushing after all that candy yesterday, so she saw to that while the tub filled. Multitasking even when this low, ladies and gentlemen. The girl ain’t dead yet.

A generous helping of bath salts and she eased in, making appreciative sounds as the hot water soothed her aching body. The lavender in it should soothe her heart. Or so Beatrice had promised. Who knew though, really? The woman always had some new miracle cure she was trying to sell you.

Feeling slightly bolstered, she picked up the PipBoy and opened the messages. Inbox full. Neat. That had never happened in the history of ever for her. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

_ BRMC-TS: Talk to me. _

_ BRMC-TS: Plz? _

_ BRMC-TS: RU even getting these? _

_ BRMC-TS: U cld at least let me kno UR OK. _

_ BRMC-TS: I f’ed up. _

_ BRMC-TS: Im sry. _

_ BRMC-TS: IDK Y UR mad at me. _

_ BRMC-TS: Wish U’D talk to me. _

_ BRMC-TS: Just didnt want U to regret it. _

_ BRMC-TS: Y me??? _

_ BRMC-TS: U deserve better. _

_ BRMC-TS: Im sry. _

On and on like that for over fifty messages. She scrolled down to the last one and sighed heavily. He’d sent it just before four in the morning. Jesus.

_ BRMC-TS: Plz talk to me. _

He just didn’t get it. Maybe he’d never get it. She set her PipBoy aside with a thump on the bathroom rug and closed her eyes.

“I love you, you fucking idiot.”

She elected to not get dressed today. Fuck it. She had slightly less depressing, but no less comfy, pajamas that were perfectly decent for a day of moping around the house. Buttercup yellow with little white stars all over them. Cute and chic with their men’s style cut and cuffs that fell over her hands.

Almost made her feel sorta human as she moseyed into the kitchen. She’d drink her weight in tea and eat every piece of junk food in the house while watching a marathon of the happiest of Shirley Temple movies. If all that didn’t work, then and  _ only _ then would she shoot Tata a message and tell her she was sick or something. There was nothing her best friend loved more in the whole wide world than a chance to mother hen someone and her alphabet soup was pretty damn delicious.

So this could still be a good day. She could salvage this. Totally.

A note on the fridge caught her eye and she paused to read it.  _ “Lisbit, I heard you crying last night. Whatever’s happened, I’m sorry that it did. Sometimes love is just like that. If you need me, I’m here. Love, Dad. _ Oh, God, he heard?! Jesus Christ, that is so embarrassing.” She pulled the note down and stuffed it into her pocket. He must be actually worried about her. The last time he’d called her Lisbit had been when she’d snapped her fibula like a twig trying to land a grand jeté when she was thirteen.

Supplies in hand, she moved back into her bedroom, popped in  _ Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm _ and flopped bonelessly onto the bed.

Her nose wrinkled the second William Demarest oozed onto the screen. “Boo, hiss. Evil stepdad at twelve o’clock. Aaah.” Shirley was cute as a button, as always, and she scoffed. “What kinda asshole would sell his little girl for five thousand dollars, am I right, Cupcake?” She stared hard at the stuffed horse on her shelf and nodded. “Yeah, exactly. You know what I’m talkin’ about. You get it.”

It was probably sad and pathetic that a grown woman still defaulted to talking to her stuffed animals in times of ultimate crisis, but they were still the best listeners she’d ever found.

Elizabeth was up to  _ The Little Princess _ when a buzzing at the front door had her scowling. “I swear to God. I swear to God if it’s that jerk I will lose my mind.”

She stomped over to the door and opened it. “What do you -- oh, hi, Andy.”

“Miss Booth! I’m  _ so _ glad I found you!”

“Why?”

“I have a delivery to make! It was scheduled for lunch but you never showed up to eat.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry.”

“Here you are.” He pulled out a bouquet of… roses? Were those roses? “One dozen freshly dyed green roses for the miss.”

“Uh…” She reluctantly accepted them. “Thanks.”

“Also! One muffin basket.”

Okay, that peaked her interest a bit more. “Muffins? There’s muffins? What kind?”

“Blueberry, banana and oat bran.”

“Oat bran?” Her nose wrinkled. Gross.

“They’re the healthiest muffins we offer.”

Oh, okay. She got it. He was trying to show he cared by making sure she ate right. Or sorta right, anyway. It was annoying, but she got it. “Great.”

“Have a nice day!”

“Thanks, Andy. You, too.” She shut and locked the door before bothering with the card stuck in the flowers. No name, no message. Just a heart. “Still dunno what to say, huh? Jerk.”

The roses really were lovely though. Originally cream, now sporting a green so bright at the edges a shamrock would envy them. Pretty green vase, too. She brought them and her basket into her room and set them both on her desk.

“Bribery will get you nowhere, slick. Hmph. Can you believe this, Archibald?” Her old teddy bear stared back at her and she nodded. “Exactly. The _ nerve.” _

She decided on blueberry first. The little pellets they used for the fruit part were basically rehydrated candy, right? She switched out holos and hummed along to the opening theme for  _ Now and Forever. _

“Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. You’ve gotta get yourself together, buddy. You’ve got a little girl and a second wife to think about.”

This one was actually kinda hard to watch now that she’d started it. Jerry the would-be criminal was ridiculously bad at his life in general, but especially at being a crook. She hated how this one ended, too. His little girl gets to go to rich people boarding school while he’s shot and pretty much going to be arrested the second he recovers? Hardly a perfect happy ending. Carole Lombard was gorgeous in action though, so… still worth a viewing every once in a while.

Time ticked by excruciatingly slow for the rest of the afternoon, despite the nonstop muffin-palooza and quality entertainment. Elizabeth couldn’t help but wonder what Butch was up to. If he was safe somewhere or if the Macks had him tied to train tracks while they twirled their evil mustaches. There had to be a way to get him free from those jerks, right? She thought hard and was only a little ashamed that her first thought was that if his mom were out of the picture, he’d be free. Sure, it was the easiest way but the cost was too high. Way too high. That was nuts.

Anyway, they could still get to him, right? He probably valued his own life enough that they’d just switch to threatening him directly. She hoped he did, anyway.

She still couldn’t believe he was going to have to marry Susie someday. Stand there before the chaplain with everybody watching in the Atrium and say the words that would bond them in holy matrimony forever. And what the hell did it say about her that the whole idea did absolutely nothing to dim her feelings for him whatsoever? In fact, she could totally see herself getting off at sneaking around with him as much as possible, even after he was married, just to stick it to those assholes.

Also, a ring on his finger wouldn’t change the fact that he was the hottest creature on the planet and she was only human, right? Did she really care about being a homewrecker? Yes, of course. In an abstract sort of way. She did not care, however, about wrecking any home where a Mack resided. So… there you go.

Elizabeth Booth, good girl gone bad. Bum bum bum. It read like pulp and she kinda liked it.

She glanced over at the clock. Eight-thirty already. Just a half hour until she was supposed to go all covert agent and meet Butch. Or it had been, anyway.

Would he show up? Maybe hope that she would magically be there? Would he wait ages for her until giving up? Doing the slow, sad walk home as the camera pulls back and the screen fades to black?

Would this be the end for our intrepid anti-heroine’s foray into real romance?

“Goddammit.”

By nine o’clock on the dot, she was standing by the stupid second trash can on the right, just like he’d told her to. Hair brushed out and her favorite, most powerful, most show-stopping lingerie set on under her vaultsuit. The French scalloped Chantilly lace in jet black always made her feel especially frisky and womanly.  _ Dangerous, _ even. She just felt better being completely prepared for all possible outcomes here. Could be war, could be the greatest night of her life, could be crickets. Who knew? Better to be safe than sorry.

Nobody was out and about. The halls were completely dead. Family types had gone to bed early for the start of the workweek like always and amorous kids were snuggled up with each other in various hidey-holes all over the place. So it was just her and the tumbleweeds.

If the vault was cool enough to have tumbleweeds, that is.

A quick time check had her sighing. Two minutes past. He’d been early last time. She rubbed her arm against the permanent low-key chill in the air and ducked her head, feeling a little silly for getting her hopes up. He wasn’t coming. He’d probably found some other, more experienced, significantly less irksome girl to be with for the evening. She should just break into the cafeteria, steal a whipped cream canister, take it home and drown herself in sugary goodness. That wouldn’t be so --

“You actually came.”

She looked up and couldn’t help but smile at the shocked look on his face, “Hi.”

He stared at her like he really wanted to say something, but didn’t. Instead he just jerked his head to indicate that she should follow him and started off down the hall. She fell into step behind him and kept her mouth shut. Whatever was going on, and wherever he was leading her, if he could talk, he would. So she’d just wait.

Their path made the strangest of zigzags as they went. A lot of stopping and starting. A few times he broke into a jog and she had to hurry to keep up. It was actually a little discombobulating to go through the vault this way. She was starting to feel a bit lost when he finally stopped in front of a door and she quietly gasped.

The restricted section. _Nobody_ went there. So far as she knew the door never even --

It whooshed open in front of her and her mouth fell open.

\-- opened. He’d just opened the damn door with some kind of card thing from his pocket. Was this some kind of gift from the Macks or something he’d stolen? She had about infinity billion questions already, but he stepped inside and pulled her in, too, before shutting the door behind them. Heavy maglocks engaged and she jumped a bit at the noise.

Even the locks at home didn’t make such a loud sound.

He took her hand this time and walked straight down the hall. Cameras were here, too, but they were all dark. The lenses long shattered by some kind of attack or fight. It was dingier here. Clearly built to the same standards as the rest of the place, but not as well maintained. Some of the walls had water stains and more than a few lights flickered overhead.

Butch finally spoke quietly as they went, “These are the old quarters. Originally the vault had a thousand people. They used something called hot bunking to house everybody. Basically a bunch of people in one room. The population started dropping about a hundred years ago and everybody spread out. Then fifty years ago, there were so few people, they didn’t need the extra room anymore. So they sealed it all off.”

“How did you get a keycard?”

“Swiped it.”

“Were you the one who broke the cameras?”

He shook his head, “No. Somebody else beat me to it.”

“Oh.”

They finally came to a door that looked identical to every other door they’d passed. Completely ordinary. His hand tightened around hers and he took a deep breath.

“Okay. Here goes.”

“What?”

The door whooshed open and warm, soft light spilled out. The room itself was tiny. Barely any bigger than her own bedroom. Whatever furniture had originally been placed here had no doubt been tossed in favor of an old couch and a veritable pile of mattresses on the floor, all covered with blankets and what looked to be actual rose petals. Candles set on the coffee table provided the only light.

“What is this place?”

“Well… usually this is where I go to get away from everybody, but tonight I was kinda hoping it could be more like a honeymoon suite.”

“Oh.” She stepped inside and looked around.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s… warm. It’s warmer here.”

“Yeah, I tweaked a few things. Adjusted the thermostat and took out all the stupid fluorescent lights.”

“You don’t like those?”

“I hate overhead lighting. Gives me a headache.”

“Me, too.”

“I got a hotplate, too, and the bathroom works.”

“It’s like your home away from home.”

“Yeah.”

She kind of felt pathetic for asking but couldn’t help herself. “Have you ever brought --”

“No. Nobody else even knows this place exists.”

“Oh.” The exclusivity of it all was a little overwhelming. She’d never been a VIP anywhere before. “I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“M’hmm.” She turned as he shut the door behind him and smiled. It felt like their own little oasis from the rest of the vault. “It’s perfect.”

“So… I thought a lot today.”

“About?”

“‘Bout you… and us.”

“Oh.”

“I couldn’t really figure out why you got so mad last night --”

She huffed irritably.

“-- but I got a few theories and I’m just gonna toss ‘em out there. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You were dancin’ and hit your head on a --”

“No.”

“Alright.” He smiled softly in the face of her scowl and took her hand before heading for the couch. “You’ve got a terminal illness and only have six months to --”

“No, I’m perfectly healthy.” She narrowed her eyes. He was acting awfully mischievous right now for someone who was about to get socked in the mouth. Or had he actually figured it out?

“Hmm, well, I’m relieved to hear it.” Butch sat on the couch and pulled her down to straddle his lap. “Then that just leaves one possible reason and it’s the craziest one of the bunch.”

“M’hmm, and what’s that?” She was pretty sure he'd gotten it. Mostly sure. That deserved a reward, right? Elizabeth tugged down the zipper on his vaultsuit and scooted closer to press kisses against the pulse in his neck.

“Jesus, baby.” His hands squeezed her hips and he let his head fall back for easier access. “You really never even kissed anybody before?”

“Nope.”

“You’re a goddamn natural then.”

She nipped him and giggled at the way he squirmed under her. “Haven’t you heard? I’m precocious. Everyone says so.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“What’s your final theory, Butch?”

His head came back up and he stared at her with troubled eyes, “I dunno if I should say it.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause if it’s not true, I’m gonna sound like the world’s most arrogant bastard. And if it is true, then you’re certifiable.”

“Come on. Be brave for me.”

He took a deep breath, “You’re in love with me.”

She grinned, “There you go. Now you’re gettin’ it.”

“But I don’t! Why? Why on earth would you… a week ago you hated me. You've _always_ hated me 'cause I was always such a jerk! How can --”

Her hand covered his mouth before more stupid crap fell out of it. “You kissed me and my brain turned into pudding. It’s just that simple.”

He tugged it down and blinked at her, “That’s it? That’s all it took?”

“Apparently.”

“I don’t deserve you though.”

“Yeah, I hear that a lot. The thing is, no one does. I’m not a door prize from the universe you know. I’m my own person. I do what I want.”

“But I feel like I didn’t earn any of this.”

“How do you  _ earn _ love?” She smiled at his confused expression, “Yeah, see? You don’t. It’s free. _ I love you, _ Butch DeLoria. My heart has beat only for you since the moment you kissed me and I’m yours because I want to be.” She shrugged, “That’s all.”

“That’s  _ all?” _

“That’s all.”

“That’s kinda everything though.”

“I really feel like you’re overthinking this.”

He snorted, “Now there’s a thing I’ve never once been accused of.”

She laughed and tugged his zipper a little further down. Stupid men’s undershirts. “Butch?”

“Yeah?”

Her hands slipped inside his suit and she gently scratched at him with her fingernails. “I love you and I want you and I’m yours so… take me already.”

“You’re a goddamn dream come true, you know that?” He carefully cradled her face and kissed her. “I love you, too. You’ve been my dream girl for years, but… I wasn’t doin’ you justice at all. ‘Cause it’s  _ better. _ You’re better than everything I imagined.”

She felt her heart swell with happiness in her chest and beamed. “Really?”

“Really.”

_ “Wow.” _ She sighed happily, “I’m so glad I wore my favorite underwear today.”

He snorted with laughter, “Jesus.”

Elizabeth giggled, “Sorry.”

“We were havin’ a moment there, y’know.”

“Well, I’d like for us to have a moment over  _ there.”  _ She gestured back at the love nest he’d put together behind her. “So… priorities.”

“You're just bound and determined to _not_ be romanced, huh? Alright, fine, little miss sassy pants. Stand up and take your boots off.”

She grinned as she got off his lap. “Okay, but don’t think I’m doing this just because you told me to. I’m doing it because I  _ want _ to.”

“Right. You’re an independent woman and you do what you want.”

“Exactly.”

He chuckled and the second her shoes were off, stood up as well. Almost towering over her now that she was barefoot. “You’re really sure you want to do this?”

“I’m _sure._ Hurry up already!”

“Hey, simmer down. We’re gonna have to go a  _ little _ slow here, speed demon.”

She grumbled, “Okay, fine.”

Butch’s hand slipped into her hair and pulled back until she was staring up him. “You honestly think I don’t wanna just rip all your clothes off, put you on your knees and fuck you silly? ‘Cause I do. That’s exactly what I was  _ gonna _ do last night.”

Heat flooded her face and she wiggled, "Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s do that.”

“But you’re special and this is special, so we’re gonna do it right.”

She pouted but nodded, “Okay.”

“Hmm… how long do you think you can stay here before somebody notices you’re gone?”

“I have to teach a music class tomorrow morning at ten.”

“Good. ‘Cause I’m gonna keep you here as long as I possibly can.” He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “So don’t worry, baby. We’re gonna get to all that stuff later.”

Warm, wet heat settled between her legs and she gasped softly.

“What?”

“I just… that… uh…”

“Hmm?”

“I just got really wet when you said that.”

“You did?”

“M’hmm.”

He carefully studied her face and finally grinned, “You’ve got no shame at all, huh?”

“Not with you.”

“Good. That’s probably gonna come in real handy later.”

“Oh, my God.” She squeezed her eyes shut as another little shiver zipped through her. “Butch, I’m gonna  _ die _ if you don’t touch me soon.”

“Well, we can’t have that.” He finally let go of her hair and unclipped her belt and PipBoy, tossing them carelessly on the couch before pulling her zipper down in an excruciatingly slow sort of way. “You wanna know a secret?”

“Yes, always.”

“I used to peep on you back when we were kids.”

“What? You did?”

“Yup, I’d usually wait until you went to change for your dance class after school. Go into the men’s restroom, climb up on a toilet, and watch you through the vent.”

“You dirty little pervert.”

“You know it.”

“When did you stop?”

He grinned, “I’ll let you know if it ever happens.”

“I bet you peeped on all the girls, huh?”

“Nope. Just you.” The second her suit was peeled off her shoulders, he pressed a kiss there. “You were always just so… I dunno. Graceful, I guess? I saw you twirl one day during gym and that was it for me. You were just goofin’ around with Amata like it was no big deal but you looked like uh… you know one of them fairies from  _ Fantasia? _ When they’re doin’ all the dewdrops and shit?”

“The sugar plum fairies.”

“Right. That’s what it reminded me of.” He stared down at her bra and sucked in a breath, “Yeah, I think this is my favorite underwear of yours, too.”

She liked how focused he looked. The way his voice got quieter and more serious was pretty yummy, too. “The panties match.”

“Hmm, I definitely need to see that.”

Elizabeth giggled and felt weirdly excited as he knelt down to pull her suit off. Butch on his knees at her feet was kind of doing it for her. Definitely. Especially when he set his hands on her waist after she stepped out and stared up at her. She felt powerful and adored.

Diana Dors probably felt this way every single day of her life.

“You are so beautiful.”

“Thank you. So are you.”

His face actually went a little pink and he kissed her belly button before wrapping his arms around her and hiding. She smiled and ran a hand through his hair. This was all new to her, sure, and she should probably be a little nervous, but she figured he wasn’t exactly an expert, either. He could probably fuck at an Olympic level in his sleep at this point, but actual affection? Freely given with no expectations or strings attached? It was all Greek to him.

He somehow managed to both ease back onto the couch and pull her along with him so she was back in his lap. Same exact position as before except now she was naked. Or mostly naked, anyway. He, however, hadn’t taken off a damn thing and she was a little pouty over it.

She whined as his hands skimmed along her back before settling back on her hips. This just wasn’t fair. His lips found hers again though and she didn’t even notice him scooting down a bit before pressing her hard against his lap. Her panties were so wet they may as well be nonexistent and it felt like she was grinding directly against the stiff leather edge of his vaultsuit. The rock hard cock behind it didn’t hurt, either.

A sharp shudder rolled through her and she moaned into his mouth. This was so much better than the few times she’d tried grinding against a pillow. Not to mention more efficient. So much more. She was well over halfway there already. His hands slipped back to grip her ass and she finally had to break away from their kiss.

Elizabeth dropped her head against his shoulder and panted, “Butch…”

“Just like that, baby. Keep goin’.”

Her thighs trembled and wound her arms around his neck, “Don’t…”

“I won’t stop, sweetheart. Don’t worry.”

“No, don’t… don’t let it go to your head, okay?”

“What?”

Her breath stuttered and she whimpered as her whole body trembled. Just a few more rough passes and she was flying. His hand tangled in her hair and pulled so his lips could crash against hers. She was positively breathless when he finally released her.

“You just came, didn't you?”

“M’hmm.”

“You… that wasn’t even two minutes.”

“Okay.” She cuddled against him and absolutely resented the fact that he still had his stupid clothes on. His hand was still in her hair only now he was petting her, cooing soft words in her ear that made her smile.

“You’re an honest to God treasure, you know that? You’re  _ my _ treasure. I never had anything that belonged to me and only me my whole damn life and then I get you. It’s a fuckin’ miracle.”

Her hand moved over his heart. She hated how he seemed to view all of life as some big transaction, like there was a celestial abacus in the sky or something. “You deserve happiness. Stop talking like you don't.”

He pulled her closer and whispered, “Did I wish you into existence? You gotta tell me if I did, right? That’s some kinda fairyland rule, isn’t it?”

She laughed, “Butch?”

“Yeah?”

“Please take your clothes off already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from William Shakespeare (Twelfth Night).
> 
> Also, if you'd like to have a listen to the kinda music Elizabeth was making, it's kinda like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBtj07G_x-A
> 
> I am a sucker for "metal" versions of music that have no business being played that way. Thrashgrass, for example, gives me life. LOL


	5. Live this day as if it were your last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Comments on living with and recovering from an eating disorder.
> 
> Title comes from a quote by Wayne Dryer (author & motivational speaker): "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed."

A warm chuckle rumbled out of him, “I knew you were a bossy little brat under everything.”

“I am not!” She raised her head and pouted at him, “If I were a brat, I’d be a lot meaner than I am.”

“M’hmm.”

She huffed while he leisurely took his coat off and carefully laid it over the arm of the couch. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was deliberately trying to push her. He was practically daring her to be vicious. It was like he actually wanted her to be mean.

Well, fine.

Elizabeth slipped out of his lap onto her knees and smiled in a feline sort of way while he completely froze and stared at her. Maintaining eye contact while she ran her hands up his thighs was hard, but doable. Really she wanted to laugh her ass off at the way his eyebrows seemed to be directly connected to her actions. He was like a marionette or something.

She shot him one last, mean little pout and slunk away, crawling over to the makeshift bed as elegantly as she possibly could. Rolling her hips and shoulders to keep her actions smooth and cat-like. All but collapsing into a perfect picture of decadent, doe-eyed nymph come out of an enchanted wood to play.

It was a bit heavy-handed, really, but he’d basically called her a fairy princess twice already, so she was going to stick with the theme.

He was still frozen in place. Still just watching. That wouldn’t do. She rolled over onto her back and lolled her head his way.

“If only there were a big strong man around to help me out of these terribly wet panties.” She chuckled at how wide his eyes went and finally had to break character. “See?  _ That’s _ mean.”

The spell broken, he finally blinked and hurried to untie his boots. “I think I kinda like you mean, actually.”

“M’hmm, I bet you do.”

He stood and began to strip down, chuckling at the way she openly stared. "Like what you see?"

"Yes."

"Heh. Nobody ever told you the girl's supposed to play coy or whatever, did they?"

"Weren't you the one who told me to not act?"

"Yeah, I did." Once down to just his underwear, he finally joined her on the mattress and knelt over her. "I like you honest. I don't really get a lotta that in my life. I like knowing I can ask you a question and you'll just answer it without any stupid head games or whatever."

"Hmm." God, he had great arms. Great everything, sure, but those  _ arms. _ She was trying hard to listen and maintain eye contact and all that, but they were just  _ there, _ on either side of her head. How was she not supposed to get distracted?

He kissed her softly and started a trail of kisses down her neck. "What are you thinking? Right this second."

"I kind of want to bite your arms but I don't know if that's a thing people do."

His head came up, "You wanna…"

"Bite your arms, yes."

"Why?'

"I don't know. I just feel like it would be satisfying."

"Oh." He glanced over at one and flexed it. "You're into muscles, huh?"

"I'm into yours."

"Heh. Good answer."

"Thanks."

"In that case, I give you special permission to bite whatever the hell you want."

She giggled, "Okay."

"So long as you'll let me bite whatever I want."

"That seems fair."

"M'hmm." His lips nibbled at the light bruise still lingering from the night before on her neck. "You look good wearin' my marks. Kinda makes me wanna leave a few more."

"Really?" Okay, she'd waited long enough. Elizabeth ran her hands up along his arms to his shoulders. She liked how the muscles twitched and rolled at her touch. His skin felt almost feverish under her fingers.

"Really." He was down to her chest by now and tugged at her bra with his teeth. "Pretty as it is, this needs to come off."

"Okay." She arched her back while he slid a hand behind her and laughed at how quickly he had it undone. "Hmm. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you had some practice with that."

"Maybe a little." He grinned in that wholly unrepentant, incorrigible way of his and actually whistled appreciatively as she slipped it off. "God, you're gorgeous. I feel like I just don't say that enough."

"What's enough?"

"Exactly."

She laughed and was wholly unprepared for the sensation that crashed over her when his tongue slowly dragged over a nipple. A sharp gasp escaped her as his mouth sealed over it and began to pull and suck at the tender flesh. Her legs moved restlessly as she squirmed and by the time he moved on to the other to give it the same treatment, she was panting.

“Oh, my God.”

“Hmm?” His eyes watching her slowly losing her mind while he’d suckled and used his hand to idly play with her other breast made a bright flush settle in her cheeks.

“I didn’t think that would feel that good.”

He chuckled and released her to speak. “Baby, you don’t even know what good feels like yet.”

“Well, I would if you would just get on with it!”

“Alright, listen here.” His hand slipped into her panties and he pushed a finger deep inside her, smirking when she whimpered. “See how that feels?”

“M’hmm.” Like heaven. Like freaking heaven. Made her all squirmy and warm inside.

He moved up so they were eye to eye and slowly pumped his finger in and out. “It’s tight, see?”

Was it? She didn’t really care about that part. What she cared about was how deep he was able to reach and the delicious wet sound it made.

“Now put your hand inside my shorts.”

Okay, that definitely got her attention. Elizabeth stared at him until he nodded and she nodded back. Sure, she’d never actually done this before but she’d taken health class and Amata was chatty. She knew how things worked. Her hand eagerly reached for him and the second it wrapped around his length, his teeth were set in her neck while he groaned. Blazingly hot. She’d apparently found the source of all the heat he generated. Thick. Definitely bigger than his finger. Bigger than even three of her own. She squeezed lightly and his hips bucked against her.

For the first time since they’d started, nerves skittered up her spine. How was he supposed to fit inside her body? Last night, he could barely get two fingers inside her and she was almost positive his cock was a bit bigger than that.

“O-oh.”

He chuckled quietly in her ear and whispered, “See? I don’t wanna hurt you, treasure. I just want it to feel good.”

“Okay.”

“You almost sound meek right now. It’s kinda funny.”

“Are you… you’re sure it’s going to work?”

“Oh, it’ll work. It’s definitely gonna work.”

“Okay.”

“Just trust me, alright? Stop rushin’. Let me set the pace.”

“Okay. I’m sorry I’m just… really excited.”

“Yeah, I can tell. I’m excited, too.”

She laughed a little, “I actually noticed that already.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“M’hmm.” She experimentally moved her hand and was rewarded with a second finger pressing into her. Still felt that same delicious burn from before but she was ready for it this time and moaned as her body stretched to accommodate it.

“There you go, baby.” His hand twisted and he chuckled at the way she clawed at his arm. “I wanna feel you come on my fingers first and then we’ll get down to business, alright?”

“Alright.”

She felt him move away and realized somewhere along the line she’d closed her eyes. Her hand was suddenly empty and she barely had time to pout over it when his lips brushing against her tummy sent a jolt of anticipatory excitement running through her. She watched him ghost his lips along her body and finally giggled nervously when he nipped at the sensitive skin of her inner thigh.

He glanced up at her and smiled, “Ticklish?”

“A little.”

“Hmm.” Butch sat back on his heels and hooked his fingers into her panties, pausing when he realized she was still staring at him. The smile he blessed her with was probably supposed to be reassuring or something, but there was too much wolf in it to do anything but make her feel a little overwhelmed. She suddenly felt very vulnerable and exposed under his gaze and completely frozen. She couldn’t have moved if her life depended on it.

“You look so beautiful right now.”

“I do?” Her voice was barely a whisper, and trembled, but she managed to answer despite all that.

“Yes, you do.” He moved back up to hover over her and kissed her gently. “You okay?”

She nodded, “I kinda… feel a little um…” She couldn’t seem to catch her breath. It wasn’t hyperventilating, exactly, she was just so far beyond excited that she didn’t even have the words to express where she was at.

“That’s normal.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I feel like that, too.”

“You do?”

“M’hmm. It’s probably just easier for me ‘cause I’m in charge right now.”

"What?" Elizabeth immediately scowled up at him, “You aren’t the boss of me.”

He grinned and raised an eyebrow, “It kinda feels like I am.”

“You are not.”

“Am, too.”

“You are not!” A dark shape sailed past her head and she frowned at it. Was that her panties? Had he magicked off her underwear somehow?

He kissed her hard enough to completely distract her from the very important matter of hanging onto some semblance of autonomy. His tongue slid into her mouth at the same time his fingers eased back into her and she arched off the mattress when he pressed against a spot within her that she’d often tried to reach on her own but had never quite managed to. Sparks raced through her and she felt like she couldn’t breathe, despite the cries he was muffling with his mouth. They were much louder when he moved away to press biting kisses against her neck and she clapped her hand over her face as a last ditch attempt at quieting herself.

Butch immediately tore her hand away and pinned it to the mattress. “I wanna hear you.”

Bright color flooded into her cheeks, “But --”

He shook his head, “No. You can close your eyes if you gotta, but you’re gonna sing for me, treasure. Understand?” His eyes were so dark and fierce that she couldn’t do anything but nod. “Alright.” He kissed her and bit down just this side of too hard on her lip. “Good girl.”

She whimpered in response and closed her eyes tightly. There was just too much going on to actually watch him in action. His hand coaxing her ever closer to release. The deliciously vicious way his teeth scraped along her skin. He bit her hard enough on her hip that she knew she’d have a bruise later but she didn’t even care. She wanted it. She wanted him to leave as much evidence as he possibly could all over her body of this night so she wouldn’t be able to convince herself it was all a dream later.

“Spread your legs apart for me, sweetheart.”

His voice was so low and hoarse that she almost didn’t recognize it. She felt him nudge her thigh with his head and followed his lead. Drawing her knees up and out. She held her breath and when nothing happened, mustered up the courage to peek up at him through her lashes.

He was watching his fingers move in and out of her. Staring down at her pussy like he was starving and she was the last slice of cake in the world. She remembered his odd comment about making ‘a banquet out of that ass’ and couldn’t stifle the giggle that tumbled out of her.

His eyes met hers and he smirked, “What?”

The laughter chased away her nerves entirely. “You look hungry.”

“I am.”

He pulled his hand free and sucked her juices off his fingers, snickering at her surprised squeak and the way she covered her eyes with her hands. She really needed two more hands though because the sound of it was just as bad as actually watching him do it. There was no way in hell anybody ever needed to be that noisy about cleaning off their hand with their tongue. She was pretty positive he was doing it just to be rude.

“You taste like fuckin’ ambrosia.”

Elizabeth started giggling again and lowered her hands. “Been spending a lot of time on Mount Olympus there, Hercules?”

“You… goddammit. Why is it every time I try to be nice to you, you turn into a brat?” He grumbled as her giggling got worse and settled down between her legs. “You just wait. About an hour from now, I’m gonna spank all that right outta you.”

“I thought you said spankings were treats for brats?”

“Not the way I’m gonna do it.”

She pouted at him, “Mean.”

“Hmm, well, maybe if you’re extra good, I’ll change my mind.”

“I’m always good.”

“Bull-fuckin’-shit.” He leveled a flat look at her that only had her giggling even harder since his face was perfectly framed between her breasts and the perspective of it turned his head the same size. “That’s what you’ve got everybody else tricked into believing, but you and I know better.”

“Had you fooled, too --  _ ah!” _ He surprised her by propping her hips up with one hand. Not even his whole arm,  _ just _ his hand. They stared at each other, him still with the same cranky look on his face but she was in a visible state of shock. “Wow, I uh… did not realize you were that strong.”

A glimmer of amusement broke through, “Oh, haven’t you heard? I’m Hercules.”

She was lost in giggles again right up until his tongue slid inside her. Warm and gently probing. Elizabeth gasped at the foreign feel of it and tried to wiggle down closer. As nice as it was, she really missed how full his fingers had made her feel. Her hands found an anchor in the blanket under them and she writhed as he took his time exploring and tasting. Little shivery zings kept shooting up her thighs and she’d just about reached her limit when his lips sealed around her clit and her whole body jumped. His tongue rubbed a steady rhythm against her and his fingers worked their way back inside.

“Oh, my God. Butch… oh,  _ God, _ please. Please?”

She had no idea what she was saying. No idea what she was even doing. Her body just kept reacting and all she could do was go along with it. She felt herself tighten around his fingers. Heard his quiet murmur of encouragement. The pressure inside her was overwhelming and by the time she came, all she was aware of was the toe curling pleasure pulsing through her and a glowing sense of fulfilment that draped over her like a warm blanket after.

“My little songbird.”

Lips pressed gently against hers, so she kissed them. Fingers threaded together with her own and she held them tightly. A warm, delicious weight settled over her and she practically cooed in contentment at how safe and loved she felt. It wasn’t until after it had moved away from her that she opened her eyes and came back down to reality. Butch’s thigh was, for some reason, right by her head, so she rubbed her face against it. Couldn’t even say why. Just wanted to.

He jolted a bit and looked down at her, chuckling. “Don’t you  _ dare _ think about bitin’  _ that, _ alright?”

She blinked sleepily at him and finally realized he was naked now. Just a few inches up and further along, his cock bobbed into view. It looked a lot bigger than it had felt close up. The nerves from before snuck back in, trying to chip away at her happy bubble of satisfaction.

“What are you doing?”

“Just gotta grab a condom.”

“Oh.”

Should she say something about being on birth control? She knew she technically wasn’t supposed to be on it in the first place so maybe not. No girls in the vault were allowed to be unless there was a legitimate medical reason for it. In her case, the reason was her father was the doctor and did not want to become a grandfather any time soon. Plus, he’d never agreed with the sexist policy of issuing men condoms but not women.

Having that whole conversation would mean also asking Butch if he used condoms with everyone else and she wasn’t quite steady enough for that just yet. She just wanted this stolen moment in their makeshift Elysium to last as long as it possibly could. Thinking about practicalities and the hard truths of their circumstances might ruin things.

Anyway, he was kind of sinfully cute with the shiny foil package in his mouth as he grinned down at her. She watched him open it with his teeth and decided this was the angle all those stupid filmstrips in health class should have gone with. Emphasize how sexy it could be seeing a guy roll a condom down his cock. She especially liked the way he carelessly flipped his hair out of his eyes before snuggling up to her again. Real quality work right there. Like early Errol Flynn.

His head tilted a little as he studied her expression, “What are you thinkin’ about?”

“How you remind me of Robin Hood.”

“Robin Hood?” He chuckled, “Okay. I’ll take it.”

She murmured happily at the soft kisses he left as he nuzzled against her neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” His voice dropped to a whisper, “Now take a deep breath and relax for me.”

“Okay.” Elizabeth chewed her bottom lip while he got into position but still couldn’t stifle the anxious whine that left her as he started to breach her body.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re doin’ okay.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face, “Butch…”

“I know. I know, we’re almost… mmm,  _ fuck.  _ Fuck, you feel so good. You feel that, baby?”

“M’hmm.”

“That’s the head.” His hips rocked gently back and forth. “Goddamn. You’re still… maybe we shoulda gone with three.”

“What?”

“Hang on, sweetheart.”

He pulled away and she wasn’t proud of it but she sighed in relief when he slipped free from her. She was kind of starting to feel like maybe this was a bad idea. He’d said they’d only gotten the head in but it had sure felt like the whole enchilada from her end. She just wasn’t sure how all that was supposed to fit inside her. Where all her internal organs and stuff lived. All that real estate was already taken, right? So where the hell was it supposed to go anyway?

“Okay, here we go.”

Elizabeth watched him pour an inordinate amount of something from a bottle into his hand and rub it down his cock. “What is --” A liberal amount also got poured onto her and she yelped as the cold goo made her shiver violently. “ -- that?!”

“Lube.” He pressed his fingers inside and she immediately made a face as an unpleasant squishiness swamped over her. “It’ll make the first time easier.”

“O-oh.” He said it so matter-of-factly. She realized he’d probably performed this service for countless others and looked away. Tears were gathering in her eyes which was stupid since it’s not like she didn’t know all about him and his reputation. Not to mention his girlfriend and all. She’d been the one saying she was fine with all this. That none of it mattered because she loved him. So why did it suddenly feel like it mattered?

He wiped his hand off on the blanket and frowned a bit when he realized her knees had come together. “What’s wrong? Was it a little cold?”

She shook her head, “No, it's nothing.”

Butch huffed and turned her head back towards him. “You keep forgettin’ I can read you like a book. So let's try this again. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She felt like an absolute child as the words tumbled out, “You’ve probably done this a  _ million _ times and I’ve never done  _ anything _ and I feel like an  _ idiot _ for thinking any of this could possibly be special because this is probably just a typical Sunday for you when it’s everything to me and --”

His hand covered her mouth and he sighed. “Okay. It’s okay. Do you wanna stop?”

Elizabeth shook her head and spoke when he let her go. “I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“Hmm. Alright, well...” He kissed away the tears that had fallen along her temples. “First of all, you’re wrong.”

“What?”

“Despite everything you’ve heard, I haven’t done this a million times.”

“But --”

“I stay around second and third for most of the girls I take out.”

“O-oh.”

“And second of all, I didn’t really wanna invoke her name here or anything, but Susie’s not really big on sex. At all. Like… ever, actually.”

“Wait, what? You two have been together forever and --”

“And she’s still wearin’ her virgin pin, since you apparently never noticed.”

“She’s… you two have never…  _ never?” _

“Never. She won’t go all the way until she’s married.”

“Oh.”

“M’hmm. Now, I have had sex before. More than a few times, but it’s always been with girls who’ve already been around the block a time or two.” He shrugged and reached between them to set himself at her entrance again. “So this is very special to me for three reasons.”

“Three reasons?”

“One, I’ve never been with a virgin before so there's a lot of new territory here I gotta navigate.” The head of his cock slipped inside her and this time the resistance was barely there at all. “I only know about the lube thing ‘cause a lotta guys like to run their mouths.”

“Oh.”

“Two, I’ve never been with somebody who actually loved me.” He kissed her and braced most of his weight on his right elbow while his left hand held her hip in place. “Nobody’s ever cared about me the way you do. Ever. That makes tonight a once in a lifetime event for me.” His hips slowly rolled forward and he smiled as her eyes widened. “Still feeling okay?”

“M’hmm.” It kind of felt amazing, actually. Every time she thought she couldn't possibly feel any fuller, steady pressure in all directions just kept filling her more. He pulled out of her just a little and she whined until he pushed back inside. Then it turned into a soft moan that had him chuckling.

“Three, it’s  _ you _ and  _ I love you. _ So this right here? This moment right now?” His weight seemed to ripple in a wave over her as he finally slid home and grunted as their hips ground together. “This is  _ perfect.” _

Elizabeth wrapped her legs and arms around him to keep him still. It took her a moment to realize he was trembling, too. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. You?”

“M’hmm.” She hugged him closer, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, treasure.”

She closed her eyes and focused on getting over the weirdness of how everything felt. Because it definitely felt weird. There was just no getting around that. It wasn’t uncomfortable anymore, thanks to the now very warm goop forming a puddle beneath her, but it was  _ weird. _ Amata had never mentioned that. All she’d ever really said about her first time with Freddie was that it had happened and a lot of it was awkward. But now, a few weeks out from that very special birthday celebration, they couldn’t seem to stop doing it so obviously the weirdness had to go away at a certain point, right?

Elizabeth took a deep breath and shifted her hips, just to see if that fixed anything. It didn’t, but the way every muscle Butch owned seemed to involuntarily flex after was extremely interesting. So was the sudden, ragged breath he drew against her neck. It kind of had her feeling a bit like Diana Dors again. Powerful and tempting. She bit her lip in concentration, rocking her hips up towards him and he actually whimpered. Honest to God  _ whimpered. _ She, Elizabeth Booth, lifetime member in good standing of the nerd herd, had made a man like Butch DeLoria whimper.

It was a heady,  _ heady _ feeling.

She did it again and the hand braced near her head clutched at the sheets. One more time and not only did he sink his teeth into her shoulder and growl, but it actually felt  _ good. _ All of it. Her nails dug into his back as she shivered.

“Butch? Please?”

He licked the teeth marks he’d left on her skin before raising his head. “You’re killin’ me here. You know that, right?”

She pouted, “Why am I killing you?”

“You feel too damn good.” His brows drew together as he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “And then the way you move… like you were born to just… it ain’t fair.” He laughed and it sounded downright desperate. “I’m tryin’ so hard to go slow and careful and everything about you is screamin’ at me to fuck you as hard as I can.”

“So why don’t you?”

“I don’t wanna hurt --”

“It doesn’t hurt.” She smiled at him when he finally opened his eyes. “It really doesn’t. See?” Her hips rolled against his and she laughed at his pained expression. “Dance with me, baby.”

He blinked at her and finally grinned a little, “Jesus.”

“What?”

“That look you just had on your face was downright wicked, and you weren’t even actin’ this time.”

“Maybe that’s just what you do to me.”

“Yeah?” He gently untangled her arms from around his neck and pinned her hands with his. “Wanna see what you do to me?”

He didn’t even give her time to answer. His lips met hers and she felt his hands tighten around her own as he began to move. Careful, deliberate strokes with a vicious swerve at the end that had her head swimming. She didn’t even notice he’d let go of her hands until he rose up and she felt him moving her legs from around his waist to over his shoulders. He was watching her with a fairly wicked grin of his own once she convinced her eyes to open.

She smiled back, a little shy now that there was so much space between them. He just looked so damn handsome. With his hopelessly messed up hair and those gleaming baby blues staring into her soul. His hands couldn’t seem to stop sliding along the skin on her thighs in an absentminded kind of way. It probably should have tickled but it just made her ache to have them everywhere at once.

“I wish I had a camera right now.”

“Me, too.”

He laughed, “Can you keep your legs like this for me?”

“M’hmm.” She crossed her feet and shivered as his hands slid under her hips.

“Good girl.”

Warmth bloomed in her chest and seemed to spread all over at the words. Were they always going to do that? Just eight letters and she was instantly rendered a braindead idiot. That hardly seemed fair. She needed to figure out the secret phrase that would do the same thing to him. Level the playing field a bit.

He pulled her up just a few inches and she was puzzling the move over when he scooted forward a bit and she gasped. This new angle meant his cock was pressed right up against her g-spot in a delicious kind of way. She closed her eyes again at the onslaught of sensation as he rocked against her. Every slow pass pushed her ever so slightly closer to the breaking point. If his ragged breathing and the increasingly tight grip of his hands was any indication, he was fast approaching it himself.

It felt amazing. Better than that, even. She’d never known she could feel this good, but something in her was screaming that it could get better. She wanted more, even if she wasn’t sure what the more was yet. Her hands found her breasts but that wasn’t enough. It just didn’t feel as good when she did it. She opened her eyes, determined to ask him for help of some kind, but got a little lost watching him.

His head was thrown back, eyes squeezed shut as he worried his lower lip. She could probably write an entire symphony on the beauty of his shoulders alone. Every muscle bunching and releasing as he moved. He was glorious and she had to tell him. He’d want to know, wouldn’t he? She’d want to know something like that.

“Butch?” She could barely get his name out with all the panting and all the pretty, eloquent things she’d wanted to tell him got completely obliterated by the intensity of his stare when he finally looked at her. All that was left in its wake was the truth. “I need you.”

He shrugged free of her legs and surged up to kiss her. A hand caught in her hair as his other arm wrapped around her, keeping her close to the same angle as before as he suddenly drove into her, hard and passionate. There was something in the possessive, desperate crush of his mouth against hers that had her melting around him. She surrendered herself completely to the moment. Her arms circling his neck as her legs wrapped around his hips. There was only one thing that could make the moment more perfect and once it popped into her head, she couldn’t help but be bothered by it.

Elizabeth turned her head to break away from his kiss and moaned when his mouth immediately seized on her neck. “Baby?”

“Mmm?”

“You always use a condom, right?”

“Uh…” He ground against her and groaned, “Goddamn, you feel good.”

“Baby?”

“What?”

“Have you always used condoms?”

“Um…” He blinked at her in confusion for a moment before kissing her hard again, like he just couldn’t help himself. “Yeah. Why?”

“Take it off.”

“What?!”

“Please?”

He gaped at her for a few seconds before an eager grin bloomed, “Yeah. Yeah, sure. Shit. Don’t gotta tell me twice.” He slipped free from her body and wiggled a hand between them. “Lady wants it off, I take it off. That’s just the kinda guy I am. One hundred percent dedicated to your happiness, sweetheart. Anything for my girl. That’s what I always say.”

She giggled and watched him flick the wilted latex across the room. So he babbled when he was really excited. That was probably good to know.

Still, no matter how worked up he was, he paused and stared her down hard. “You’re sure?”

Her hand pushed his out of the way and wrapped around his cock. “I’m sure.”

She watched a kaleidoscope of emotions play out on his face as she gently guided him back inside. Disbelief and wonder that blossomed into rapturous anguish as he sank into her heat. He buried his face against her neck and something that almost sounded like a sob escaped him once they were fully joined.

Her hands never stopped moving. Soothing the tense muscles in his back while she pressed kisses against his shoulder. His arms slipped under her and held her tightly against him while he shivered.

“Holy fuck.”

“M’hmm.”

“It’s almost too much.” His voice was a hoarse, strained whisper.

Elizabeth smiled and nuzzled his ear, “It’s perfect.”

“I dunno how long I can last.”

“That’s okay.”

He shook his head, “But it’s your first time. I wanted to make sure you --”

“Shh.” She grazed his earlobe with her teeth the same way he’d done to hers the night before and his whole body shuddered. “Just come inside me. That’s what I want.”

He went so still that she almost thought he’d gone into some kind of shock. Then, slowly, one of his arms slipped lower, propping her hips up again, while his other hand wrapped around her shoulder. She whimpered when his teeth set into her skin but then he was moving and all she could do was dig her nails into his back and cry out his name. Without the extra slipperiness provided by the condom, there was finally genuine friction between them and it was overwhelmingly electric. Little jolts of pleasure that eventually came together to become an all-encompassing wave that threatened to drown her. She was close to the edge when his rhythm faltered and he drove into her with a few rough, sloppy strokes before she felt him swell and twitch inside her.

“Elizabeth. Oh, God, sweetheart.”

The words fell from his lips like a prayer and she shivered and pulled him closer, relishing the feel of him pouring into her. He blindly searched for her mouth and kissed her breathless, bracing himself on one arm to wriggle a hand between them. She moaned as he rubbed soft circles over her clit until she eventually came, too. Gentle pulses that rippled through her and left her trembling and strangely emotional. Her breath shuddered out of her and their kiss turned from passionate to sweetly tender in an instant. It was enough to have tears escaping from behind her eyelids and she worried he’d get the wrong idea, but when he pulled back, his eyes were overbright with tears of their own.

They smiled at each other and managed a few more kisses before the giggling started.

“Can’t believe we just did that.”

She snorted, “You should’ve seen your face when I told you to take the condom off.”

“Hey! I was shocked!”   


“Yeah, I could tell.”

“That was… _shit.”_

“Oh, come on. There’s gotta be a nicer word for it than _ that.” _

He laughed, “Nah, I meant like… that was so amazing I don’t even  _ have _ a word for it.”

“Splendiferous.”

“Awesome sauce.”

“Magnificent.”   


_“Perfect.”_ He smiled down at her and kissed her on the nose. “It was goddamn perfect.”

“Yeah, it kinda was.”

“So…”

“So?”

“So was this like… a good day for that or what?”

“A good day? What are you talking about?”   


“Like, y’know, some girls track shit and they know when good days to have relations are.”

“Relations?” Her eyebrow went up, “Is that what we’re calling it?”

“It just sounded more respectful in my head than fuckin’.”

“I’m fine with calling it fucking. In fact, I’m more fine with fucking than with _relations.”_

“Oh, okay.”

“And I don’t keep track of days or anything.”

“Oh.”

Elizabeth drank in the growing concern on his face with amusement, even though that was probably a dick move right now. “I’m on birth control.”

“What? For real?”

“Yup.”

“I thought they only put married ladies on that or whatever. Like, if they’ve already popped out a bunch of kids.”

“Well, technically they’re supposed to, but I’m a special exemption.”

“An exemption?”

“M’hmm.”

He frowned at her thoughtfully and she could actually see the moment when the little light bulb would’ve clicked on if he’d been a cartoon character. “Ooooh, ‘cause your dad’s the doc.”

“Right.”

“That’s, uh… handy.”

“M’hmm.”

“So, we can do that again?”

She stretched and finally let him go, “We can do that whenever you want to, baby.”

Butch grinned, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“How about in five minutes?”

“Sure, but I might need a drop cloth at that point.”

“What?”

“I’m very, very squishy right now.”

“Oh. Oh, right. Okay. Hang on. I gotcha.” He pulled away from her with obvious reluctance and disappeared into the bathroom. “I brought some washcloths and stuff.”

“That was thoughtful.”

“Thanks.” He came out and paused in the doorway, eyes hungrily roving over her. “You look really good like that.”

She smirked, “Like that? You mean like... freshly fucked?”

A surprised snort left him and he nodded, “Yeah. That’s exactly what I mean.” He shook his head as she giggled. “That mouth. Goddamn.”

“I’m probably not doing a very good job living up to that classy dame crown you gave me.”

“Nah, you still are. I’ve heard shit, y’know, about classy girls.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

“Well…” He knelt down next to her and set a hand on her knee to open her legs. “I’ve heard they’re all secretly sex fiends.”

She nodded, “Yes. That’s true. We all are. Every single one of us.” The wet rag he’d brought was wonderfully warm and she murmured happily when he carefully wiped her off. “What else?”

“You’re all into freaky shit.”

“Hmm. Define freaky shit.”

“Y’know, that kinky stuff. You like gettin’ tied up and spanked and choked or whatever.”

Elizabeth made a face, “I dunno about being choked, but… everything else, yes.”

“It ain’t like  _ real _ chokin’.” He tossed the rag and put his hand around her neck, lightly squeezing before letting go. “It’s like that, see?”

“Oh.” She blinked at him and tried to not think too hard about the heated pulse from between her legs that was now doing its utmost to distract her. “Maybe… maybe okay on the choking.”

“Hmm.”

“Anything else?”

“Sure. You’re all demanding, bossy little brats.”

She scowled and turned her head away from him. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’m sure you do.” He chuckled at her irritated huff and sat down next to her. “Are you thirsty or anything?”

“Maybe.”

“Aw, don’t be like that.” Butch tugged her upright and kissed her cheek, “You know I love you bossy.”

“Hmph.”

“I brought champagne.”

Elizabeth blinked and finally looked at him again, “Champagne?”

“And strawberries.”

“And strawberries?”

“Yeah.” He pulled out a small basket from under the coffee table. “Saw it in a movie. The couple went on a honeymoon and that’s what they had delivered to their room. Champagne and strawberries.”

She had no idea how he could just sit there naked as a jaybird and have a normal conversation, but she definitely could not. Her eyes just kept darting places that they needn’t be. She grabbed a nearby blanket and tucked it around herself for modesty’s sake and hoped he’d take the hint and do the same.

He didn’t, of course, and her face was burning by the time he wrestled the bottle open and handed her a glass of bubbly.

“Somethin’ wrong?”

“Nope.”

“You’ve got a weird look on your face.”

“You’re just sitting there like you’re totally not naked.”

“Oh. Right. Ha.” He finally moved a corner of her blanket into his lap. “Sorry. I kinda forgot you’re not used to… sorry.”

“It’s okay. I just couldn’t stop staring. I was getting really disappointed in myself.”

He grinned, “Hey, you wanna look, you look, alright? No shame in that.”

“I’m not ashamed, I just… thought I was more polite than that.”

“Heh.”

She watched the bubbles dance up the sides of the glass and smiled. “I like how you picked a theme and ran with it.”

“What?”

“The whole honeymoon thing.”

“Oh, well, that’s more ‘cause uh…” He tossed his own drink back like it was a shot of something and immediately winced. “Shit. That was a bad idea. The bubbles burn.”

“I think you’re supposed to sip it.”

“Right. Right, sorry.” He set his glass down and ran a hand nervously through his hair. “See, the thing is, I’m not gonna be able to give you everything you deserve.”

“What?”

“Y’know, the ring and a family and… I mean, we can’t even let people know we’re together at all. And I realized that all this might seem okay right now, ‘cause we’re young and all, but someday all your friends are gonna be married and have kids. Someday  _ I’m _ gonna have to have kids. But I won’t be able to give you… I mean, I  _ wanna _ give you everything. I want to go ask your dad for permission and all that jazz, but I  _ can’t. _ And that sucks.” He sighed, “There’s gonna come a day where you’re gonna hate me for all this. You’re gonna feel like you’ve wasted your life on nothin’. I guess I thought that maybe if I made every moment we have together extra special, I could put that day off… that probably sounds stupid though.”

“It does, actually, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. Look, I’m not an idiot, okay? I understand. I know you can’t get away from the Macks. I know someday Allen is going to force you to marry Susie and she’ll get to be Mrs. DeLoria instead of me. I know, and yeah, it definitely sucks, but not because I’m just jealous or whatever. It sucks because your future is being written for you by people who don’t care about what you want. It sucks because we would  _ all  _ be happier if we could just be with who we want to be with. It even sucks for Susie. It’s not fair that she has to be married to a man who doesn’t want to be married to her. Her dad is hurting all of us. That’s what sucks. I don’t care about being married or not and I don’t even know if I ever want kids at all to be honest, but I do want you. And if the only way I can have you is in secret then that’s just how it has to be, I guess. Are there going to be times when I’m sad about it or feel a little jealous? Sure. Of course there are. But it’s worth it. It’s all worth it.” She took his hand and smiled at him, “The way I feel when we’re together makes it worth it.”

“You really think so?”

“I really do.”

“I still don’t feel like I deserve you.”

“Hmm. Well…” She finished her glass and set it aside. “That means you’re in debt, right?”

“What?”

“You’ve obviously stolen my heart and now you owe me for that theft.”

“Actually, yeah, that kinda feels exactly right.”

“I guess you’ll just have to work it off somehow. Might I suggest manual labor?” She grinned at him and he laughed at her cheeky expression.

“You gonna make me paint all those stage sets from now on?”

“Oh! You know, that does actually sound a lot more useful than what I was thinking.”

“Oh, yeah? What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking we could meet up at least once every day and you could work off your debt to society by… how’d you say it? Ripping all my clothes off, putting me on my knees and fucking me silly. That’s how it went, right?”

“You and that goddamned mouth.” He grabbed her and laid back down with her sprawled across his chest. “That’s gonna get you in trouble some day.”

“You think?”

“You keep on and you're gonna find out the hard way what happens when you push a man too far, treasure.”

She shivered, “God, why does that sound so good?”

“Heh.”

Elizabeth snuggled against him. She was actually a little chilled now that things had cooled down and she was grateful for his warmth. Also for how he smelled. Most of the cologne seemed to have worn off and underneath, he just smelled delicious. Salty with a pleasant kind of musk that actually made her mouth water.

That was dumb. _Super_ dumb, even. Was she really so into him that even his man-stink was attractive? Yes, apparently. Was she ever going to admit it out loud? God, she hoped not.

It wasn’t like she had a lot of dignity left here anyway. She should probably try to hold on to what little remained, right?

The hand skimming along her shoulder and arm paused, “What’re you thinking about?”

“I really love how you smell. It’s tasty.” Goddammit.

He chuckled and pulled their rumpled blanket up over her, “Oh, yeah?”

Her face burned but she nodded anyway, “M’hmm.”

What was it about him that demanded compulsive honesty from her? With anybody else, she’d have made a joke or something. Maybe it was the quietly desperate tone in his voice? He just sounded so trusting and wounded every time he asked what was on her mind. Almost as if he was sure she’d lie and was bracing himself against it. He’d told her he didn’t have a lot of honesty in his life but she was kind of starting to think she might be the _ only _ honest thing he had. He trusted her when he couldn’t trust anyone else. She couldn’t very well repay that with sarcasm and witty quips.

So what if she made a fool of herself here with him? He was a fool for her, too, wasn’t he? Quite literally endangering his own life just to be with her. A little embarrassment was nothing compared to that.

“You smell pretty tasty yourself.”

If she smiled any wider, she was going to break her face. She hid against his chest and giggled. “Thanks.”

His hand slipped into her hair, “You goin’ shy on me now?”

“A little.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I’m just… really, really happy and it’s a little scary.”

“Scary how?”

“It makes me feel vulnerable. I guess I’m not really used to that. I run away from it, usually. It’s why I don’t perform onstage or do solos or let people see me dance. You have to let yourself be vulnerable for that and it’s scary.”

“But you can be vulnerable with me?”

“I hope I can.” She curled up tighter, feeling suddenly very small and defenseless. “If all this turns out to be some kind of terrible prank or something, I’m probably going to die of shame.”

“Hey, no. No, that’s not… look, I know I haven’t given you a lot of reasons to trust me over the years. I’ve been a real asshole to you. I’ve got no excuses. Back when we were kids, I was just… messed up and angry all the time and I took it out on you. And later… it…” He sighed, “Later, I thought I was protectin’ you by bein’ a jerk.”

“What?”

“See… the first time I uh, got involved with the Macks, I was barely thirteen. You remember how in junior high, I shot up, right?”   


“Right. You barely came up to my shoulder and it felt like the next week you were bigger than me.”

“Yeah, well… Allen noticed, too. See, before that, he had Ma doin’ shit for him. Mostly spyin’ and the like. He used me as leverage against her, but then I grew up enough to be useful to him, so he started playin’ it the other way. I had… I  _ have _ a lotta guilt over the shit they used me to make her do, so I told him if they promised to leave her alone I’d do whatever they wanted. And for a few months, that wasn’t so bad. I got extra rations and the Snakes got offered an unofficial position as the Overseer’s goon squad. They didn’t even make me really hurt anybody. I just had to show up and look scary and bully people. Collect the pizzo and bounce. No big deal.”

“Pizzo?”

“Yeah. Pizzo’s like uh… money people pay so the Macks don’t bother them.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, like I said, it wasn’t so bad. I mean, I hated doin’ it and I felt bad or whatever, but it was doable. Even when Allen said I had to ask Susie to go steady, I didn’t really care. See, that was the thing. I didn’t care about  _ anything _ other than keepin’ Ma safe.”

“Right.”

“And then… that damn twirl of yours. I can still remember it like it just happened. Coach Lewis was settin’ up the volleyball nets. Everybody was hangin’ out in little groups. You and Freddie and Amata were together, like always. Wally had made some joke. He’d always called him ‘Freddie the Fruit’ on account of him bein’ artistic and whatever. So I looked over and you’d just taken your hair down. I’d never seen it down before and it was like, I finally realized you were actually a girl. I dunno what you all were laughin’ about, but you did that twirl, gigglin’ the whole way through it and… that was it. I felt like somebody had hit me in the head with a brick or somethin’. Paulie said you looked pretty and Wally immediately started givin’ him a hard time and I realized if anybody ever knew how I felt about you, they’d use you against me. You’d just be another pawn they could push around. You might even, y’know, get hurt. The way they’d hurt Ma. I didn’t want that. It scared the shit outta me. So I started really playin’ up hatin’ you. And I’m sorry for it. Especially ‘cause I didn’t realize what that was doin’ to you.”

“What it did to me? What are you talking about?”

“You used to dance for people. And sing. I remember. I remember goin’ to the auditorium as a kid and you were dancin’ on stage. It was at Christmas. Ma took me as a special treat. Uh… somethin’ about rats.”

_ “The Nutcracker.” _

“Right. You played the little girl.”

“Clara.”

“Right… and then one day, you just stopped performin’. I didn’t even know you still danced until you told me.”

“That didn’t have anything to do with you.”

“Really? 'Cause I feel like it did. We hassled you all the damn time. Kept makin’ fun of you and your friends. Kept messin’ with your shit. When I saw you on stage last night, you just… it looked  _ right. _ That’s where you belong and I realized it had been forever since I saw you like that. On a stage, under a spotlight, bein’ amazing.”

Elizabeth sighed, “My stage fright has nothing to do with you. The reason I stopped is… when I was little, people focused on my performance, you know? What I  _ did, _ which, honestly, I’m fine with. Art is a craft and I’m fine with being judged on my abilities. But, once I started to grow up, the attention shifted. Instead of people being focused on the actual dance or whatever, it felt like they focused on  _ me. _ How I looked. How my body looked. I felt like that’s all anyone cared about. It made me really anxious and I got more and more critical of myself. I started spending every waking hour in the practice room. I danced until my feet bled and then just kept going. Ginger Rodgers always kept going, so I figured I could, too. Dad kept freaking out on me about it and somehow that just made it worse. One day, I thought to myself, if I just weighed less, like I did when I was a kid, it would be easier on my feet. So… I just kinda stopped eating. That lasted a few weeks before I collapsed and woke up in the clinic. Dad was… livid. At first, he wanted me to stop doing all of it. No more music or dance or anything. He said I had an obsession with perfection that was unhealthy so I should quit cold turkey before it killed me. I told him that without my art, I might as well be dead anyway. Eventually Jonas had to intervene and, in the end, we made a deal. I said I would take a summer off from dancing and focus on my music instead. I had to come in and talk to Jonas twice a week for therapy and I  _ had _ to eat. He said that part was non-negotiable. That he didn’t care what I ate, but I had to eat  _ something.” _

“Is that why you still don’t eat right now?”

“Probably.” She shrugged, “It’s hard, once you’re out of the habit, to remember to eat when you’re supposed to. You wouldn’t think it is, but it is. That’s kind of when I started eating a bunch of junk, too. I kinda… wanted to push Dad and see how much he’d let me get away with, so I ate nothing but candy and ice cream and waffles or whatever. But he was just so happy to see me eat anything that he let it all slide. By the time the summer was over, I weighed more than I ever had and none of my performance costumes fit. The idea of getting up on stage and having everyone laugh at how fat I’d gotten was…” She shook her head, “It was awful. I couldn’t do it. That’s when I stopped performing.”

“You have never in your life been fat.”

“I know. I know that. Logically, I know. I’m… I mean, at my physicals, I’m always at the low end of healthy for my height and age and whatever. But, when I look at myself, I don’t see that. That’s actually part of why I… uh… well, okay. When I turned eighteen, I had a bunch of credits saved up and then Dad gave me some on top of that as a birthday present. So I went to go buy myself something grown up and all, but I couldn’t find anything that seemed mature enough, if that makes sense? I just… I wanted it to be my first  _ adult  _ purchase. I was actually on my way out of the store when a couple of ladies came out of the lingerie section laughing over something scandalous one of them had picked out and I thought… of course.  _ Lingerie.  _ That’s  _ perfect. _ So, I bought a bunch and thought I’d try embracing what I look like, but it’s still kind of… like, I feel kinda powerful wearing the stuff because it's fancy, but I still don’t like looking at myself in the mirror like I thought I would. It was probably stupid thinking a bandaid solution like that would miraculously fix everything.”

“You bought a  _ bunch?” _

“Yeah.”

“What’s a bunch, exactly?”

“Uh… well… if I were stuck on a desert island and I’d packed all of my underwear, I wouldn’t have to worry about washing anything for at least three weeks.”

“Three weeks… that’s… twenty-one? You have  _ twenty-one _ sets of --”

“Twenty-five, actually. It just seemed like a nice, round number to go with.”

“Holy shit.”

“I know, I know. It was silly to blow my entire savings on --”

“You shut your goddamn mouth right now! That was… that was a  _ hell  _ of an idea!”

She laughed, “Oh, you really think so, huh?”

“Yeah! Good for your self-esteem and whatnot! You were really thinkin’ that day.  _ Smart.  _ You are one smart cookie.”

“Hmm, you know, you’re a surprisingly supportive boyfriend.”

“Yeah, exactly. That’s it exactly. I’m supportin’ your very good decision.”

“And I’m sure it’s got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you’ll be seeing me in the stuff.”

“Nah, I mean… I wouldn’t say no to seein’ you model a few things --”

“Uh-huh.”

“-- but I just think anything that makes my girl happy is somethin’ I should support unconditionally.”

“Mmm.”

“They uh… are they all as nice as the little black number you had on earlier?”

“No.”

“Aw.”

“Some might be nicer.”

“Baby, you’re  _ killin’ _ me.”

“I mean, I dunno. I probably need someone with an objective eye to issue a ruling on that.”

He grinned at her and pulled her closer, “Smart. Cookie.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.” His grin faded a bit, “Hey… you know I didn’t mean anything by that crack about the potatoes, right?”

“Potatoes?”

“On Friday. When I said you were gonna get fat if you kept eatin’.”

“Oh. Yeah, I know. It’s not a big deal. It didn’t hurt my feelings or anything.”

“Okay. If I’d known you’ve got the thing about food, I never woulda --”

“Butch, it’s really okay. I don’t have a thing about food. Anymore, anyway. I eat when I’m hungry and I eat what I want. It’s fine.”

“I still kinda feel like an asshole.”

“Well, I feel like you should be used to that feeling by now, but in this case, you were only an asshole for stealing my French fry.”

_ “Brat.”  _


	6. Whenever we want something from somebody or when we want to hide something or pretend, we're acting.

“I wish we could always stay here.”

Elizabeth hummed, “We’d starve eventually.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah.”

Yeah, she did. Outside the door, real life was waiting in the wings to swoop in with its billions of worries and dangers. If people found out about any of this, both their lives would be ruined. Maybe even worse. God only knew what the Macks would do to Butch if they found out he was in an actual relationship and she highly doubted they’d be inclined to let her involvement slide. Susie had always been scary enough with the passive aggressive comments and sly bullying but now that she knew how violent her family was, she was at a whole other level. Somewhere between Joan Crawford and little Rhoda from  _ the Bad Seed. _

It was hard to care about all that right now though. Butch’s heartbeat in her ear while her fingers skated through the light scattering of hair on his chest was doing a pretty solid job of keeping her mostly braindead. Not to mention the arm wrapped around her while his hand wandered along the curve of her waist and hip made the rest of the world seem miles away. She watched their shadows dance in the flickering, still foreign candlelight and figured it wasn’t her fault she felt so enthralled. Everything in this little slice of heaven was just so different from everything she’d ever known.

The golden light they were bathed in was the complete opposite from the cold, harsh fluorescents in the vault. Only the stage lights came close to duplicating it. The air smelled like roses and passion. It was warmer here than anywhere else, even her own bathroom after a hot shower, and she loved it. She’d always hated how chilly their home was. Everything here was so soft and gentle and  _ not _ like the vault. It was a little like how she’d always imagined being in Wonderland would feel.

“You’re awful quiet.”

“Hmm.”

Butch tipped her chin up and stared at her with worried eyes. “You aren’t regrettin’ all this already, are you?”

She smiled back, “Of course not.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Oh… you sleepy?”

“Well, it is getting close to my bedtime but no, I’m definitely not sleepy.” It took effort, but she managed to crawl overtop of him and kissed him while his hands slid down to her hips, fingers digging in and grumbling when she didn’t let him guide her down towards his cock. “Now who needs to learn patience?”

“You can’t let a guy into paradise and then expect him to not wanna stay there, treasure.”

“Paradise, huh?”

“Yeah.” His teeth caught in her lip and carefully tugged her closer before he murmured against her mouth. “It felt so good bein’ inside you. Better than anything.”

She shivered as his hands snuck around to knead her ass and nodded, “M’hmm.”

“Don’t you wanna have another dance? You can lead this time.”

“That’s a pretty tempting offer, but I was kind of hoping to… uh…” Shit. How was a good way to phrase this? She couldn’t really think of a  _ polite _ way to say it. “See, I’ve never… well, you know, I’ve never done anything with anybody before.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But… girls talk. Just like guys talk, I guess.” Being this close to his face while he kept sneaking little nibbles at her lip was making it harder to get out, so she sat up. His eyes immediately dropped to her breasts and she laughed. At least this way he might not catch how awkward she felt right now.

“Sure.” He rubbed her hips like he was apologizing for having to leave and skirted his hands up to play with her nipples.

Elizabeth bit back a cry as shivers zipped down her spine and shut her eyes to focus. “I mean, I only ever really talk to Amata, but still…”

“Hmm.”

“...uh… yeah. So, there’s this thing that she’s mentioned a few times. A thing guys really like, I guess.”

“Okay.”

She felt her toes curl until she nearly got a cramp in her arches. The things he could do with just his thumbs should not be legal. She felt herself leaning into his touch without even meaning too and finally just blurted the words out. “Can you show me how blowjobs work?”

His hands abruptly stopped moving and the look of utter disbelief on his face when she opened her eyes had her giggling. “Excuse me?”

“Blowjobs 101. That’s what I’m asking for.”

“Are you seriously tryin’ to tell me Little Miss Stick-up-her-ass Almodovar is givin’ Freddie  _ Froot-Loops _ Gomez blowjobs?!”

“Uh… yeah, I guess?” She shrugged, “I mean, I don’t really like to think about it much since I gotta see Freddie  _ all the time, _ you know, but isn’t that kind of a regular boyfriend-girlfriend thing?”

“Un-fuckin’-believable. That nerd’s gettin’ more action than every other guy in this joint.”

Elizabeth watched him angrily mutter to himself with a slightly raised eyebrow that climbed higher the longer his grousing went on. “Baby?”

“What?”

“Can you stop being jealous for a minute and show me how to do it?”

“I ain’t jealous of… oh.” He blinked, “You’re serious?”

“Yup.”

“You really wanna do that?”

“I really wanna  _ try _ to do that, yes.”

“You don't have to or anything. I’m not the kinda guy who expects that kinda uh… service.”

“M’hmm, just like I’m not the kind of girl who expects an endless stream of presents.”

He huffed, “A muffin basket and some flowers is not an  _ endless stream.” _

“And a milkshake the day before.”

“Yeah, and? What? You got a problem with bein' spoiled?”

_ “And _ those were all very sweet and I especially enjoyed most of the muffins, but I don’t… I mean, I’m not… I don’t forgive people because they shower me with stuff. I’m not here tonight because you sent me things.”

“Oh.”

“I’m here because I love you and, to be perfectly honest, the roses and muffins just kind of made me more aggravated with you in the moment. I felt a little insulted that you were just trying to buy my forgiveness like that.”

“Oh.” He frowned, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Butch sighed heavily, “There’s a whole new set of rules here I gotta learn.”

“There aren’t any rules at all, silly. We aren’t about rules.”

“We ain’t?”

“Nope. We do what we want.” She grinned, “So? You want to teach me how to do this or should I just embarrass myself by making an attempt? ‘Cause, see, what’s bothering me is, I have no idea why blowing on some guy’s uh… stuff, would feel good. What  _ is _ that? I just play it like a clarinet or something?”

He snorted and started laughing,  _ “No! _ Oh, God. You really dunno shit.”

“I really don’t! So help me here! Sheesh.”

“Help  _ you? _ Pssh, I’m helpin’ myself. Gonna actually blow on it… the hell is wrong with you?”

“What do you do then?!”

“You suck on it, dingbat.”

She wrinkled her nose, “Then why isn’t it called a suckjob?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?! Nobody consulted me when they were namin’ shit.”

“Well, if they did such a lousy job of naming it, you can’t fault me for not knowing what the heck to actually do!”

“Amata never once mentioned --”

“No! Anyway, whenever she starts with details, I usually do this.” She stuck her fingers in her ears and closed her eyes. “And then I go ‘la la la la la la la!’ until she stops.”

“Ha.”

“Yeah, no, it’s totally gross. I mean, Freddie’s my friend, too, you know? I don’t wanna know what they’re doing together when I’m not looking. Yuck.”

He chuckled, “So I’m guessin’ you aren’t gonna tell her about any of this?”

“No! Of course not.”

“Not even gonna tell her a little bit and change a few names?”

She sighed, “No, I kinda can’t. Freddie already noticed you were looking at me and together they were able to figure out you were the guy who kissed me and then ran off, so… the less they know the better.”

“Shit, they know about that?”

“Well… to be fair, I didn’t know what a huge deal all that was back then, so --”

“Yeah. Yeah, no, of course not.” He chewed his lip, “You don’t think they’ll snitch, do you?”

“No, they both said I should just ignore you and avoid you at all costs. Amata even said I should move away.”

“Pfft. I wish we could.”

“Right?” She shrugged, “I’m pretty sure so long as we keep acting like we hate each other in public, it’ll be alright.”

Butch sat up on his elbows and smoothed her hair with his hand. “Sure, that's easy to say, but how the hell am I supposed to be mean to this face now? Do you have any idea how hard it already was to act like a jackass all the time around you when this was all unrequited? Now I know what you taste like and feel like and… I’mma be honest here, it’s kinda hard to even hear your voice anymore without thinkin’ about how good it sounds singin' my name. And now I gotta act like none of that matters. It’s gonna suck.”

“It’ll probably be a  _ little _ easier when we both aren’t naked.”

“I doubt it.”

“We could just ignore each other.”

“Yeah, except I’ve been tryin’ to do that for years and it hasn’t happened yet.”

Elizabeth laughed, “Then… uh… hmm.”

“Yeah.”

“I could give you acting lessons.”

“Ha. You might have to or we could boned here.”

She grinned, “You’re right. We  _ could _ be boned here.” A few scoots backward and she was sitting on her heels between his knees, “So? Lesson one. Let’s go.”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the little grin that peeked out. “You’re gonna be teacher’s pet here, too, huh?”

“Always.”

“Heh. Okay, well… I’ve never actually had to walk somebody through one before.”

“Right.”

“So how about you start and I’ll, y’know, help you along when you need it.”

“Okay. Kinesthetic method. I can do that.”

“What?”

“It means hands-on.”

“Oh. Right, exactly.” He laid back down and got comfortable before lifting his head and staring at her hard. “Just… watch the teeth, alright?”

“Okay. Yeah, no, that’s… that totally makes sense. No teeth. Okay.” She waited for him to lay back and leaned over him, trying to find a good position to tackle everything from.

“Just take your time. Explore the space.”

She laughed and shook her head, “Don’t quote Mr. Holden here.”

“Alright, alright.”

“It’s hard enough to not giggle right now.”

“Pfft.”

It really was. Genitalia was ridiculous on pretty much every creature that had it, but human males were particularly weird. Especially this close up. Her eyes flicked back to his and she frowned. “Can you not watch me right now?”

He pouted, “But that’s like, the best part.”

“Just… not right now?”

“Fine.” A long suffering sigh escaped him and he shut his eyes. “Big baby with your stage fright.”

It was like he wanted her to bite him. It really was. She settled for sticking her tongue out since he couldn’t see anyway, and refocused on the task at hand. Textbooks just didn’t really prepare you for the real thing. She knew what everything was called and how it all worked and whatever, but in person it was so much more… real? Well, of course it was real.

This was silly. She’d already touched it and it had already been inside of her. She was letting… she narrowed her eyes and considered it carefully. Seven inches, maybe, of some guy’s bologna tube intimidate her. That was just dumb.

Elizabeth’s hand wrapped around the base and the way he sucked in a quick breath made her grin. The shaft wasn’t even that sensitive so far as she knew. She’d read about there being thousands of nerves in the head though. So that’s where the focus should be, right? Probably? Then again, when he went down on her, he certainly took his time ‘exploring the space’ as it were. He didn’t just go right to the main attraction.

Balls were sensitive, too, right? That’s why a good swift kick there was always the go-to move for a girl when a guy got a little too frisky. Heck, it didn’t even have to be a kick. She’d personally watched Wally take a softball right to the groin, promptly fall over and throw up. They were _delicate…_ and decidedly weird. Like two hardboiled eggs in a coin purse. She almost laughed out loud at the idea but bit her lip to stifle it.

Even completely ignorant of everything surrounding this particular mating ritual, she knew guys did not appreciate their equipment being laughed at.

Honestly, she kind of felt bad staring right at them. She’d kneed Butch square in the nuts more than a few times over the years. Usually when he was being a jerk towards Amata or occasionally when he’d do something weird and gross like brush across her backside a little too hard while moving past her in the library. Knowing what she knew now and all that, she was definitely feeling a little guilty for the abuse they’d suffered at her... hands? Knees? Not really hands, but definitely her knees.

She felt absolutely ridiculous and completely unsexy doing it, but she gently pressed a kiss to his sack and blinked in surprise at the strangled noise that immediately came out of him. These must be  _ really _ sensitive then. She tilted his cock out of her line of sight a bit to keep an eye on his face and ran her tongue around one and then the other. The way he squirmed and had to clench his muscles to keep his hips still was extremely gratifying.

She tried it again, only this time she gently sucked each ball into her mouth, one after the other. Rolling her tongue over one before moving onto the next. It was weirdly satisfying. Kind of like keeping a gummi bear in your mouth until it got all warm and squishy. Little saltier, though. Not really in a bad way, just different.

By the time she finished, she was fairly certain he was going to bite a hole through his lip. She tamped back that persistent urge to giggle that kept bubbling up and quietly cleared her throat. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s… yeah.” His voice was high and the thumbs up he flashed her way had her snickering against his thigh.

“Okay. Just checking.”

“Sure. Sure, sure, sure.”

She felt confident enough now to tackle the star attraction. Her hand resettled around him and she ran her thumb along his foreskin. Kind of felt like silk, honestly. That would probably be a weird compliment for a guy to get. She decided to keep it to herself and focused on studying the bulbous head that had emerged. It was still weird, but the color was kind of pretty. A dark pinkish purple. Shiny clear liquid beading from the tip. Precum. She totally knew what that was and what it meant, so she must be doing a good job.

Actually, it kind of looked like a scoop of ice cream on a cone if she squinted. He’d said sucking was the way to go, but she kind of wanted to lick it. Maybe that would tickle though.

“Butch?”

“M’hmm?”

“Is licking it okay?”

Breath sputtered out of him and he nodded vigorously, “Yeah. Yeah, licking’s great. Licking is… highly encouraged. That… yeah. Totally.”

“Okay.”

“M’ _ hmm!” _

His whole body lurched the second her tongue slid up along the underside of his cock. Precum turned out to be incredibly salty and she hummed appreciatively as she rolled the tip under her tongue and traced along the bottom ridges.

“Oh, holy fuck.”

Elizabeth paused at his hushed, reverent whisper, “Hmm?”

“You’re a prodigy at this, too, treasure.”

She smiled, “You think?”

“I  _ know.” _

Her smile grew for a moment, even if he couldn’t see it, and she went back to her exploratory licking. He definitely liked it when she pressed a little spot just under his head and got twitchy all the way to his toes whenever she swirled the top. It was kind of fun seeing just how many pitiful noises she could make him make, but her curiosity at what would happen once she got down to business finally overwhelmed her.

She slid the head into her mouth, careful to keep her lower teeth shielded by her tongue and kind of marveling at how well he fit against the roof of her mouth. She’d heard about something called deep throating, too. Not from Amata, thank God, but just from being in the girls bathroom at odd times. She was almost positive it was advanced stuff, and had only the vaguest ideas of what it meant. Most of the comments she’d overheard on it had been quiet, giggling discussions on how to suppress your gag reflex. So she figured the more of him she could fit into her mouth, the happier he’d be. She managed to get him all the way to the back of her tongue before it started to feel a little uncomfortable. His quiet groaning and the way his fists were clenched in the blanket almost felt like a reward for all that trouble.

Her lips sealed around him and she sucked carefully. All those nerve endings were still on her mind. She didn’t want to hurt him, or worse, somehow _injure_ him and end the night’s festivities. The longer she was camped out here between his legs, the more turned on she was getting. It would  _ suck, _ no pun intended, to ruin everything before she had a little more fun of her own.

Butch’s hand found her hair and his fingers threaded through it. “You’re bein’ too gentle. Little harder, sweetheart.”

Oh, thank God. Actual directions. Elizabeth was  _ great _ at following directions. She pulled a bit harder and her tongue just naturally seemed to fall into an undulating rhythm, like she was drinking something. His hand flexed and he moaned her name so she increased the pressure a little more. Just tiny little increments with each pass until his hips flexed upward a bit and his breath caught.

“Fuck. Right there. It’s perfect. It’s so fuckin’ perfect. Don’t stop.”

She settled into an easy sort of rhythm and was surprised when she glanced up that he was staring down at her. The same hungry look of wonder from earlier, like he couldn’t believe any of this was happening right now.

He was panting but still smiled at her, “My good girl. Keep goin’, baby.”

Well, how could she not now? The second he’d said the magic words, she felt heat grow in her belly before rushing down between her legs and making everything absolutely throb. Elizabeth whined softly and squirmed as the desire to have him inside her exploded into an undeniable need. Her head was going all fuzzy but she realized the faster he finished, the faster she’d get what she wanted. She doubled her efforts and ignored everything else. Didn’t even notice him tugging on her hair or the way he’d started chanting her name.

His cock swelled in her hand and then between her lips. Something creamy and briny filled her mouth so she swallowed without thinking. It wasn’t until the second mouthful that she realized what had happened and she blinked before frowning thoughtfully, considering the taste.

Not… terrible. A little bitter, maybe. Definitely not her favorite flavor, but overall not disgusting. She could see herself doing this again. Maybe even a lot more if his babbling thanks and breathless laughter were the result. It was kinda cute the way he couldn’t seem to stop shivering. His cock continued to flex in her hold long after the come had tapered off and she let it go with a pop, giggling a little as it seemed to wave at her.

Butch was breathing like he’d just run a marathon and the hand on her head finally fell away.  _ “Goddamn.” _

She felt extremely smug suddenly. “You’re welcome.”

“Yeah, shit. Thank you. God. That was… and you swallowed and everything. Holy shit.  _ Holy shit.” _ She was still giggling as he dragged her up to lay next to him again and kissed her. “I am like, ninety-nine percent sure that you are somehow eighteen birthday wishes all rolled into one.”

“Just ninety-nine percent, huh?” She pouted, “Damn. I guess I'll have to work on that.”

“Alright, I’m a hundred percent sure. A plus plus! Gold star.  _ All _ the gold stars.”

“That’s better.”

“Yeah.” He threw his arm around her and held her tightly against him. “You need somethin’ to drink or anything?”

“I guess… I didn’t mind how it tasted but now it kinda feels like I have something stuck in the back of my throat.”

He snickered and reached for the nearby bottle of champagne, “Yeah, I bet.”

She pouted at him until he passed it over, “Rude.”

“Nah, I’m just… no girl’s ever said if she liked it or not, so…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Elizabeth took a drink and wrinkled her nose at the way the bubbles seem to attack every surface in her mouth. “I’m not entirely sure I actually like champagne.”

“Me, neither.” He snorted in amusement, “It’s kinda funny though…”

“What?”

“You didn’t make a face when you were suckin’ the soul clean outta my body, but you make a face when drinkin’ this.”

She shrugged, “I like what I like.”

“And I ain’t complainin’.” He set the bottle aside and cuddled back up with her. “Perfect girlfriend. Right here.”

“Aw. Thanks.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, “I just wish I could be the perfect boyfriend.”

She snuggled against him, “Who says you aren’t?”

“You mean, besides everybody else in the world? I do.”

“Hmm… I think you’re too hard on yourself.”

“You know you’re the only person who’s ever thought that, right?”

“Other people are stupid then.”

“Hmm.”

She caught his gaze and hated the guilt written all over his face when he looked at her. “Stop it.”

The hand that had been sliding along her ribcage instantly froze. “What?”

“Stop feeling bad about being here with me.” Tears tried to gather in her eyes and she blinked them away. “I hate the way you keep looking at me. Whenever stuff gets quiet you start staring at me like… like  _ you’re _ the one regretting everything.”

“No, sweetheart --”

“Do you regret doing this?”

“‘Course not. I just still feel guilty draggin’ you into my mess. I can’t help but regret that… and I don’t want you to get hurt, okay? That’s all.”

“You aren’t going to hurt me.”

“It ain’t me you gotta worry about, Elizabeth.”

“Okay, the Macks aren’t going to --”

“They hurt people all the time. I don’t know how to make you understand that, but they do.”

“Butch, listen, I --”

“No,  _ you _ listen. You don’t know what they’re really like, okay? You don’t, and God willing, you’ll never have to. I love you more than anything, but you don’t know what you’re talking about here. I do. I mean… shit, I…”

“Baby.”

“I wouldn’t even exist if they hadn’t hurt Ma, alright?” His eyes blazed with fear and frustration before he shut them tightly. “I wouldn’t. Do you get it now?”

“They… are you saying Allen Mack…”

“Yeah.” He sighed and set his forehead against hers. “Yeah, Allen Mack. I’m his bastard.”

“You’re a Mack?!”

“Technically, no.”

“Genetically yes, though?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, my God.”

“Ma was workin’ off her debt and one day he just... changed the terms of her deal. A few months later, she was knocked up with me.”

“Oh, honey.”

“She wanted to get rid of me, of course, but he wouldn’t let her.”

“And… he’s making you marry his daughter?! That’s  _ disgusting!” _   


His eyes opened and he snorted with laughter, “Nah, that’s… Jesus fuckin’ Christ. You don’t pay attention to _nothin’_ that happens in this vault, do you?”

“What?”

“Susie and her brothers are all adopted, ding-dong. Mrs. Mack can’t have babies.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“That kinda makes sense now that I’m thinking about it. None of the kids look like Allen at all. So, what, did he off their parents, too, just so his wife could…”, Elizabeth paused and took in the reticent look on his face. “Oh, my God, he totally did.”

“I don’t exactly have confirmation or anything, but…”

“Jesus. I can’t imagine asking someone to do something like that. Mrs. Mack’s crazy, too.”

“Oh, nah. Nah, she’s actually real nice. The Mack women don’t know anything. Allen says that’s family business and ladies don’t belong in business.”

“So he’s a psycho and a sexist. Great… so I’m guessing Susie has no idea her daddy is basically strong-arming you into dating her?”

“Nope. Not a clue. She’s his happy little princess.” He shrugged, “It’s like, a point of pride for them, you know? Keepin’ the women happy. So long as Mrs. Mack and Susie are smilin’, they think they’re doin’ a good job.”

"Hmm." She frowned and studied his face, “At least you took after your mom.”

“Yeah.”

Although, now that she was really looking, he did have remarkably similar eyebrows to Allen Mack’s. Almost the same skin tone, too. Maybe something in the cheekbones? She shut her eyes and shook her head, “I don’t want to talk about any of that anymore.”

“Okay.”

She tugged his arm and smiled when he rolled over top of her. “This is our night. No one else belongs here but us.”

Butch smiled back and nodded, “Right. Just me and my treasure.” He kissed her before nibbling down her jaw and whispering in her ear, _“Mine.”_

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him and whispered back, “Yours.”

* * *

It was hard to believe, but just a few hours later and she was right back to her regularly scheduled life, already in progress. Teaching second graders how to play recorders had been something of a challenge given that she couldn’t concentrate for longer than thirty seconds before her thoughts drifted to Butch. You would think an hour of ear-piercing off-key tooting would have gone on forever, but it somehow seemed like one second she was greeting the class and the next the bell was ringing to send them on their way to torture their next elective teacher. Getting lost in daydreams was nothing new for her, but this was definitely taking it to a whole new level.

Now she was going through her usual list of tasks Mr. Holden had set out for her, as she did every Monday. Mostly things too tedious for a man of such renown and prestige to be bothered with. She didn’t mind though. It was mindless grunt work, sure, but it kept her busy and out of the limelight so it was fine. She was already up to item six: Check the practice instruments and make or arrange for any necessary repairs.

Elizabeth went through several runs before finally frowning at the piano in Practice Room 2. Was it really out of tune or was she just imagining things? She tried a few chords and closed her eyes to listen better. No, something was definitely off. It took a few minutes but she finally narrowed it down to an A. Right smack in the middle of where most treble clef melodies were. Fantastic. She wasn’t very good at tuning pianos. Best to let Stanley know. He seemed to have a way with cantankerous stringed instruments.

A peppy sort of knock on the door jolted her out of her musing and she raised her voice, “Come in!”

Susie poked her head in and grinned, “Hey, hey!”

“Hey.”

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh,  _ God.  _ Why was she only able to think about the night before now? Would she be able to smell him on her? She’d showered and all but he was potent. Did she already know? Was she coming to bust her right now? Get her big brothers and her insanely terrifying daddy to smack her around a few times?

She bounced in and locked the door behind her. Elizabeth’s eyes went wide. She was totally busted. Butch had said the Mack women were kept in the dark about everything, but that didn’t mean they weren’t secretly homicidal, too, right?

“What’s uh… what’s up?”

“I heard a rumor…” Even now her voice was off-key as she proclaimed it in a chipper, sing-songy kind of way.

Fuck. Why were her eyes so _gleeful?_ There was a certain mischievous gleam in them that turned the green there particularly radiant this afternoon. Did she get off on this kind of thing?

“About what?”

Susie stood on the other side of the piano and leaned over it, grinning wide. “Somebody likes you!”

She was totally going to throw up. Right here. Right now. Mr. Holden would never forgive her but she was absolutely about to ruin this piano.

“O-oh?”

“M’hmm.” Her smile turned smug as she tossed the pretty, perfect waves of her strawberry blond hair over her shoulder. “He’s been talking about you a lot lately, so I know it’s totally true.”

“Mmm.”

“Asked me a _ ton _ of questions.”

“Oh. That’s…” Wait, no. Butch wasn’t this dumb, surely? He wouldn’t talk about her,  _ his mistress, _ to Susie,  _ his girlfriend, _ would he?   


“You wanna know who it is?”

“Uh… who?”

_ “Stevie!” _

A whole new, different kind of nausea filled her. “Stevie?”

“Yup! You lucky dog!”

“Uh…”

“He said he bumped into you the other day.”

She nodded, “Yes, he did.”

“And he said you were  _ very _ cute.”

“Oh, that’s… that’s nice of him to --”

_ “And _ he said he wouldn’t mind taking you out sometime.” She somehow had magicked her mirror out of nowhere and was carefully touching up her already flawless lipstick. Wholly oblivious to Elizabeth’s rapidly growing terror.

“Wow. _Wow,_ that’s… uh…”

“So Mom said I should invite you to dinner!”

Shit. “That’s… so nice of her.”

Finally satisfied that her lips were as Hot Coral as they could possibly be, she snapped her compact shut and gave her a sneaky look like she was about to share some secret, amazing womanly knowledge with her. “You know, Stevie’s a real catch.”

“M’hmm.”

“He makes a ton of credits working security.”

“Right.”

“And he’s like, the big man on campus. He's got a lot of power around here.”

More than she knew, definitely. “Uh-huh.”

She grinned, “So? Are you into it?”

“Um…”

Her head tilted in momentary confusion at her hesitation before she nodded, “Oh, I get it. Is this about Butchie taking you to the movies that one time?”

“Uh…”

“‘Cause that was just kind of a joke, you know?” She clicked her tongue, “See, I told him you might get the wrong idea. You’re a little naïve and all. He’s so silly.”

“Oh, no. No, I got that it wasn’t… uh, a serious thing. That’s --”

“Oh! Okay! So when are you free? Sundays Mom makes this  _ really _ good pot roast. If you like pot roast.”

“Um, Susie?”

“M’hmm?”

“I’m… I’m just so crazy flattered right now. Truly. Uh, but I’m not really interested in dating anyone.”

“Oh.”

_ “Ever.” _

“Oh.” She blinked at her, “Why?”

The lie instantly came to her like she’d rehearsed it for hours. “I’ve dedicated my life to art.”

“Wow. So, you’re like, a nun but for music or whatever?”

“Yes. Yes, I am. That’s a perfect metaphor.”

“Oh. Well, dang.”

“Yup. Dang.” She shrugged sheepishly, “I’m really sorry.”

“No, no, I get it. You always were kinda weird.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll explain it to Stevie. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, thanks. That would… I mean, I would just hate to upset him or --”

“Aw, don’t worry. He’s a puppy-dog. It’s no big deal.”

“Aha. Yeah. He seems like a… like a puppy-dog.” Sure, just like a rabid Rin Tin Tin.

“You should still come to dinner though!”

“Uh.”

“Daddy and Mom both want to thank you for all the help you’ve given me.” Susie wrinkled her nose a bit, “I know I wasn’t your first choice for Kim or anything, but --”

“Oh, no! No, I… gosh, I mean, you  _ are _ Kim. I don’t… I can’t even see anybody else in the role anymore. I mean, it’s like… Ann-Margaret, who? Ha ha.”

She frowned, “But you seemed pretty mad at the auditions.”

“Oh! That?” She laughed, “No, that was just… I was irritated with Mr. Holden was all! Anybody with sense could see you were perfect for the part! The fact that he even made you audition was just silly! A total waste of time. The part was yours the second you stepped on the stage.”

“Wow, really?!”

“Totally!”

“Do you really think I could be an actress?”

“I absolutely do!”

“You know, I heard Mr. Holden wants to do _ White Christmas.” _

“Right, yes, that’s… yes, he does. Let me guess, you’re going to go out for Judy?”

“No! Betty!”

“Betty! Of… of course! Why didn’t I see that? You’re a perfect… yup. Betty all the way. I can totally see that.”

“Do you think I could pull off being blonde?”

“Absolutely! You’d be even prettier than Rosemary Clooney!”

“Gosh, really?”

“Yup!”

“Wow. You are so nice. You know, I don’t even really like  _ White Christmas, _ but everything I read said that an actress has to work as much as possible to develop her acting skills. You can’t just turn stuff down because you don’t like it.”

“Unless you’re Marlon Brando.”

“Ha! That’s funny.”

“You know, he turned down a role in  _ Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.” _

“What?!”

“Yup. He decided to do  _ Burn! _ instead.”

“Gosh, I just love Brando though.”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“I always thought Butchie looked a little like him.”

“Oh, uh… yeah. I guess I can see that.” She needed to change the subject before she slipped up. “You know, speaking of Brando, I tried to push for  _ Guys and Dolls _ for the summer musical but the Overseer said no. I asked if we could maybe do it for the winter one, but he said no to that, too.”

“What?! Why?”

“He said the gambling was inappropriate for a show done at Christmas.”

“But it’s got the Salvation Army and everything!”

She shrugged, “I know.”

_ “Guys and Dolls _ is so much better!”

“I agree.”

“And I would love to play --”

“Miss Adelaide?”

“Sister Sarah!”

“Sister Sarah?”

“Yeah! Don’t you just  _ love _ Jean Simmons!”

“I do. Of course, I do.”

She pouted, “What? You don’t think I could pull it off?”

“Oh, no! No, it’s just… it’s such a serious role, is all.”

“But I’m a serious actress!”

“Yeah, totally.”

“And Butchie could play Sky and it would be perfect!”

Wow. Did she just see him as an anatomically correct Ken doll that she could play with whenever she wanted? “You think he’d want to? There’s… a lot of dancing and stuff to the part.”

“Well, sure! He’d do it if I told him to. Anyway, it’s not like he’s got any hobbies or anything.” She rolled her eyes, “Honestly, if it weren’t for me, he’d probably just sit around all day drinking beer and lifting weights or something.”

“Huh.” Yeah, thank God Susie was here to make sure he didn’t work out more. It would totally be a shame if he put on even  _ more _ muscle to distract her with. Yup. Just… the worst.

“That’s the thing about having a man. It’s constant work trying to elevate them.”

“Right.”

“You’re so lucky you’ll never have to worry about that.”

She nodded, “Yup. Lucky.”

“Okay! So, dinner at my house at eight on Sunday, okay?”

“Uh.” Had she agreed to that? She certainly didn’t remember agreeing to it.

“It’ll be great! I see you then!”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Bye!”

“Bye.” She returned her wave and set her forehead against the piano the second the door closed. “I’m toast.” She sat back up and banged out the first few measures of Beethoven’s 5th. “I’m t-t-t-toast. T-t-t-toast.  _ Shit.” _

A quick time check revealed it was barely three in the afternoon. Butch should be at work at his barber shop right now. She groaned and fired off a message.

_ Starshine: OK Don’t be mad. _

_ BRMC-TS: What’d U do? _

_ Starshine: I have a dinner date w your GF. _

_ BRMC-TS: Where RU? _

“Oh, he’s mad. He’s totally mad.” She winced and typed out her location. Barely five seconds passed and there was a reply.

_ BRMC-TS: On my way. _

“Fuck.”

The door banged open just a few minutes later and he stood panting in the doorway. "What happened?!"

Oh, now she felt even worse. He must have run the whole way. "It's not that big of a deal."

Butch came inside and locked the door behind him,  _ "What happened?!" _

"She doesn't know. It's not --"

"Baby."

She sighed, "Stevie likes me. Mrs. Mack wanted to invite me over to, I dunno, meet the family, I guess." He looked like he was about to have a heart attack and she smiled as reassuringly as she could. "I fixed it. Don't worry. I told Susie I've dedicated myself to the arts so --"

He laughed and ran both hands through his hair. "You fixed it. You really think you fixed it."

"Susie said she'd talk to him and that it was no big deal."

"Ha!"

"But she still wanted me to come to Sunday dinner. She said her parents wanted to thank me for helping her."

"Oh, God."

"It's fine. It's all fine. I just wanted to give you a heads-up."

"The Macks don't take no for an answer, Elizabeth."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, tell me about it. I didn't even agree to go to dinner and yet somehow I'm going to --"

"No! They don't take no for an answer!" He came over and set his hands on her shoulders. "Stevie isn't gonna care that you aren't into it. Do you understand?"

"He's still going to try to date me?"

He stared at her and his grip tightened until it was almost painful. "I am  _ not _ sharing you with that fuckin' meathead."

"Of course you aren't. I'm not going to date Stevie, come on."

"You don't get it." He sighed and straddled the bench next to her. "Don't go anywhere alone, okay?"

"What?"

"Tell Amata about Stevie, alright? She'll understand."

"Butch, what are you… am I in some kind of danger?"

"Just… promise me, alright?"

"Alright, I promise."

"And… let me know when you get home every night."

"Okay."

"Also, uh… how are you at remembering shit?"

"Pretty good, why?"

"Can you remember VT101-Kronach?"

Her head tilted, "What is that?"

"It's an override code."

"For what?"

"The whole damn vault. If you punch that into the keypad at your house, you can make it to where not even security can get in."

"Don't they have the same code?"

"Nah. The Kronach code is like, the master key, okay? It's above all the others. Not even the Overseer has it."

"How do you have it?"

"I found some holos in the restricted section that mentioned it. Talked about some guy named Braun --"

"Dr. Braun?"

"Yeah. You know him?"

Elizabeth laughed, "Everyone's supposed to know him, Butch. There's a whole chapter on him we went over in history."

"Oh." He shrugged, "Yeah, well, alright then. There you go. It's his passcode."

"Wow."

"Yup." He tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled. "So how do you feel?"

"Fine." She smiled back and shrugged, "A little sore, I guess."

"I'm sorry, baby." He pressed a kiss against her forehead and frowned. "We kinda got a little carried away there."

"And I loved every second of it." She leaned against him and sighed happily when he pulled her close. "I wish we could sneak away right now."

"You do?"

"M'hmm." She nuzzled against his neck, "I do."

"Hmm, y'know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you might have one of them addictive personalities."

"Is that a problem?"

"Hell no. I just thought you should know."

She whispered, "You know, this room is pretty soundproof."

"Oh, yeah?"

"M'hmm."

"I'll have to remember that for next time. I'm still technically on the clock."

"Aw." She turned and ran a hand up his thigh, “So take a break.”

“You’re a bad influence, y’know that?”

“Hmm. It’s probably because some rascally greaser corrupted me when nobody was looking. Fucked my halo right off.”

“Is he bigger than me?”

Elizabeth giggled and ran her fingers along his bulge, “Don’t be silly. Nobody’s bigger than you.”

“Heh.” His lips nibbled at her ear, “Make sure you eat dinner today, okay?”

“Didn’t you once tell me I was going to get fat?”

“That was before I knew how nice your ass bouncin’ right in front of my face was. Now I’m kinda thinkin’ it’d be even better if it was bigger.”

“So now I’m supposed to get fat?”

“Yeah, knock yourself out. Go pure potato like you wanted.”

“If you keep sending me milkshakes, I’ll be pure milkshake.”

“That’s alright, too.” He kissed her again and stood up. “Alright. I gotta go before somebody comes lookin’ for me.”

She pouted up at him, “Okay.”

His eyes settled on her chest and he grinned, “But first, I wanna see what you’re wearin’ under there today.”

A blush came into her cheeks even as she grinned back and pulled down on her zipper, “Pervert.”

“Yeah, and you love it.” His eyebrows rose as she held her suit open. “Wow. That one’s really pretty.”

“Thanks.” She looked down at the virginal white lace, “I was kinda going for an ironic thing.”

“Matchin’ panties again?”

“Always.”

_ “Nice.” _

“Are you uh… on the job tonight?”

“Yeah.” It was his turn to pout as she put herself back together. “Gotta play canasta with Susie, Wally and Janice like we’re fuckin’ middle aged.” He rolled his eyes. “I  _ hate _ canasta.”

“You should try to have fun. I bet there will be nice snacks, at least? Maybe?”

“Maybe.” Butch kissed the top of her head. “Remember what I said, alright?”

“Don’t go anywhere alone and tell Amata about Stevie.”

“Yeah… y’know what? I’d tell your dad, too.”

“Dad? Why?”

“Just… trust me. Allen and Alphonse both respect him ‘cause he’s the doc and they’ve got a vested interest in keepin’ him happy. If you play it right, he’ll tell Allen to rein Stevie in. That’ll help. It won’t fix it, but it’ll help.”

“Okay.”

“Sunday’s gonna be awkward though. I hope you’re up for some dinner theater.”

“You’ll be there?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, wow, that’s not nerve wracking at all.”

“I know.” He shrugged, “I guess that’s the price we’re gonna be payin’.”

“It’s worth it. Anything’s worth it so long as I get to be with you.”

His smile was soft and sweet and made her feel all warm and gooey inside like a brownie. “I love you, treasure.”

“I love you, too.”

“Be good.”

“I will.” She watched him go with a sigh and then pouted down at the keys. “Alright. No time like the present, right?”

_ Starshine: Think I’m in trouble. Stevie is interested. Susie’s invited me to dinner on Sun. _

_ Sunshine: No. _

She stared down and waited but nothing else came. “Oh, okay. Thanks, Tata. Just no. That’s helpful.”

_ Starshine: Hey, Susie said Stevie has a crush on me & I’m not very comfortable w/that. He’s so much older than I am. _

_ DocB: Go directly home after dinner. I’ll handle it. _

Elizabeth blinked. “Wow. Super Daddy to the rescue, I guess.”

Freddie was waiting for her just outside the arts wing when she got off work. He looked tense and skittish. More so than usual. His smile of greeting was downright anxious and he actually offered his arm for her.

“Can I escort a lady to dinner?”

“I guess. I don't really know any ladies but I could probably find one if you give me a minute.”

“Haha, smartass. Amata told me what’s up. Come on.”

“Okay, but you don’t have to go all medieval on me. I can handle walking all on my own.”

“Uh huh.”

She fell into step next to him and chewed the inside of her cheek, “So…”

“Hmm?”

“What’s everybody know about Stevie that I don’t?”

He sighed, “Not everybody knows. I mean, I didn’t know until Amata sent me a freakin’ book through my PipBoy about it.”

“Okay.”

“Apparently you aren’t the first girl Stevie’s been interested in… do you remember Vicki Palmer?”

“Sure. Jonas’s cousin. She… she died a few years back.” Oh, God.

“Yeah, suicide.”

“Right.”

“According to Amata, she did it because Stevie Mack uh… well, let’s just say he didn’t handle her turning him down very well.”

“He hurt her?”

“Yeah. He’s like… you remember watching  _ The Story of Temple Drake _ that one time?”

She shuddered. The one pre-Code film she’d ever wholeheartedly agreed should be kept under lock and key. “Yeah.”

“He’s like Trigger, except Temple didn’t get to shoot him in the end.”

“Then why the hell is he just allowed to --”

“You know why, El. He’s a Mack. They’re untouchable.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do then?”

“I dunno. Amata’s still talking to her dad about it and I saw your dad head into his office, too, so maybe they can stage some kind of intervention before it goes too far.”

“Jesus.”

“Don’t worry. You’ve got friends in high places. It’ll be alright.”

“Sure. That’s easy for you to say. It’s not your ass on the line.”

“I know. We’re doing everything we can though, alright? You just… pretend you dunno what the hell is going on, okay? He’s gonna be pissed regardless, but hopefully he’ll never know you had anything to do with it.”

“Right.”

She sighed and stared at her feet as they walked. At least she knew what she was dealing with and could respond accordingly, right? If Butch had never told her about how dangerous the Macks really were, she’d probably have agreed to go on at least one date with Stevie just to keep the peace and God only knew how that would have turned out.

A solid wall of muscle suddenly slammed into her and she stumbled back. Freddie managed to grab her around the waist before she hit the ground and she was surprised at the angry snarl that came out of him.

“Hey! Watch it, jerk! Can’t you see we’re walkin’ here?!”

“Shove off, little man.”

She blinked and looked up. Butch was sneering at them both like they were ruining his day just by existing. Her friend pulled her behind him and kept his hand clamped around her wrist like she’d be spontaneously abducted if he dared let her go. Elizabeth was honestly shocked at this side of him. Freddie had always been gentle and borderline timid. So nonthreatening that even the Overseer didn’t object to her and Amata inviting him to their regular slumber parties all the way up until the G.O.A.T.. She’d never seen him act… gallant, for lack of a better term, before.

“What’s the matter? You too stupid to see straight?! Apologize to the lady!”

Wow, he was really stuck on this lady thing. Elizabeth watched Butch’s eyes narrow at the way Freddie still hadn’t let her go and quietly cleared her throat. “That’s… that’s not really necessary. I’m fine.”

“Yeah, see? She’s fine.” He scoffed, “You lookin’ for a permit to lay pipe here, flute-tooter? ‘Cause I hate to break it to you, but I seriously doubt she’s gonna grant you one, no matter how loud you bark. Nosebleed’s a square, but she’s at least got _ taste, _ which is more than I can say for your chick.”

Alright, act or not, that was too much. “Don’t you talk about Amata that way!”

Freddie puffed up even more, “Yeah! Don’t you talk about my girl that way!”

“I bet bein’ with her’s like tryin’ to stick your dick into a frozen doughnut, huh?”

“You son of a bitch!”

He leapt at him, or tried to, anyway. Elizabeth had to lean all of her weight into keeping him in place with an arm around his shoulders and she glared at Butch. The seething hatred in her eyes was for show, but the frosty bite of her voice was not.

“That’s _enough._ Walk away, DeLoria.”

“Pfft. Ain’t worth it no how.”

They watched him stalk off and she relaxed her hold but only slightly, “What the hell was that?! He could break you in half!”

He shrugged her off and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “Maybe I’m just tired of being pushed around all the time.”

She sighed and took his arm, “Or maybe you’re just a little freaked out right now?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll be okay, Freddie.”

He shook his head and worried his lip, “I can’t protect you, El. Amata sent me and all and I wanna, but… I can’t even take out Butch. What the hell am I supposed to do against Stevie Mack?”

“Nothing. I’m not having you get hurt on account of me.”

“But --”

“Look, if something happens, you go get somebody. Okay? That’s all you have to do. Nobody’s expecting you to suddenly transform into an Unstoppable here, alright?”

“Of course not.” He rolled his eyes, “Nobody expects nothin’ from me. They never do.”

“Expectations are overrated.”

“Yeah, you would say that.”

Elizabeth smiled and tugged him along, “Come on, tough guy. I’m hungry and weren’t you supposed to escort a lady to dinner? Amata’s  _ excepting _ you to do that, right?”

He gave her a half-smile back and patted her hand tucked in his elbow. “Yeah… you find any yet?”

“Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a quote from the late, great Marlon Brando: "Acting is the least mysterious of all crafts. Whenever we want something from somebody or when we want to hide something or pretend, we're acting. Most people do it all day long."
> 
> Sorry for the interruption last week! I've been sick & slowly getting better. ❤


	7. The greater the intellect, the more ease in its misdirection.

Elizabeth was trying hard to not fall asleep running through  _ Unchained Melody _ for the billionth time. The song was gorgeous, sure, but it sounded like a lullaby without someone actually singing. Still, she had to practice. Homecoming was right around the corner and the class of 2277 had specifically requested a live band. It would be her on lead guitar, Freddie on vocals and rhythm guitar, Jenny Brotch on drums and backup vocals and Jim Wilkins on bass. Three hours of playing for a week’s worth of pay was a pretty solid deal. She had no idea where their budget was coming from but she’d take it.

Plus, she’d get to wear a dress the whole time. She’d never gone to a dance just as a regular participant, but she’d been to literally every single dance, wedding reception, mitzvahs of both the bar and bat variety, quinceañeras and sweet sixteen birthday parties the vault had featured since she was twelve as part of whatever entertainment was scheduled. She always got to wear a cute outfit. Sure, sometimes they were kinda stupid, like the Lewis baby shower where they’d gone with a weird barnyard theme for some reason and she ended up in a pair of overalls and a straw hat, but usually she got to pick her own duds. She preferred her selection of black cocktail dresses. Stylish, simple and they didn’t draw the eye. Kinda made her feel like a fancy ninja.

Butch poked his head into the practice room and looked around before smiling at her, “Hey.”

“Hey, you.” She grinned back as he came in and locked the door behind him but didn’t bother stopping. Muscle memory was just as important as anything else.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Practicing for Homecoming.”

“Huh.  _ Unchained Melody,  _ right?”

“Yup. It’s a classic.”

“It’s pretty.”

“M’hmm.”

“So how come you can handle that but not gettin’ up on the big stage?”

“Because no one stares at the band during a dance.”

“I always stared.”

“Oh, you did not.”

“Did, too!”

She rolled her eyes, “Okay, Romeo. So how’s your Friday going?”

“Fine. Shop don’t open before noon so I got a few errands done.”

“Hmm. Look at you, up before brunch.”

“I know, right? That’s just what the love of a good woman can do for a guy.” He pulled a box out of his pocket and held it out. “Here.”

“What is it?”

“A present.”

She stopped playing and set her guitar aside. “A present for what?”

He shrugged and dropped it into her hands, “Open it and find out.”

“A present.  _ In person  _ this time.”

“Yup.”

“Must be a momentous occasion.” She untied the red bow and opened the box, only to be confronted with another one. This time in a pretty dark blue velvet. “Butch… did you buy me jewelry?”

“Maybe.”

“You know I really don’t expect this kind of stuff, right? You don’t have to… I mean, I know you  _ do _ have to with --”

“I got it for you ‘cause I wanna know you’re walkin’ around here wearin’ it. That’s all.”

“Oh.”

“So open it already.”

“Okay.” She lifted the lid and gasped, “Oh. It’s so pretty.”

“You like it?”

“Yes, I like it.” The little golden heart-shaped locket with its starburst on the front was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Something she would have picked out for herself if she’d been the type to buy jewelry.

“That’s a real diamond, too. Nothin’ but the best for my girl.”

“Butch, it’s too much.”

“Nah. If I could, I’d have you wearin’ my ring, but this seemed like a smarter alternative.”

“I love it.” She gently freed it from the box and held it up. “Will you put it on me?”

“Yeah.”

Elizabeth lifted her hair out of the way and smiled at him as he moved behind her. “I’m never taking this off. Ever.”

“Good.”

“I’m going to put your picture in it when I get home.”

“I uh… I mighta already taken care of that part.”

“Aw. Thank you.”

He fastened it around her neck and kissed the top of her head. “Looks nice on you.”

“I’ll keep it under my vault suit.”

“Good idea.” He watched from above as she unzipped it and chuckled, “Just a little lower, please.”

She laughed and tugged it down to her waist before looking up, “Is this good?”

“Yeah. Wish you could walk around like that all the time.”

“Of course you do.”

He slipped a hand inside her suit and cradled her breast, “Oh, this one’s soft. Kinda slippery.”

“It’s satin.”

“You look good in blue.”

“Sapphire.”

“That’s blue, ain’t it?”

“Yes.” She did her best to not get distracted by how cute he was even upside down. “You ready for rehearsal tonight?”

“M’hmm. Whatcha doin’ after?”

“Dinner and then I was gonna go home since I’m practically on house arrest.” The way he’d started rubbing his thumb against her nipple was extremely distracting but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that for certain. Especially when he was clearly trying to act like he wasn’t up to no good.

“Uh-huh.”

“Maybe take a long, hot bath.”

“Hmm.”

“Watch a movie.”

“That sounds nice.”

Elizabeth hummed thoughtfully and added, “Then maybe I’ll lay on my bed for a while and touch myself while thinking of you.” She grinned as his paltry attempt at nonchalance imploded on itself.

Butch groaned and leaned down to wrap both arms around her, “You are the meanest woman in this vault.”

“I know.”

“After I brought you jewelry and everything.”

“Poor baby.”

“What’re you gonna do to make it up to me?”

“Well… “ It had been hard to find a moment alone together since the whole Stevie situation started. Between her dad and Amata, Elizabeth barely had the privacy to use the bathroom in peace, let alone sneak off to be with her secret boyfriend. Thankfully, she finally had a solution for that, at least for a few hours. “What if I told you my dad wasn’t going to be home at all tonight?”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. He’s got some big experiment going on. I’m not supposed to tell anybody about it ‘cause he doesn’t want anyone to know I’ll be home alone all night long. Totally defenseless.”

“Like a little helpless lamb.”

“Golly, I sure hope the big bad wolf doesn’t come eat me.”

“Maybe you could bribe him.”

“With what?”

“With a little appetizer. Maybe if he isn’t quite so hungry he won’t gobble you up in one bite.”

“Hmm… you know what? I think I know just the thing.”

She really did, too. Giving her the necklace was sweet and all, but she was pretty sure it was at least partly driven by his fear that he was going to somehow lose her. A guy like Butch was protective and possessive over what was his and with good reason. It’s not like he owned much to begin with. The jacket, the knife, his signature hair, and now her. If she could give him another way to feel like he’d marked his territory here, he’d feel better and maybe stop being so surprised every time she said I love you.

Also, maybe she was a little too into the whole good girl gone bad thing. It was possible. She’d been shocking herself at the fantasies her brain was capable of producing all week long. Every time he sent her some sappy, romantic message, for some reason all she wanted to do was throw out the nastiest, dirtiest responses possible in response. He was always so sweet and thoughtful and doting though. She felt bad wanting to reply to him waxing poetic about how adorable she was with something like ‘I would still like you to fuck me silly on stage, only now I kinda want to do it right in the spotlight’. That would probably be oversharing, right? Anyway, a written record of her naughtiest fantasies was no doubt a bad idea for everyone involved.

“Come here.” She pulled him around to stand in front of her and smiled up at him, “Take your belt off and unzip your suit.”

His eyebrows shot up and he chuckled nervously, “Oh, God. You’ve got that look. You planned somethin’, didn’t you?”

She shrugged and made sure her suit was wide open, held back on either side by her breasts. “It’s just a little idea I’ve been kicking around. I wouldn’t really call it a  _ plan, _ per se.”

"Uh huh.” Butch unbuckled his belt and set it aside. He got his zipper down about halfway before she took over. “Eager beaver this mornin’.”

“I’d be an eager beaver every morning if I could.” She gently tugged him free and allowed herself a little wiggle of excitement before pouting up at him. “Wouldn’t that be nice? If we could wake up together every single day?”

“Yeah.”

The breathless way he said it had her smiling. He was just so damn cute. She still wasn’t used to it. He always started out so aggressively sexual, but the moment she pushed back at all, he rolled right over like the sweet little puppy he secretly was way down deep.

“Hmm. See, that’s what I’ve been thinking about since Monday morning. I hated that I had just to kiss you goodbye and run off. That felt so wrong.” She began very gently stroking him, still maintaining eye contact like they were just having a pleasant conversation.

“That uh… that wasn’t your fault.”

“Oh, I know. Someone had me up very late and I’ve never been much of a night owl to begin with, and it’s not like you’re an early bird. So I asked myself, how on earth could two such creatures possibly coexist happily?” Her thumb circled the head of his cock in almost the exact same way he’d been toying with her breasts earlier. “And then it came to me.”

“O-oh, yeah?”

“M’hmm.” She was momentarily distracted by the shiny bead of precum that was about to fall and delicately licked it off. “I thought up the perfect way to wake up someone who isn’t a morning person.”

“Bet you did.”

“Want me to show you?”

“Yes, please.”

“It won’t be exactly the same, since there’s no bed in here, but if you use your imagination --”

“Baby,  _ please?” _

She shrugged like her panties totally weren’t sopping wet. “Okay.”

The second her mouth closed around him, his hands were in her hair. Not pulling or otherwise shoving her around like she’d heard other guys liked to do, just keeping it out of the way so he had a clear view. He liked watching. She’d realized that their first time together. Blowjobs were still new enough to her that they required concentration, but she was able to occasionally glance up and he was staring every time. Watching every move she made while murmuring encouraging words of praise.

“Oh, God, sweetheart. That feels so good. Just a little harder and… oh,  _ fuck. _ There you go. God, it’s perfect. You’re goddamn perfect.”

She was never going to ask because she didn’t want or need details, but she was pretty sure this was one thing Susie  _ never _ did. Butch could probably last for hours in the sack if he needed to, but not here. Just a few minutes of slow, steady pressure and her tongue sliding along the underside of his shaft and she felt him swell in her mouth.

Almost time for the fun part.

He panted and swayed on his feet a little as the hands in her hair involuntarily tightened their hold. “I’m gonna… it’s... “

Elizabeth abruptly sat back and giggled at his shocked face. Her hand never stopped moving and so a half second later, the first spurt of hot, thick come hit her just below her collarbone and ran down over her breasts. He seemed frozen, unable to do much more than bite his lip and grunt quietly while he painted her. She made sure to gently squeeze every last drop out, licking the last few off since she just couldn’t help herself.

“There.” She smiled sunnily at him, “Good morning, baby.”

“You… that…”

“That was kind of a lot, wasn’t it?” She looked down at herself and laughed, “I’m a bit messier than I thought I’d be.”

“S-sorry.”

“No, no, don’t be.” She looked back up at him and slowly zipped her suit back up. “I like messy.”

He put himself back together, still trying to catch his breath. “You’re really just gonna walk around --”

“Covered in you? Yes.” She stood up and wound her arms around his neck. “I’m yours, baby. For always and forever.”

Butch kissed her hard and ground against her. She wasn’t even a little surprised he was already starting to get hard again. “You are a filthy, dirty girl and I’m gonna be thankin’ God for that the rest of my life.”

“Hmm… can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“It’s going to be very hard sitting in rehearsal today trying to focus on my music when all I’m going to be thinking about is how much I want you.”

“Really?”

“M’hmm. If I get scolded for spacing out it's going to be all your fault.” She nuzzled against his neck and happily breathed him in. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, treasure. So fuckin’ much.”

“I can’t wait for tonight.”

“Me, either. The rest of the day is gonna be torture.”

“I know. But we’ll get to be together all night.”

He chuckled, “All your little stuffed animals are gonna be traumatized for life.”

“Probably.” She sighed and finally let him go. “It’s almost noon.”

“Right. Stupid work.”

“Stupid lunch.”

“Oh, somebody’s actually gonna remember to eat today?”

“I worked up an appetite.”

“Heh.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay.”

“Be good.”

“That only applies to when we’re apart, right?”

“Damn straight. When it’s just us, you can be as bad as you want.”

“Oh, goody.”

“All the naughtiness up in here. Just go nuts.”

“That’s good, because I do have a few other ideas I wanted to try out.”

“Oh, fuck.” He paused to adjust himself and grimaced a bit. “Gonna be hard walkin’ this off. You stop bein’ so goddamn sexy right now.”

She giggled and stuck her tongue out, “No.”

“Little brat.” He grinned at her as he left and she blew him a kiss.

A pout appeared on her face the second he left. She’d really hoped they’d be able to sneak off at least once a day  _ everyday, _ but the whole Stevie situation had kinda wrecked those plans. Hopefully after this dinner, things would settle back down. She’d already scoped out numerous utility rooms and broom closets they could hide in. If only she could ever get a minute to herself.

Just a few minutes later, there was a perfunctory knock on the door. Freddie stuck his head in at exactly twelve-oh-five. Right on time.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

He frowned, “I saw DeLoria down the way. Had some obnoxious look on his face. He didn’t bother you, did he?”

She blinked innocently at him, “Butch was here? That’s odd.”

“Hmm. Probably just tryin’ to ditch some job or something.”

“Probably.” She kind of hated lying to her friends over this, but there was no way a confession would be well received. Freddie was far more understanding than Amata could ever be, but even he had his limits.

“Anyway. It’s lunchtime.”

“Okay, cool. Just let me put Goldie up.”

“Sure.” He leaned against the doorframe. “You know… I bet we’d get paid even more for Homecoming if we could do the Andrews Sisters stuff.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You do  _ Candyman _ so well.”

She rolled her eyes, “There is no way in hell the Overseer would approve of  _ Candyman _ for a high school dance.”

“He might!”

“It’s too suggestive.” Elizabeth gave him a flat look and sang, “He's a one stop shop, makes the panties drop.”

He grinned, “See? Gorgeous.”

“There is no way. Even if I were inclined to sing in front of crowds, which I am not, I wouldn’t be allowed to sing that one.”

Freddie pouted, “Boo.”

“He won’t even let Jenny sing  _ I Want A Little Sugar in my Bowl.  _ Come on.”

“Guy’s a square and a half.”

“No joke. I dunno how Amata stands it.”

“‘Cause she’s an angel on earth, that’s how.”

Elizabeth smiled at that and they headed for the diner. “You two are so cute together.”

“Yeah, I know.” He glanced around and lowered his voice, “Hey, speakin’ of… y’know, romance and whatever.”

“Hmm?”

“You never did say how the whole DeLoria thing shook out.”

“Uh.” Man, it was kind of hard to come up with a solid story when you were distracted by how sticky your vaultsuit was. Probably should’ve thought that whole thing through a little better. “It’s… fine. Everything’s fine.”

“He apologize?”

She decided to go with as much truth as she could here. Easier to remember when there were less fabricated details to keep straight. “He did, actually. He came by when I was practicing my lyrical stuff last Saturday.”

“Pfft. Just gotta bother you when you’re tryin’ to enjoy yourself. Typical.”

“Hmm. Well… anyway, it’s done. He said he was sorry, I forgave him. The end.”

His bright hazel eyes narrowed as he studied her face, “He ever say why he did it?”

“He said he just wanted to see what it would be like.”

“God, what an asshole.”

“Hmm.”

“You know, I was gonna go get my haircut on Tuesday, but I overheard him and Wally talkin’ shit about you and I got so goddamn angry I had to walk away.”

“O-oh.”

“Yeah. Fuckin’ assholes. You’d think they’d grow up eventually.”

“Hmm.” She knew better, she really did. Butch loved her and she loved him and of course he’d have to go along with whatever Wally said about her. Of course he did. It didn’t mean anything. “What’d they say?”

He rolled his shoulders like he was still angry over it and shook his head. “I dunno if I should say.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause you’ve got that weird crush on the guy.”

Elizabeth swallowed wrong and almost choked, “W-what?! Where on earth did you get a crazy idea like that!”

“El. Come on. We’ve known each other since diapers.”

“So?!”

“And I’m the only guy aside from your dad who’s ever been in your  _ house, _ let alone your  _ room.” _

“It was just to watch a movie!”

“You can be honest about it, y’know. I won’t tell Amata.”

She sighed and picked at her nails, “Oh, please. You guys tell each other everything. As you should."

“I really wouldn't. Cross my heart.” He smiled at her and nudged her shoulder, “Come on. I was your friend and pretend-husband years before I was her boyfriend. I'm not a rat. Unless she asks me pointblank, I’m not gonna say anything.”

“Ha. I’d forgotten about that.” She dropped a quick curtsey, “Mr. Gomez.”

He tipped an imaginary hat at her, “Mrs. Gomez.”

She batted her eyes, “How was work at the robot factory today, honey bunny?”

“Just _terrible,_ jellybean. I hope you made your special meatloaf because I’m dying for a piece after the day I’ve had.”

“Oh, Mr. Gomez! How did you know!” She giggled, “And then I’d get a kiss for being such a good little wifey.”

“Heh. Yeah.”

“I bet Amata’s really glad you finally figured out kissing doesn’t involve smashing your forehead against somebody else’s as hard as you can.”

He scoffed, “How was I supposed to know any better? You think my parents ever get frisky? Pssh.”

“The dip part was always nice though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think if I were married in real life, I’d definitely want my husband to dip me when we kissed as much as possible.”

“Alright… I’mma try it but if Amata gets pissed, I’m aimin’ her right at you.”

“Okay, but if she loves it, you should take all the credit.”

“Thanks. See? This is why you’re my best pal right here.”

“I know.” They finally reached the diner and took a booth. Elizabeth nodded at Andy as he set their regular lunches down in front of them and drank some of her Nuka before she nudged him with her foot. “Hey.”

“Hmph?” He had a mouthful of patty melt but stopped midchew and gave her his full attention.

She laughed a little at his ridiculous face and, as much as she’d love to dump all this on his shoulders, decided against it. Freddie was already anxious enough. He didn’t need the knowledge of her elicit activities and double-life weighing him down, too.

“Thanks. For always being there.”

He wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand and nodded, “Sure, El. I’ve got your back. Always, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I take care of both my girls, alright? I’m not like  _ some _ assholes around here.”

“I know. You’re a good guy.”

“Thanks.”

“That’s why I allow you to date my other best friend.”

He stuck his tongue out, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Aw, isn't this cute? Lookit the little lovebirds.”

Elizabeth sighed and set her forehead in her hands. Seriously? Couldn’t go anywhere in this place without being accosted by a Mack.

Freddie glared up at Wally and his tone was just this side of outright belligerent. “Can I help you?”

“I highly doubt it. I’m not here for you.” He tapped her head with a card and wrinkled his nose in distaste the second she looked up. Like she was downright repulsive or something. “Hey, Poindexter. My mom said to give you this.”

“What is it?” She reluctantly accepted the envelope but didn’t open it.

“It’s your official dinner invitation, idiot.”

“Oh.”

“She wants you to dress nice, so you better.”

“Right.” Shit. Amata and her dad had spent a whole week arguing her fate with the Overseer. Had nothing they said mattered? “Okay. Thanks.”

He snorted with amusement and walked away, shaking his head. “I definitely don’t get it.”

Freddie took the invite from her slack hand and opened it, “Guy’s a jerk. I dunno how Mrs. Mack lets him get away with bein’ such an asshole. She’s so nice.”

“Yeah.”

He sighed, “Says black tie. That must be some fancy pot roast.”

“Freddie, do you remember when we watched  _ Bird of Paradise?” _

“Yeah.”

“I feel like Luana just before she’s sacrificed to the volcano.”

He rolled his eyes, “You’re misremembering that one. Luana  _ wanted _ to sacrifice herself to the volcano, remember? Johnny tried to get her off the island and run away with her but she thought flinging herself into the volcano was the only way to save everyone, so she snuck off in the night with her dad. That’s nothing like this situation.”

“Okay. Then I feel like Andromeda chained to that damn rock waiting for Cetus to eat her.”

“Hmm… if only there was a Perseus around to help you out.”

“If only.”

He tapped the card thoughtfully against the table, “You said your dad’s going with you, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, that’s something. At least you’re not going into the lion’s den alone.”

“Yeah.”

“Plus… not to gossip or anything, but my mom was talking to Mrs. Mack the other day and she seemed  _ super _ excited to have your dad over for dinner.”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah. She barely mentioned you, really. She kept saying that it was a real honor to have  _ the doctor _ over. That’s how she said it.  _ The doctor. _ Like that was his name or somethin’.”

“Huh.” She thought it over for a moment, “You know, we’ve never eaten with anyone except the Overseer and Amata and that’s usually just on holidays. Dad’s always too busy.”

He laughed, “Too busy? Is that the only reason?”

“Sure. What other reason would there be?”

“Oh, my God. Okay, apparently you’ve never noticed, but your dad is a big deal around here, El. He’s like… if I had to rank people, okay? It would go the Overseer and then your dad and Mr. Mack would tie for second place.”

“What?! That’s not… Dad’s not… that’s crazy.”

“No, it’s really not. He’s  _ important, _ see? Really important. That makes you important by association.”

“Oh, Freddie, honestly.”

“I’m bein’ honest! Why do you think all the other guys get so damn salty about me hangin’ out with you and Amata, huh?”

She frowned, “I thought people were obnoxious towards us because we’re nerds.”

“No! Well, I mean, yeah, for me, sure, but you and Amata are like freaking royalty around here, El. Are you seriously telling me you never realized that?!”

“Uh…”

“Jesus Christ. You’re the dumbest smart person I know.”

“Rude!” She finished her drink and set the bottle down with a thunk. “That’s rude,  _ Fredrick.” _

“Well, excuse me,  _ Duchess, _ but it’s the truth.”

She pouted, “Is that why you wanted to marry me when we were six? Just because I’m royalty?” Elizabeth fake sobbed and put her hand to her forehead, her best posh British accent in full effect.  _ “Oh!  _ The burden of my station!”

“El, stop it.”

“You foul peasants have no idea what it’s like!”

“El, seriously. Knock it off.”

“The  _ unrelenting torment!” _

His boot connected with her shin about a half second before a terrifyingly familiar voice came from somewhere above her.

“Is this miscreant bothering you, Miss Booth?”

She tipped her head back and stared at Stevie Mack hovering over them. Fuck. “N-no, sir.”

“We were just goofin’ off, Officer Mack.” Freddie smiled politely and then shrank back when his icy gaze fell on him.

“Your lunch break’s about over, isn’t it, Gomez? Stanley’s probably looking for you.”

“Uh…”

“Freddie rehearses after lunch on Fridays. For the musical!” She gave Stevie a sweet smile like she wasn’t completely terrified. “A lot of the musicians do. The singers come in later, so… uh… you know what, Freddie? Officer Mack’s right. Our break’s about over. Better get back to it!”

“Oh, uh… yeah. Yeah, Mr. Holden gets so cranky if we’re late.”

“Right. Yup.” She slipped out of the booth and nodded so he’d make for the door. “I’ll uh… I’ll see you on Sunday, Officer Mack. Please tell your mother I’m looking forward to the pot roast.”

“Oh. Alright… would you like an escort --”

“Bye!” She beamed like an idiot and practically ran out the door. The second they were out of sight, Freddie had her hand in his and they bolted for the arts wing.

“Shit, shit, shit.”

“I really hope Mr. Holden has something for us to do right now.”

“If he don’t, we’re hidin' out under Amata’s bed.”

“Agreed.”

As luck would have it, Mr. Holden was only too happy to put them both to work. Elizabeth didn’t even mind the splinters that came from rearranging the sets in a more ‘organic’ way. She’d even have been fine getting buried under the two tons of loose sheet music in the file room and all the paper cuts that would have come with it so long as it meant getting away from Stevie Mack.

She was nervous and fidgety all the way up until rehearsal began. Seeing Butch walk into the room had an oddly calming effect on her though. The little wink he threw her way when no one was looking helped even more. She took a deep breath to relax and immediately made a face at the way her suit pulled at her skin.

Turned out jizz made for a pretty solid super glue substitute under the right circumstances. Who knew?

“Somethin’ wrong?”

She internally cursed Freddie’s annoyingly perceptive concern and shook her head, “No, not really. Just tired.”

“Hmm. Okay, yeah.” He settled back in his chair and casually shrugged. “I thought maybe you were cranky about your dreamboat.”

“What?”

He nodded towards the back. “Butch.”

“I'm not even… why would I…” She glanced over and did indeed want to frown at the way he was fawning over Susie, but she  _ didn’t, _ and that was the point. “He’s being cutesy with his girlfriend like always. Who cares?”

His eyebrow rose by a fraction of an inch on an otherwise perfectly impassive face. “M’kay.”

“Freddie, you seriously need to drop it, alright?”

“Sure.” He shrugged, “Just… when you’re ready to talk, I’m here, alright?”

She scoffed, “There is nothing to talk about.”

“Hmm.” He kept his eyes on the strings as he carefully tuned everything. “Went a little further than a kiss, didn’t it?”

“I… I am sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“He’s bad news.” His eyes flicked back over to him and he glowered at the way Butch kept looking at her. “I don't wanna upset you or anything. I’m just tryin’ to help.”

“There’s nothing to help. Can we just drop it? Please?”

“Sure.”

“Thank you.”

“Yup.” A few tense seconds passed before he mumbled, “Swear to God, if I find out he took advantage of you --”

“He  _ didn’t.” _

“-- I’mma ring his bell  _ hard.” _

Elizabeth sighed, “Great. Thank you. You can  _ stop now.” _

He huffed, “I love you like a sister, El. I'm allowed to be mad about some jerk not treating you right.”

“I love you, too, but you’re acting like a Neanderthal. Please stop.”

_ “Fine.” _

“Fine.”

“Hmph.” He wriggled around in his seat, too aggravated to find a comfortable position. “And just so we’re clear, by the way, I wanted to marry you when we were six because you were pretty and nice and always made me laugh even when all I wanted to do was cry.”

She blinked at him, “Freddie…”

“It was a stupid crush and I’ve  _ been _ over it a long time, but somewhere deep down inside I guess I  _ do _ still think of you as my girl and it just pisses me off when somebody’s tryin’ to mess with  _ my girl.” _

Most of the woodwinds across the way had completely given up even pretending to tune their instruments and were openly staring at them now. She hissed at him, “Keep your voice down!”

He gestured angrily with his hand and ignored her, “It would be different if I thought he were even _ almost  _ good enough for you, but he ain’t --”

“Shh!”

“-- and he damn well knows it! He’s got no business sniffin’ around you! None whatsoever!”

There were giggles coming from the percussionists behind them and she felt her cheeks start to burn. The louder he got, the quieter her admonishments became, “Freddie! Shut up!”

“It’s bullshit! He knows it, I know it, I hope to God  _ you _ know it and I am just so goddamn frustrated and pissed and… and…” He shot up out of his chair, stomping a foot in anger as he yelled,  _ “I am tired of other guys messin’ with you and gettin’ away with it!” _

Abrupt, absolute silence fell over the room. She was pretty sure that even the vacuum of space was louder than this. Elizabeth groaned as the embarrassment she was feeling reached a saturation point she didn’t know she was capable of and hid her face in her hands.

Mr. Holden’s clipped voice finally broke through as he cleared his throat. “Yes, thank you for that, Mr. Gomez. A very passionate performance. Now if only you could apply that same passion to your guitar playing for the next hour, we might really see some progress here, hmm? Miss Booth? Are you with us?”

She nodded and stayed behind her hands, “Unfortunately.”

“Fantastic, then let’s begin.”

Almost a full thirty minutes passed before she was able to summon the courage to peek in Butch’s direction. He was staring a hole into Freddie’s head in a way that did not bode well for his survival. His eyes met hers and the terrifyingly blank expression on his face didn’t change one iota. He went right back to glaring at her friend before she even blinked.

Fuck.

It was probably the most awkward and terrible hour of her life. Freddie wouldn’t so much as look at her and it wasn’t like she could reach out for him here. Not now when the entire orchestra thought he was pining for her or whatever. Just waiting with bated breath to see what the next dramatic twist here would be. Especially not with Butch watching them so closely. She didn’t even have a chance after dismissal. He just bolted away the second Mr. Holden set the baton down.

She watched him go with tears in her eyes. Whispers seemed to fill the room and she caught more than one reproachful look from some of the other girls. She couldn’t blame them. Only the lowest of the low would steal her best friend’s boyfriend, and that’s exactly what his outburst had made it seem like she was trying to do. They’d been the subject of petty rumors since junior high, but those had mostly tapered off once he started dating Amata. Now he’d just dumped gasoline on all that nonsense and she’d be surprised if word hadn’t reached Tata before he even got there to do damage control.

“Miss Booth?”

She looked up and realized she and Mr. Holden were the only ones left in the room. “Yes?”

“Are you alright?”

Oh, crap. Politely expressed concern from a responsible and trusted authority figure. Her one great weakness. “No, I don’t think so.” She hid again as she started crying and felt even more pitiful when he gently pulled her up from her chair and patted her on the back.

“There, there. Everything will be alright. You know, it was Elizabeth Taylor who once said ‘You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.’ I’m sure Miss Almodovar won’t pay any mind to any silly thing said about Mr. Gomez’s little… outburst.”

“I’m not with Freddie! I swear I’m not!”

“Oh, I know.” He dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief and smiled, “If you were, I’d surely have caught you by now. The two of you have a very nice, wholesome sort of friendship and always have. I’m not sure what’s got him so flustered, but I’m sure it’s a strictly platonic matter.”

She nodded, “Yeah.”

“Young men are often prone to dramatics and foolishness.”

“Is that another Elizabeth Taylor quote?”

“Ha. No, that’s one of mine.”

“Oh.” She managed a watery smile. “Thanks, Mr. Holden.”

“You’re welcome, dear.” One last fatherly pat on her shoulder, a quick but still humiliating sidehug, and he gathered his things and left.

She sighed and sat back down. She was supposed to go eat dinner, but her so-called escort had deserted her and she definitely wasn’t up to encountering Stevie right now. God only knew where Butch was and the cafeteria was no doubt packed with gossips spreading the latest scandalous tidbit in the vault. Anyway, her stomach was in knots so huge nothing else would fit but Jell-O.

Home. She needed to go home.

Her heart was in her throat the entire way. She hurried whenever possible, kept her head down when passing others, and checked every corner she turned just in case. Thankfully, the worst she ended up facing were a few mean looks and the occasional whispered insult. The orchestra made up almost a fifth of the vault’s population, so word had traveled along dozens of vectors at the speed of light already. She wanted to curl up in a ball and die by the time she reached her door, but she did reach it, and that’s what mattered.

Elizabeth headed straight for the bathroom and locked the door behind her with the special code Butch had given her. Just in case. Her vaultsuit was hard to peel off and itchy, but she embraced the discomfort as a kind of penance. She couldn’t help but feel like this was all her fault. A week ago, she’d been happily ignored by everyone. Kept out of other people’s business. Quietly did her job to the best of her ability. Barely existed as far as most people were concerned.

She spends one weekend deviating from all that and just look what happens. Complete and total meltdown of her life. One friendship now awkward and stilted. The other a total unknown. Her boyfriend was pissed at her and the entire vault thought she was the kind of rat who’d go after her best friend’s guy.

Steam billowed out of the shower stall and she gratefully stepped inside, scrubbing down and not bothering to stop trying to cry. That’s what showers were for anyway, right? Crying and getting everything out in a place where no one ever had to see. Of course, the stupid conservation timer dinged far before she was ready, but she was at least clean. Kind of drowning in snot, but clean.

She grabbed the first nightgown she came to and slipped it on before burrowing under the covers for warmth. Her Pipboy was buzzing on her nightstand and it took her a while to work up the nerve to check it. Two messages. The first was from Freddie.

_ Freaknik: Plz let me know you got home ok. Feel like a tool. Sorry I embarrassed you & ran away. I kinda freaked out. A says I’m an idiot & she’s right. As usual. Sorry, Mrs. G. =p PS U can smack me around some if you want. _

Elizabeth sighed and typed a quick response.

_ Starshine: Home. Going to bed. Playing Jezebel is kind of exhausting. _

The second message was from Amata and she smiled while she read it out loud. _ “F told me what happened. Don’t worry, Ik he’s dumb. Kicked him a few times for you. Rumor mill is working overtime. Ppl are bored, I guess. Love you. No worries.” _ She sighed and hugged her Pipboy. “Thank you, God.”

_ Starshine: Kick him right in the shin until he cries. He deserves it. I got a pity hug from Mr. H. >:O XOXO _

She smiled as she imagined her friend enacting her revenge for her. Amata totally would. It was a huge relief that her best friends were still her best friends, but it worried her that Butch hadn’t sent her anything. Not even a ‘hey I’m about to murder your little sidekick’ message or anything.

_ Starshine: Freddie has VDS, yk? Makes him prone to freakouts. _

_ BRMC-TS: U home? _

_ Starshine: Yes _

_ BRMC-TS: Good. Something came up. Gotta cancel. _

Fresh tears welled up and she chewed on her lip. Was he mad at her? Or Freddie? They hadn’t really been together since Sunday except for their little moment earlier today and suddenly she felt very, very ashamed and embarrassed by that whole thing. She held onto the locket around her neck and tried to remind herself that he  _ had _ just given it to her and probably wouldn’t jump straight to dumping her over something as silly as this but for some reason all she could think about was how doting and cute he looked with Susie at rehearsal and…

Elizabeth took a deep breath, plastered a smile on her face even though there was no one around to see it and typed a reply.

_ Starshine: OK _

There. Nobody had to know she was fighting back a panic attack. She could at least appear mature and calm over text. He’d already told her he could only be with her when he wasn’t on the job, and obviously he must be on the job. So that was fine. This was all…

A new message came through on her Pipboy and she frowned at the unfamiliar handle.

_ Marigold58: Hey! RU OK? That was nuts!!! _

_ Marigold58: PS This is Susie. I luv UR tag! _

“Oh, God.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from the notable playwright, director and screenwriter David Mamet.
> 
> I am already past chapter 10 of this story even though I SWORE it wasn't going to go beyond being a short story kinda thing.
> 
> Why do I lie to myself, children? 😒
> 
> Also, why do the men of Vault 101 wear those weird utility belts anyway? WTF are they carrying in all those little boxy totes?? Is it candy???
> 
> (Oh & VDS is Vault Depressive Syndrome. Freddie & Stanley have it canonically. Because humans aren't meant to live in underground, sealed environments.)
> 
> I'm gonna assume it's candy.


	8. Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.

Elizabeth stared at her Pipboy in terror. Susie sending her messages on any night would be bad enough, but tonight?! Why the heck wasn’t she busy with Butch? She’d assumed that’s what he meant by ‘something came up.’ Before she could manage to collect herself, another message pinged through.

_ Marigold58: I always kinda thought Freddie was a dud but wow! He’s sorta cute when he gets all intense like that! _

She winced and typed a quick reply.

Starshine: _ Hi. It was just a misunderstanding. NBD He just gets overwrought sometimes. I’m fine. Thx. _

“Please don’t respond.  _ Please _ don’t respond. Please don’t --” She winced again as her Pipboy buzzed. “-- respond. Fuck.”

_ Marigold58: Ofc. I know u have the nun thing happening. I told Jan & C to stuff it. Sry ppl r running their mouths on you. Plebs just don’t understand true artists. _

Hysterical laughter bubbled up in her throat.

_ Starshine: That’s v true. Thank you. Gnight! _

_ Marigold58: Night! See U Sun! _

She groaned and set her Pipboy aside. “Come on, Susie. We aren’t friends. I  _ can’t _ be your friend. What the hell?”

This had to be about her wanting good parts, right? That was the only possible reason she could have for wanting to get chatty. It was just her regular bad luck that it happened to coincide with Elizabeth having sex with her boyfriend of going on five years. That was just… chance. No big deal. She’d no doubt lose interest once she realized how little Elizabeth had to do with decisions made in the arts department.

But what the heck was Butch up to? Was he sitting there with his arm around her while she poured over the details of what had happened on a loop as she always tended to do whenever something even halfway scandalous went down in the vault? Had he tried to talk her out of texting her, or had he encouraged it trying to see if she’d maybe confess something to another girl.

No. That was stupid. He had to know she wouldn’t say anything to Susie even if there  _ were _ something to say. Which there wasn’t. Freddie had started asking her to pass Amata notes all the way back in the fifth grade. So even if it were true that he had at one time had some silly childhood crush on her, it was obviously old, old,  _ old _ news. A decade old, even, which may as well qualify it for being classified as ancient history.

Guilt was still eating her alive though. She couldn’t even really say why. It’s not like she’d provoked anybody or lead anybody on or whatever. She hadn’t done  _ anything _ really.

Except… the whole helping her boyfriend cheat on his girlfriend thing… lying to her two bestest friends in the whole wide world… and her dad… and everybody else by pretending she was still the same old maid in the making she’d always been.

She sighed heavily and glanced over at the dark, wise eyes of her purple stuffed pony watching her from the bookcase. “Am I a bad person, Cupcake?”

If the movies had taught her anything, it’s that bad things happened to bad people. Bad things happened to good people, too, occasionally… usually just one bad thing right at the beginning, but in the end, the villain always got their comeuppance. It was hard to not feel like a villain right now. Especially with Susie being so weirdly nice this whole week.

It’s not like it was her fault she’d been adopted by a crime lord, was it? She was the sole innocent victim in all of this. Just blithely bopping along, living her life. Being a good girl, even. She was still a virgin, after all. The rest of the Macks might be corrupt and heinous, but she’d at least absorbed the goodness of her mother. Patiently waiting until marriage to consummate her relationship to someone who was easily the most attractive person in the vault. Maybe even the world.

Elizabeth definitely didn’t have that kind of moral fortitude. She’d lasted a grand total of thirty-six hours from the first time Butch (or anybody) kissed her to happily spreading her legs for someone she knew she couldn’t ever actually be in an honest relationship with. Without an ounce of shame or anything.

It was definitely hitting her now though. Maybe a delayed reaction or something. It felt like she was drowning in humiliation. She had no idea how she could even look him in the face. Or anybody else, for that matter.

Jesus Christ. She’d let the guy come all over her and then just pranced around,  _ in public, _ while it slowly dried under her clothes. All because she’d thought he would think she was sexy and irresistible or something. She’d thought laying herself bare to him like she had, being wholly honest and open with how she felt and what she wanted, would be a  _ good _ thing. That it would show him how much she cared and how deeply her feelings ran.

But apparently not.

Instead, she just felt dirty and used and disgusting. And none of it in a good way. Even the locket around her neck felt like it was choking her now. She’d specifically said she wasn’t the kind of girl who expected gifts. That she couldn’t be bought off with trinkets or anything. She’d tried to present herself as a person of integrity and principles, even when she was quite literally debasing herself. A saintly slut. There was a new one. Everyone knew you had to choose between madonna  _ or _ whore. You didn’t get to be both.

He’d given her flowers and food and she’d forked over her virtue like it didn’t mean anything. Then he gave her a shiny bauble and she’d immediately felt compelled to service him. Now she wore his necklace in secret as tangible evidence that she was his pet. Meanwhile Susie got to snuggle up to him whenever she felt like it. Enjoyed his public adoration like it was nothing. Wore his pin and everything and would someday wear his ring.

She’d felt so full of love and hope and joy last Sunday. Now it was all gone. Burned to the ground and rotted by jealousy and embarrassment and the slinking, persistent fear that this was all somehow a grand farce on his end. Like he’d already admitted their first date had been. Hell, maybe Wally was in on it. Maybe that’s what Freddie had overheard and why he was so prickly and overprotective of her now.

Maybe everyone was already in on the joke that was her life and she was the only one too stupid to see it.

Elizabeth dragged herself out of bed and grabbed Cupcake off the shelf. She hadn’t slept with a stuffed animal since she was at least eleven, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He felt smaller in her arms than she remembered but that made sense since she was bigger now than the last time she’d cuddled up with him. Her fingers sank into the fluffy rayon and she buried her face against his mane, hiding from the world while she cried.

She didn’t remember falling asleep but she realized she must have at some point. All she knew was she’d opened her eyes to darkness. The lights in the hall had auto-dimmed and her lamp had switched itself off. That meant it had to be at least past midnight. Elizabeth sighed and wiggled down deeper into her covers. There was no reason to be awake yet beyond torturing herself. She never slept well when she was upset, but this seemed extra rude of her brain to do tonight.

A quiet chuckle from over by her desk had her freezing in place though. Her heart pounded in her chest as her groggy mind struggled to identify the intruder but it just wasn’t happening. Not without visual confirmation. She cautiously opened one eye just enough to look through her lashes and the relief she felt at seeing the silhouette of a very distinctive pompadour was only surpassed by her instant confusion.

Her head came up and she squinted, “Butch?”

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Elizabeth blinked at him and tried to ignore the way his soft voice seemed to fill her with warmth. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to apologize but you were asleep already. You looked so cute and everything, I couldn’t make myself wake you up.”

“So you just watched me sleep instead?” She immediately scowled, “That’s kind of creepy.”

“Yeah, I know.” He nodded and moved from her desk chair to come climb into bed behind her. “But you already knew I was a creep, right?”

“What?”

His arms wrapped around her and he sighed against the nape of her neck. “I was an idiot and I didn’t realize just how much of an idiot I was until I got here. I uh… I lied. Earlier. Nothin’ came up. I canceled ‘cause I thought I’d maybe be able to catch you and Freddie red-handed, but… that was fucked up. I fucked up. I shoulda known better. Freddie’s always been a big weirdo and even Susie said there was nothin’ between the two of you, but I was so mad, I couldn’t believe it.”

“You… you really thought Freddie and I were…” She elbowed him away and sat up, “What is wrong with you?!”

He sat up, too and shrugged. “I dunno. I just… it felt like it made sense. You’re always together. He obviously has the hots for you --”

“He does not!”

“Well it kinda looked like he did! Okay?! I told you! I ain’t used to girls like you. Everybody else in my life is just waitin’ to stab me in the fuckin’ back. So it… it made sense to me that maybe you would, too. I dunno.”

Every word that fell out of his mouth hurt more than the one before, but she couldn’t find the strength to fight back. Why shouldn’t he assume she was a person of godawful character? It’s not like she had a leg to stand on here. She couldn’t even claim to not be that kind of girl anymore because she was. Sneaking around with Butch was objectively just as bad as sneaking around with Freddie would be, wasn’t it? Amata and Susie were both people, for fuck’s sake. Just because one was her friend and the other wasn’t didn’t make what she was doing with him right or even justified. She was honestly pretty disappointed with herself at this point.

When she just hung her head and didn’t speak he sighed again and continued.

“I came in here all geared up to  _ kill _ him, to be honest, but then… you were just… all tucked up in bed by yourself. Bein’ a perfectly good girl like you always are. In your… your cute little kid pajamas and all. Surrounded by a buncha crumpled tissues and holdin’ on to your little horsie so tight. I felt like an _ asshole _ . As soon as I saw you I realized how  _ stupid _ I’d been. Of  _ course _ you aren’t like that. Of course not. I… I dunno why I was so sure you’d… I was stupid. I'm sorry. I know you were upset and I know at least part of it was 'cause of me and I'm sorry.”

She frowned and stared at the pink satin ribbon that wove through the lace edging of her bodice. For some reason, her brain had seized upon the least offensive thing in all that to be upset about. An empire waisted bias-cut nightgown in cream and pink was hardly  _ little kid pajamas. _ It was tasteful and mature. Ladylike. Barely sheer enough to necessitate a robe on the rare occasion that she wore it outside her bedroom. Did he assume that her fondness for fancy lingerie translated into her dressing like a bombshell whenever she was out of a vaultsuit?

A little huff left her and she fussed with the lace on her cuffs. “It's hardly kid pajamas.”

“Sorry, it’s… I guess I always kinda imagined you in some  _ Peek-A-Boo _ style thing for sleepin’...”

Unbelievable. He actually did. She’d almost be flattered to be confused for one of the extras in a raunchy French burlesque movie under different circumstances. Tonight it just made her feel like trash.  _ “Les Belles Bacchantes.” _

“What?”

“That movie is actually called  _ Les Belles Bacchantes.” _

“Oh.”

She rolled her eyes and folded her arms, “Most women in real life don’t wear pasties to bed, just so you’re aware.”

“Right. Yeah, no, I knew that.” He awkwardly cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “So… you’re probably pretty mad, right? I figured you’d hate me for bein’ such an asshole. I mean, first I was rude to you guys on Monday and now this…”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Jesus, you really are a sweet --”

“I just hate myself.”

“What?”

She shook her head and huddled up a bit more, “I’m… I feel like an awful person.”

“‘Cause of me?”

“No, because of me.”

“You didn’t do nothin’, though.”

A little burble of laughter escaped her and she glanced up at him. He just looked so lost and confused. How dark was his world that he couldn’t even tell how revolting she was? “I’m helping you cheat on your girlfriend, Butch.”

“No, that’s… we talked about that. That ain’t real.  _ We’re _ real.”

“I'm sure Susie would disagree… and I just threw myself at you knowing full well that I didn’t have the right to. I  _ keep _ throwing myself at you. Over and over --”

“Treasure, please.”

“-- even when you tried to stop me, I wouldn’t. I just… I wanted you and… my whole life I’ve been raised a certain way and I thought… I thought I was… I’m…” She couldn’t even get the words out and ducked her head again. “You said I was good and clean but I’m  _ not. _ I’m… starting to wonder if I was only ever respectable and whatever because I never had a chance to be anything else. The first time temptation came my way, I just… caved. I didn’t even…” She sighed, “My friends kept saying you were bad news, but  _ I’m _ the bad news. I’m like Eve in the garden and I just couldn’t wait to bite the apple first chance I got.”

“You _ are _ good, sweetheart. I know you are. _ Everyone _ knows you are.”

“No, I’m not. Good people are good all the time. They don’t need rules or authority figures to be good. I was on my own as an adult for barely two weeks and I’m somebody's mistress already. I’m lying to everybody and doing things that, even a month ago, I’d have been horrified at the  _ idea _ of. I just…” Tears streamed down her face and she put a hand over her mouth so she couldn’t sob out loud. It was bad enough crying in front of him like this. She wasn’t about to go all hysterical and add one more layer to this mortification.

“Elizabeth… oh, God. What the hell have I done to you?”

She looked up, surprised by the pain in his voice and blinked at the way his eyes had welled up with tears of their own. “What?”

“I’m… I’m ruining you, aren’t I? If you’re Eve then I’m the snake, right? I’m the snake in the garden that ruined it all. It’s like I’m draggin’ you down with me.”

“No, that’s not --”

“I thought… I thought the worst case scenario here was you eventually hatin’ me, but you hatin’ yourself is  _ worse. _ It’s so much worse. ‘Cause at least I would deserve that hate. But you? You ain’t done nothin’ to nobody your whole damn life.”

“Butch, I --”

“You’re right. You’re completely right. You didn’t know what the hell you were doin’ or what you were gettin’ yourself into but I  _ did. _ I knew! I knew and I let it keep snowballin’ until… I should’ve just left you alone. If I hadn’t tried to get closer to you, then none of this would be happenin’. You’d still be happy and oblivious to everything like you should be. I’m so stupid. I’m so goddamn selfish and stupid that I couldn’t even keep my dirty hands off you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to… to… I’ve loved you for so long but that was  _ my _ problem. It wasn’t somethin’ I needed to put on you. None of this was. I’m sorry.”

She reached for him but he jerked back away from her hand and stumbled up off the bed. “Butch?”

“I’m sorry. I’m… I’m gonna stay away from you from now on, alright? I swear I will. I’m gonna help get Stevie off your tail and I’m… you… you and I are done, okay? It’s done. I won’t bother you anymore and… and you can just pretend all of this never happened, alright? It was just a bad dream. That’s all.”

Elizabeth stared up at him, unable to stop the sob caught in her throat. “You don’t want me anymore?”

“Oh… sweetheart, no, it’s…” He leaned down and cradled her face between his hands. “I’m always gonna want you, treasure. Always. But I’m bad for you. You understand? I’m poison and the more we’re together the more you’re gonna get hurt and I can’t have that. Alright? I can’t. You’re like… those little fairies, remember? The sweet little sugar plum fairies. That’s you and I’m just some dirty rat, okay? I shouldn’t be anywhere near you. It just goes against the natural order of things. It does… and I knew that. I’ve known this whole time.” His eyes roved hungrily over her like he was never going to see her again and he finally pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It was never your fault. None of this is your fault. I’m the one who dragged you down to my level. I’m sorry.”

He abruptly let her go and left without looking back once. Not even a goodbye. Elizabeth hiccupped and sat in her rumpled nest of blankets and tissues and couldn’t do a thing to stop him.

She just cried. Cried for herself but mostly cried for him. Sleep was impossible after that and she eventually ended up laying in bed, staring despondently up at the ceiling while she embraced the calming blankness of disassociation. Waiting for the moment when the lights in the hall would spring back to life and announce that morning had finally arrived.

One week. She’d had a boyfriend who loved her for one whole week. It was hard to figure out if that was something to be proud of or something to feel ashamed by.

Finally the hall brightened and she dragged herself out of bed. She really didn’t have anything to do but she kind of felt like if she stopped moving at all today, she’d never start again. Moss would eventually start to grow on her and Dad would probably notice that. Plus there was that godawful dinner tomorrow that she was going to have to sit through and somehow not burst into tears the moment she saw Butch.

So there was something  _ fun _ to look forward to.

Bathroom. Teeth. Hair. Dress.

She didn’t even have the energy to stand while the coffee percolated. Instead she sat at the kitchen table and stared at the wall. Her whole mind seemed encased in a fog. A big, blank, impenetrable fog. Not even Virgil could help her now.

“Into the eternal darkness, into fire and into ice.”

Yup. That was her life. One divine comedy.

Thankfully she had no shortage of busy work to keep her occupied. There were two boxes of programs to prepare for the musical. That took a few hours with her bone folder. Stretching was always a good thing to do and somehow that took even longer. There was just something about getting into a position and staying completely still for as long as she could manage that was weirdly satisfying today.

Lunch came and went. A handful of berries from the fridge, toast and probably a little too much cheese with another pot of coffee. So continental and grown-up. She could practically hear the tourists making kissy-poo faces at each other on the Seine.

Their apartment never really got dirty with the two of them barely ever there, but cleaning was always good, right? Sweep, sweep, sweep. Dust, dust, dust. Mop, mop, mop. Then do it all again a few times just because. Anyway, Abraxo smelled really nice when you thought about it. All bright and chipper.

She was just putting away the mop bucket for the final time when the door slid open. Her dad started to enter before wincing and taking a half step back. Coughing as the smell hit him.

“Wow, that’s… goodness. Uh… did you spill something?”

“I mopped.”

“I know, I can tell. What I was really asking was, why did you mop?”

“Oh.” She looked around at their sparkling home and shrugged. “I dunno.”

James tutted at her, “Nervous about tomorrow?”

Among other things. “I guess.”

“Well, there’s no need. I’ve already spoken quite sternly to Allen about Stevie’s… behavior. I’m sure he understands you aren’t to be further harassed.”

Yeah, sure. Keep dreaming, Daddy-O. “Thanks.”

“M’hmm.” He came over and gave her a quick hug. “You’re not to worry, alright? Everything’s fine.”

“M’hmm.”

“I was actually looking for you. I thought, since Mrs. Mack apparently has a few delusions of grandeur, we Booths could show the Macks what black tie _really_ means, hmm?”

She blinked, “What?”

“Now, I know you have those lovely cocktail dresses you like and a few things for church and all, but I think you should have a new dress for this.”

“A new dress?”

“Yes. Something ah… elegant, you know? Perhaps you can find something that screams Audrey Hepburn.”

Her brow creased, “Audrey Hepburn?”   


“M’hmm.”

“Which Audrey Hepburn?”

“Ah…  _ Roman Holiday?” _

_ “Roman Holiday.” _

“M’hmm.”

“The ball gown from the embassy scene?”

“Yes! That’s the one.”

“Isn’t that a little… ostentatious?”

“That’s what black tie means, dearest.”

“Everyone’s going to wear  _ ball gowns _ to eat  _ pot roast?” _

James chuckled, “Right? It’s ridiculous, but of course it would be unconscionably rude to say so…”

“So we’re going to  _ show _ them how ridiculous it is instead?”

“Exactly.”

She sighed and rubbed her arm nervously, “Are you sure it’s a good idea? I thought… I’ve kinda been trying to lay low with the whole Stevie situation and all.”

“Darling, let me explain something to you about men like Stevie Mack.”

“Okay.”

“Men like Stevie Mack want women who are quiet and meek. Makes it easier to isolate them and push them around, you see.”

“Right.”

“Mousy. That’s the word. He doesn’t want a partner, he wants a mouse under his boot.”

“Okay.” Well, that made sense. She was pretty sure she’d been a mouse in a past life.

“But you are not a mouse. You are quiet and you like things peaceful and all that, but you also have a mind of your own and an incredibly strong will, and that does not make you a mouse. Do you know what it makes you?”

“No.”

“It makes you a  _ duchess.” _

Elizabeth immediately made a face, “You’ve been talking to Freddie.”

“No, rather Freddie has been talking to me. See, I called him into my office today after Jonas heard from Jenny --”

“Oh, God.”

“-- about his little  _ moment _ in rehearsal last night. Now, he assured me he’d apologized --”

“He did.”

“-- but I know how you are and I know you’re prone to blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong around you, even when it’s not your fault at all. I figured I’d find you moping around in here all by your lonesome on this lovely Saturday afternoon and that will not do. So, I have arranged for your two best friends to come and help you select a proper outfit for tomorrow. Which will, one, get you out of the house  _ and _ out of your head. And two, get the three of you out in public where the rumors of any untoward behavior on your part can be quickly quashed.”

“You roped in Amata, too, huh?”

“Quite right. The best disinfectant is sunlight, Lisbet. Once you throw light on a situation, things have a tendency of working themselves out. If the three of you are seen out and about having a lovely time together as you always do, this silly rumor will die before Monday. I guarantee it.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so.” He brushed her hair back off her shoulders and smiled, “Your friends love you, sweetheart. It’s okay to ask them to help you when you’re in distress.”

She nodded, “Okay. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now, come on. They’re meeting you at the diner and I need a sandwich in the worst way.”

* * *

“Oh, oh, oh! This one! This one’s _ gorgeous!” _

Elizabeth turned from the mirror at Amata’s excited squeal and tossed the dress she’d been holding directly onto Freddie’s head with prejudice. He was still on punishment so far as they were concerned. The demotion from official ‘guy’s opinion’ person to bitch boy for the day was harsh but fair to her way of thinking.

“Oh, that’s beautiful!”

“Isn’t it, though?” Amata held the chiffon confection against her and twirled. “Lavender always looks so pretty on you, too.”

“It’s definitely going into the maybe pile.”

Freddie timidly spoke from under the discards, “You know, there’s a nice navy number behind --”

“Nobody asked you.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Amata scowled at him before carefully hanging up the newest addition to the maybe pile on it’s designated pole. “What about the pink one with the big bow?”

She wrinkled her nose, “That’s a little more Marilyn than Audrey.”

“Hmm… well, I’m pretty sure we’ve pulled every queenly dress they’ve got then. Start trying stuff on.” She turned back to Freddie and clapped twice. “Boy! You can start putting away those. We won’t be needing them.”

He sighed heavily and stood with his arms full. “Are you really gonna call me that  _ all  _ day?”

“Yes.”

Elizabeth laughed as another long suffering sigh left him and grabbed her first dress to take into the changing room. Floor length ball gown in powder blue silk with white detailing in velvet. As close to  _ Roman Holida _ y as she could get unless they wanted to custom order something.

Coming here with her friends had definitely been a good idea. Things had been a little frosty and uncomfortable at first. Other patrons had started circling like sharks the moment they arrived. Browsing entirely too close and too long near the trio to be considered polite. But after a half hour of her and Amata showing a united front with Freddie as the humbled idiot scurrying here and there at their command, most had given up trying to see anything interesting.

Which was good, since there wasn’t anything interesting to see at all and never had been.

“Tata, can you zip me up?”

“Sure.” She came over and clicked her tongue the second Elizabeth opened the door. “Lizzie.”

“What?”

“You didn’t tell me your dad got you a new necklace! Was that for your birthday?”

“O-oh.” Her hand belatedly covered the locket and she immediately averted her eyes and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s um… it’s got my mother’s picture in it.”

“Oh, that’s sweet.”

"M'hmm. Dad’s always sweet like that.”

“I wish I’d met her. She always sounds so amazing every time he talks about her.”

“Yeah, she does.” Beautiful, brilliant, beloved. Her mother had been a paragon of virtues. Perfection walking. It was a hard thing to live up to.

“Just get the little hook and… done. Alright, go knock Freddie’s socks off.”

“Ha.”

She stepped out to the mirrors and hopped up on the little stool. The gown still dragged the floor a bit and she frowned. Who the hell had they made this for? She had some of the longest legs around and she’d still have to wear ridiculously tall heels to have the hem fall correctly.

“It’s too long.”

Amata frowned thoughtfully, too. “Maybe they can hem it in time?”

“I dunno. I’m not really feeling it.” The square neckline was modest and all but she still felt like she needed more up top to really sell it.

“Hang on. I don’t think we’re getting the full affect.” She twisted Elizabeth’s hair up into a quick bun and pushed a few pins in to hold it loosely. “Now stand on your toes.”

“Okay.” She rose up until she was nearly on pointe and laughed as it still swished against the carpet, “See? It’s just too long.”

“Hmm. I guess. Okay, next!”

Three gowns later and Elizabeth was starting to wonder if this was some kind of wild goose chase. Every dress was almost right, but not quite. The fourth one was extraordinarily heavy with its glittering overlay of tiny little crystals. It was pretty and all but so  _ fancy _ even  _ ostentatious _ didn’t come close to covering it. She liked the high neckline and dramatic keyhole slit back though, and she was able to get it on by herself which was a bonus.

She lifted the train in her arm and came out of the fitting room. “Tata? Do you think this one’s a bit…” She finally glanced up as heavy silence met her and blinked at the new arrivals. “Much?”

Susie bounced in place and clapped, “Oh, Elizabeth! You look  _ divine!” _

“Uh…” It was the only thing she could make come from her mouth. Her brain had frozen solid. 

Butch was standing right behind her. Indolent and bored as ever with his hands in his pockets. Pointedly looking anywhere but at her.

“It’s  _ just like _ the dress from  _ My Fair Lady! _ Y’know, when Eliza goes to that ball and meets the queen of Transylvania!”

Elizabeth finally realized Freddie was watching her with growing concern and cleared her throat before mumbling, “It’s um… that… that was a sheath dress and this one’s more a modified A line.”

She continued on as if she hadn’t spoken at all, “And everybody gets in line and the queen pauses as Eliza curtseys and says  _ ‘Charming. Simply charming!’” _

“She was played by a real life baroness so…”

“And then everyone totally believes she’s a Hungarian princess!”

“Right.”

“Oh, do it! Do the curtsy! Amata! You be the queen!”

“Uh… sure?” She shrugged at her as they turned towards each other. “I guess I’m the queen of Transylvania.”

That horrible itchiness was creeping up her back as God only knew how many pairs of eyes in the store swiveled in her direction. Elizabeth dropped her gaze and tried to breathe nice and even through her nose. Her slow, controlled deep curtsy hardly wobbled at all as she sank nearly to the floor.

“Charming. Simply charming.”

Susie applauded like she was front row center at the Globe. “Oh! Oh you  _ have _ to wear that one tomorrow! I will never be able to explain to Mom how pretty you are in it on my own!”

Genuflecting done for the moment, Elizabeth rose and shook her head, “It’s… it’s a little too formal, really.”

“No, no, no, it’s perfect! Gosh! You really do look just like --”

Freddie mumbled, “A duchess.”

“A… yes! That’s _it!_ A duchess!” She tilted her head a little, “Princesses are like… too prissy. But a  _ duchess! _ That’s it exactly. I think it's something in the eyes. Your lashes are so dark it looks like you have perfect eyeliner on all the time! I’m so jealous! What do you think, Butchie?”

“Huh? What?”

“Elizabeth’s eyes! Aren’t they pretty? She’s like our very own Liz Taylor right here in the vault.”

She couldn’t take being hit with that cheery grin head on, so she climbed onto the stool and blindly stared at herself in the mirror. “That’s… sweet of you to say. Thank you.”

She didn’t seem to notice her boyfriend’s obvious reluctance to engage and prattled on, “Is it true that Elizabeth Taylor had violet eyes?”

Amata scoffed and fluffed her train, “No one has  _ violet  _ eyes.”

“Yes, that’s… that’s right. Elizabeth Taylor had very dark blue eyes but not true violet. That was just a marketing thing they used to increase her box office appeal.”

“Hmm. So are you guys just here to find a new dress for tomorrow?”

“Yup.”

“So am I!” She grinned, “Great minds, right?”

“Ha, yeah. Yeah, that’s…” Her eyes caught his for the briefest of seconds in the glass and she felt like her stomach was suddenly doing cartwheels. “Well, we’ll… we’ll just get out of your way. We’re all done here. This one is… it’s fine.”

Her friend held the overlay up a little and made a face at the weight of it, “You sure?”

“Yup. Yup, totally sure. This is the one.”

Susie pouted, “Aw. You don’t have to run off.”

“I’ve… I’ve got… there’s…”

“El’s gotta run through some stuff for Homecoming.” Freddie shrugged, “Busy, busy, busy. You know how it is.”

“Oh, poo.” She pouted, “What’s the name of your little band again?”

“Freddie and the Forzas.”

“What’s a forza?”

“It’s Italian for ‘with force’.”

“Oh. Okay. Neat.”

Amata pushed her gently and whispered so only she could hear, “Stupid Macks. Go. We’ve got this.”

“Thanks.” She hurried away to the relative safety of the dressing room and stayed there far too long to be polite. A polite knock on the door had her jumping, “Y-yes?”

“It’s me, El. You okay?”

“I’m… yeah. Sure. Totally. I’m…” She sniffled and hiccupped a little as he opened the door. Goddamn him and his sweet, dumb face. That understanding look he was giving her, the one that clearly said he saw straight through her bullshit but he'd keep playing along anyway if she needed him to, was just too much to handle. Before she knew it she was emphatically shaking her head as he nodded along. “I’m not fine. I’m  _ not  _ fine. Oh, God. Freddie. I think I’m about to have a heart attack.”

“Are you ready to talk about it?”

“I… I can’t. Amata’ll never --”

“Okay. It’s okay, I get it. I know how she can be. Listen, I’m gonna offer to walk you home and we can talk then, alright?”

“Alright.”

“Get your crap and let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

“Okay.”

Five minutes later and she'd purchased her new dress, now safely tucked away in its protective cover. Her dad was down five hundred credits, but given the circumstances, he was probably going to be fine with that. Freddie slung the plastic garment bag over his shoulder and immediately made a face.

“Jesus, this thing’s gotta weigh fifty pounds.”

Amata scowled at him, “No complaining! You’re still in trouble, mister!”   


“Right, right, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t let him give you a hard time, Lizzie. He steps outta line an  _ inch, _ you lemme know.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She waved as she headed for the Overseer’s office. “I’ll see you at the diner later, Freddie. Behave yourself.”

“An attempt will be made, alright? Yeesh.” They started off in the opposite direction and he waited until they’d turned a corner to speak. “So… let’s start with the sweetheart locket you’ve got on. 'Cause I'm betting that isn't from dear old dad, yeah?"

Elizabeth sighed, “It doesn’t matter anymore really. We broke up.”

“You  _ broke up?! _ So you  _ were _ together then?”

“Not really… and like I said, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Are you positive? 'Cause it sure seemed like it still matters. El, you turned white as a sheet when you saw him.”

“I did?”

“And I’ve seen guys look less uncomfortable goin’ in for a VD test from your dad than he looked when he saw you come out.”

“Ew.”

“So what happened?”

“It… was stupid. It was all me. I… I dunno. I plead temporary insanity, I guess.”

He hummed thoughtfully, “How far’d he get?”

She made a face, “Pretty damn far.”

“Shit. You really loved him, huh? Or you thought you did, anyway. That  _ sucks. _ I’m sorry.”

“Well… whatcha gonna do, right? It’s happened, now it’s over and I guess life goes on.”

“Yeah.”

“It was just… kinda nice, y’know? Having somebody want to be with me like that.”

“Hey, there’s plenty of other guys who’ll treat you a heck of a lot nicer than that asshole ever would who wanna be with you. Okay? There are.”

“I don’t suppose you have a twin who’s into weird, reclusive introverts, do you? Or a cousin maybe?”

“Not since the last time I checked, no.”

“Dang.”

“Look, I know you think of yourself as some kinda wallflower, but that’s not true. Or, it wasn’t until you put yourself on the wall. Guys have always noticed you, you just never noticed them back.”

“Freddie, Wally Mack looked at me yesterday like I was a shit-eating amoeba stuck to the bottom of his boot.”

“Wally Mack is a fuckin’ idiot, alright? He doesn't count.”

“And the only other guy who’s ever seemed into me is his creepy big brother.”

“And Butch.”

She groaned quietly at the name, “Right.”

“And me. Once upon a time.”

“Once upon a time.”

“So that’s at least three and a half right there.”

“Ha. Yeah.”

“You’re just intimidatin’ to most guys, El. That’s all. If you really wanna find somebody, you know we can put a bug in Amata’s ear and I’m sure she’ll have all the eligible bachelors cataloged and lined up in alphabetical order outside your door not even twelve hours later.”

“No. No, I’m… I think I’m done with all that stuff.”

“Hey, come on. Don’t let one crappy relationship ruin your life.”

“Okay, then I’m done for a while, alright? Anyway, I already told Susie I was celibate for my art so she’d get Stevie off my back. How’s it going to look if I’m suddenly dating every other guy in the vault?”

“Right, right. Okay. Well… when you’re ready, lemme know.”

“Thanks.”

“And you might wanna take off the locket before tomorrow so that dumbass doesn’t get some half-formed idea in his little pea brain.”

“What?”

“A guy sees a chick wearin’ a gift he gave her after the breakup and he'll think he’s still got a chance.”

“He will?”   


“Yeah. That’s why most girls either burn everything or they send it all back in a box.”

“Oh.” She hated the idea of burning it. Almost as much as she hated the idea of returning it. “What if I just stashed it someplace? Would that…”

“Yeah, that’s probably fine. You’re not exactly the scorched earth type anyway. He should get the message so long as you show up tomorrow wearin’ somethin’ else or whatever.”

“Okay. Thanks, Freddie. It’s nice to have somebody around who understands the mysterious inner workings of the adolescent male mind.”

He snorted, “You sound like your dad when you talk like that, just so you know.”

“Yeah, it just slips out sometimes.”

Sleep wasn’t optional that night, it was mandatory. Her body was finally exhausted enough that it overrode her mind’s whining insistence that they _needed_ to stay up obsessing over every single moment of the five minutes she’d seen Butch into the wee hours. The moment she woke up though, it was all she could think about. Trying to focus on anything else just seemed to make it worse, so she gave up by the time she was brushing her teeth.

For one thing, he’d looked  _ so _ cute. God. That killed her. It really did. She’d thought his jacket was so goofy and passé for the longest time but now? Now it just  _ did _ things to her. Made her think about last Sunday when she’d worn it and nothing else while riding his…

Okay, no. Moving on. Item two. She was  _ mortified _ at the state she’d been in when he saw her. Sure, the dress had been pretty and all, but she had  _ not. _ Not even a little. Amata had fretted over the dark circles under her eyes and the listless expression she kept lapsing into for the first thirty minutes of their shopping extravaganza. Even Freddie had asked her if she’d skipped her usual pot of coffee that morning.

Not to mention the chapped lips and lack of mascara or anything else. Normally those things wouldn’t really be such a big deal, but next to Susie’s eternal flawlessness it was hard to not feel like a troll. Plus the silly temporary bun Amata had put her hair into just to get it off her neck made her look like a crazy person. Probably. She assumed.

Certainly it had looked crazy to her, anyway.

Item three, Susie. Susie and her almost comically bountiful rack and big pretty green eyes and always perfectly coiffed shining red-gold hair. She honestly did look a lot like Ann-Margaret. She did. There was no denying that. Elizabeth was fairly certain she just woke up that way every day while pretty little cartoon birdies fluttered around her head. Or if she didn’t, she certainly didn’t step foot outside her room until she looked like did. She would never be the type of girl to not even moisturize after a night of ugly crying and dry heaving. Even the idea of it was nuts.

They looked like movie stars together. Actual movie stars. Elvis and Ann-Margaret when they did  _ Viva las Vegas. _ Elvis wished he had Butch’s body though. Poor guy would look like a string bean next to all that beef.

Getting sidetracked again. Item four.

The locket. Goddamn the stupid locket. She hadn’t even thought about taking it off. Freddie’s logic was undeniable though. A guy would probably get ideas seeing the girl he’d just dumped still wearing it. That was… bad? That was bad. He shouldn’t get ideas. She should have enough dignity to not want to cling to his leg and beg him to take her back.

She didn’t, but she should. She really should.

Well, he’d already seen it on her and obviously he didn’t care. He’d barely even looked at her twice the whole time. Maybe he just didn’t even realize it was around her neck still. Even if he did, guys didn’t really expect you to just turn off every emotion you felt for them just like that, did they? There wasn’t a switch she could flip that would make her stop loving him just because he’d said they were done.

He’d actually called himself poison and that was still breaking her heart. She’d just been trying to work through a crisis of conscience and he’d seen it as evidence that he’d corrupted her beyond all measure and then just… didn’t want her around him anymore. She was still kind of stuck on that. He’d said it wasn’t her and that he’d always want her, but it sure seemed like once the bloom was off the rose here, he’d suddenly felt compelled to set her aside. Like it had just been her ignorance and naivety that had been attractive to him and the rest of her just wasn’t worth the trouble. The whole idea made her feel wretched like she wanted to vomit.

Item five. Somehow reconciling her family’s actual rep within the vault with what she’d always thought of it as. Freddie had said there were plenty of guys who’d be happy to take her out if she would just look around and notice one. That was weird, too. The whole idea that she and her dad both were considered hot tickets around here. Certainly she’d never felt like a hot ticket.

She knew a few women occasionally made eyes at Dad but boy howdy were they barking up the wrong tree. She totally got it though. He was handsome in a classic sort of way for his age and, unlike most of the older men around here, seemed impervious to middle age spread. Kinda had a whole Gregory Peck playing Atticus Finch in  _ To Kill a Mockingbird _ thing happening. Right down to the single dadhood of a weird little girl and the blisteringly robust moral fiber. She’d always thought it would be nice if her dad found somebody but it probably wasn’t ever going to happen. There wasn’t a single day that went by that he didn’t talk about her mother and how much he still adored and missed her.

And who could blame him, really? The woman had been a dead ringer for a young Elizabeth Taylor. From  _ Father’s Little Dividend _ or when she did  _ Little Women. _ Not later works where her legendary sex appeal had bloomed into a force of nature. The early stuff where she was still mostly sweet smiles and flashing eyes. According to Dad, her mother had been far more intelligent and downright gifted in any science field she dipped her toe into than he, or anyone else for that matter, ever could. A  _ true _ prodigy. Not a fake one like Elizabeth who only did well at things because she busted her ass at them. Her mother had been able to just show up and ace everything. Who else in the vault could come close to matching that?

She’d always viewed their family as sort of just… there. Not really noticed by anyone. Just quietly working behind the scenes to make sure things ran smoothly. That’s what Dad did in the clinic and it’s what she did in the arts department. They were just modest, quiet people who kept their heads down, stayed busy with work and otherwise left everyone alone.

It was odd to think their natural tendency towards reclusiveness had apparently been mistook for some kind of snobbery all these years. People saw simple introversion and mistakenly called it aloofness. Elizabeth had basically been born awkward with the additional handicap of having no mother around to teach her how to be ladylike. So she’d always made an extra effort to be as polite and soft-spoken as possible to compensate for that. It was kind of hilarious that from the outside that awkwardness came off as haughtiness instead. She certainly didn’t think of herself as a duchess type but clearly everyone else did.

She’d known Amata was thought of as the vault princess, but she’d never once considered she was the lady-in-waiting here. Did that make Freddie the courtier? Her head tilted as she considered it. That… actually made a lot of sense. He’d taken up guitar to impress Amata. Wrote songs for her and then sang them for crowds at dances to sneak his feelings past her father’s ever present authority. He’d bowed and scraped to within an inch of his life just for the honor of being permitted to ask to take her to prom. After years of obsequious flattery and deferential behavior, their relationship finally had the official stamp of approval.

So long as the Overseer thought they were still firmly stuck on first base, that is. If he found out Freddie had gotten a pretty nice present himself on Amata’s birthday, he’d go _nuclear._ No question. So far as Alphonse was concerned, his daughter was as pure as the driven snow and would remain that way until marriage.

Guy was an idiot.

Actually, now that she was thinking about it, most guys around here kind of seemed like idiots from where she was standing. Alphonse was an idiot for thinking if he just kept Amata wrapped tightly enough in cotton batting, she’d never break free. He confused control for love and that was gross. Her dad was an idiot for stubbornly clinging to the memory of a woman gone nearly two decades. Freddie was an idiot for more reasons than she could possibly list, as much as she loved him and she did. Butch was an idiot, too, for thinking of her as some princess in a tower too pure and precious for mortal hands to touch. Every man in the Mack family was a  _ massive _ idiot, no question. They were all big bullies who thought their way was the only way and didn’t even realize that fear and admiration were two entirely different things.

Then again, was she any better? On some level, she knew Butch was right about their relationship. For the wrong reasons, sure, but still. She wasn’t some celestial being so far above him that he may as well be an ant under her foot. That part was about the dumbest thing she’d ever heard come out of anyone’s mouth. But there was no denying that the longer they were together, the more danger they were both in. Life would be simpler and safer if they just stayed apart. Her life, anyway. As things stood, she could slip right back into that happy little niche she’d carved out for herself no problem. Just… do exactly what he said. Pretend it was all a dream and shrug it off. Given enough time and her excellent denial skills plus her ability to bury her head in the sand so deep not even an ostrich could find her, she could do it.

She didn’t  _ want _ to do it, was the thing.

Her Pipboy finally buzzed with the alarm she’d set and she started to get ready for this simple family meal that had somehow transformed itself into a full-fledged dinner party. A whole day completely wasted being stuck in her head, running around in circles and she hadn’t really accomplished anything. That was pathetic. She felt… slightly less awful than she had though. Her usual default emotional state of patient resignation had started to reassert itself. Finally. That was definitely a good thing.

So long as she could just keep it together for the hour it would take to wine and dine the Macks, she’d be alright.

Thirty minutes after she’d started, and ten minutes until dinner, she stepped out of her room. Tasteful heels, pearl studs in her ears and her hair piled up on her head in a far more modest Gibson girl bun than Eliza’s epic, no doubt sewn in, completely wrong for the period up-do. She kept her makeup simple and light because there was just no competing with the Mack women and their pinup perfection so why bother trying? Anyway, the dress was the star here. It really was gorgeous. Nothing like what she would have normally chosen but nice. The way all the crystals caught the light and threw rainbows around her when the overhead fluorescents hit it just right was weirdly cheerful and comforting.

Her dad was already waiting for her, adjusting his cufflinks and the way his mouth fell open when he saw her was pretty gratifying in an embarrassing sort of way. “Good God.”

“Is it too much? It’s too much, right?” She nervously went to tuck her hair behind her ear and then remembered it wasn’t supposed to be behind her ear and lowered her hand.

“Darling, it’s perfect. You look radiant.”

“Really?”

“I honestly thought you were your mother for a moment. You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

Elizabeth beamed. That was the highest compliment she could possibly receive. “Thanks, Dad.”

Just a hint of a smug smirk peeked through his usual kindly smile, “Let’s see Stevie Mack deal with this. If that troglodyte isn’t completely cowed by you by the end of the night, I’ll eat my stethoscope.”

“How on earth is he supposed to be cowed by me?”

“Sweetheart, you look excruciatingly intimidating right now. A simple lift of your eyebrow at the right moment will no doubt turn his spine into jelly. The man’s a coward, remember? You are clearly too much of a lady for him and he’s going to realize it tonight. I will admit, I feel rather bad for whichever shy little violet he eventually plucks to be his bride, but I will be damned if he comes anywhere near mine.”

She wanted to roll her eyes but didn’t. He was just as ridiculous as Freddie when you got down to it. “You look really nice. I can’t remember the last time I saw you out of your lab coat.”

He grinned and suddenly looked ten years younger as he flicked his cuffs into place and did a little turn. “The name's Booth. James Booth.”

Elizabeth giggled, “Okay, I hope you got that out of your system because that was the only time you’re allowed to use that line tonight.”

“Oh, no! I didn’t realize there was a limit.”

“There’s always a limit.”

James pouted, “Catherine always thought my Bond jokes were funny.”

“M’hmm. Keep telling yourself that, Dad.”

He laughed and motioned towards the door, “Well? Shall we?”

She sighed as they started off, “I guess. Let’s get this over with.”

“We can leave after one hour. I’ll make an excuse if it comes to that.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s what dads are for, Lisbet. Remember, no worries.”

“No worries.”

“Right.” He glanced over and hid a grin, “Things are going well with your actual beau, hmm?”

“What?”

“I was worried after that little spat, but uh…” He pointed at her locket. “That’s got apology present written all over it.”

“Oh. Oh, no, he… uh… there was a different present for that.” She shrugged, “That’s where all those oatbran muffins came from.”

“Ah. I see. First he plies you with baked goods and then he jumped right to jewelry, hmm? Quite an escalation.”

“There were roses somewhere in there, too.”

“My word, Elizabeth. He sounds fairly smitten with you.”

“Well… he says he is but things are… not going so well.”

“Oh?”

“He um… I guess he thinks I’m too good for him.”

“Well, it's nice to know he's not a fool. That's absolutely right. You are definitely too good for him.”

“You don’t even know who he is.”

“Doesn’t matter. No boy in this vault is good enough for you. That’s my official stance as your father.”

She laughed, “Oh, okay. Thanks, I guess.”

“Hmm. Well… the course of true love never did run smooth.”

_ “A Midsummer Night’s Dream. _ Lysander to Hermia. Act one, scene one.”

“Very good.”

“Thank you.”

He grumped, “I know Alphonse is particularly enamored with musicals, but I do wish he’d allow for at least  _ one  _ play per year.”

“It would be a lot less work, that’s for sure.”

“Seems a shame you did all that Shakespearean study and all for nothing.”

“Hmm. Well, Freddie’s good at writing songs. Maybe one day I’ll convince him to do Hamlet: The Musical.”

“No.”

“Aw.”

“Are you trying to give your old man a heart attack? We’ve been through this. You know I’m a purist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm technically supposed to be on a little vacation from writing, but I already had this chapter fully edited & ready to go, so I managed to squeak it past my keeper. LOL
> 
> Title is a quote from Khalil Gibran (writer, poet, visual artist).
> 
> (Also yes this is my favorite James. He's where Elizabeth gets her snark from 100%. LOL)


	9. Give Blood to Their Fantasies

“Oh. My.  _ God!” _

Elizabeth did her best to not wince and keep a polite smile on her face, “Hello, Susie.”

“You look incredible!”

“Thank you.”

“And Doctor Booth! Wow!”

“Good evening, Susan.”

“You look just like James Bond!”

His eyes met Elizabeth’s and they shared an amused look as he nodded, “Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. Your dress is most becoming. Not everyone can pull off aquamarine so well.”

“Gosh, thanks! Come on, Elizabeth. Mom’s gonna flip!” She grabbed her hand and unceremoniously dragged her into their home. “Mom! They’re here!”

The Mack family’s quarters were easily the largest in the vault. Supposedly, your housing was entirely dependent on how many children you’d managed to crank out, but given that Butch had seemed shocked at how nice her place was, she was betting there was a bit more to it than that. She’d never really been inside many other people’s homes before. The Almodovars, sure, but their place was nearly identical to her own. Freddie’s mom was always too tired for company, so she’d only seen glimpses of their living room.

She’d never seen a place like this.

For one, their floors were carpeted. Green shag so plush it made navigating in her heels a little tricky until she got used to it as Susie dragged her across the room. Dark wood paneling on the walls. The faux windows all had little pastoral animatronic scenes in them to make you feel like you weren’t actually buried under one hundred tons of solid rock.

Furniture fancy enough she was actually nervous to sit on it. Bookshelves lined with expensive knickknacks and the occasional hardback tome. Flowers absolutely everywhere. Real working fake fireplace. The family portrait, done in tasteful oils, hung proudly above it. A beautiful, antique Westinghouse radio filled the space with quiet classical music in high fidelity so perfect she almost wanted to weep.

“Your place is super nice, Susie.”

“You think?” She wrinkled her nose and pulled her into the equally impressive, gleaming kitchen, “I dunno. It’s all kinda blech, right? Old people junk.”

Mrs. Mack turned as the girls entered and smiled brightly at her, “Elizabeth! Darling!”

“Uh… hello, Mrs. Mack.”

“Oh, call me Gloria, sweetheart. You’re not a little girl anymore.”

“Okay. Thank you, Gloria. You have a lovely home.”

“Thank you! That’s very kind of you to say!”

“Mom, isn’t she  _ gorgeous!  _ I told you the dress was amazing, right?!”

“It certainly is! You look very elegant, dear.”

“Thank you. So do you.” Elegant and downright _foxy._ Definitely not many moms in the vault could pull off a mermaid gown in stunning amethyst satin. For one, they just didn’t have the figure.

“You should see Doctor Booth! He looks like a movie star!”

Gloria laughed, “The Booths are an attractive family, that’s for certain. You two run along. I’ll be out in a moment.”

“‘Kay!” Susie hauled her off back into the living room and headed straight for the liquor cabinet. “You want a drink?”

“Oh, I’m… I usually don’t…”

“Mom says everybody’s supposed to have a drink before dinner.”

“Oh.” She finally found her dad in a clump with Wally and Allen in the corner and smiled as he raised his glass to her. Stevie was apparently lurking elsewhere for the moment which was no doubt a blessing from on high. “Right. Okay. I guess… I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“Seven and seven it is!”

She hummed, “Seven and… isn’t that kind of strong?”

“Sure is!”

“Uh… what about wine? Is there any wine?”

“That’s for drinking  _ with _ dinner, silly.”

“Of course.” She stood with her hands politely folded while Susie mixed their drinks. Small talk. She was supposed to engage in polite small talk now, right? “Your mom is really pretty.”

“I know, right?” Susie finally passed her a tall glass and clinked it with her own before taking a sip. “I’ve heard your mom was super pretty, too.”

“Dad says she was.”

“I can’t imagine growing up without a mom.” Her eyes went all somber and serious for a moment, “Listen, I feel kinda bad for always ignoring you at school when we were kids. You were always so busy with your dancing and all and… I dunno, I just never felt like we had anything in common, I guess.”

“Sure. I understand.”

“But we  _ do! _ And I feel like such a ninny for never noticing! You’re into movies, I’m into movies. We both like to sing and dance! Who says we can’t be friends, right?”

“Right. Right, that’s… we’re friends.” She shrugged, “I mean, to be honest, I never actually noticed you ignoring me, so…”

“Well, of course you didn’t! You were always working on stuff. Even when we were like, in the third grade, you were already working.”

“That’s true.”

“I can remember watching you flex your arches during homeroom and at the time I was like ‘who is she tryin’ to impress?’, but I get it now. A true artist is constantly improving their craft! All the time! You can’t stop for anything!”

“Right.”

“I bet you’re as good as Margret Fontaine by this point!”

She frowned a bit, “Do you mean Margot Fonteyn?”

“Oh! Oh, right! Yeah, her.”

“Thank you. That’s… I’m nowhere near prima ballerina status, but that’s very nice of you to say.”

“Gosh, you’re always so modest.” She made a face, “There is no way I’d be like that if I even had half your talent! I’d be a total diva.”

“Oh, it’s… it’s not really talent. I just practice a lot.”

“There you go again! Being too modest! You know, it’s okay to take a _ little _ credit.” She pouted at her before brightening and bouncing in place. “Oh! Oh, Butchie! Come here and say hi to Elizabeth!”

Oh, God. It was happening. Elizabeth used her temporary distraction to take a deep, steadying breath and slapped a polite, bland smile on her face. Actually looking at him just wasn’t an option so she kept her eyes down and hoped everyone would just assume she was shyer than she actually was.

His shoes finally shuffled into view. “Hi.”

She nodded and managed to mumble out a reply, “Good evening.”

“Aw, she’s embarrassed. That's so  _ cute!” _ Susie took her arm and tugged her close like they were super BFFs now. “It’s okay. I already talked to him about the whole thing. Butchie, apologize.”

Elizabeth blinked and finally looked up. “What?”

“Yeah, uh… I’m sorry I badgered you into seein’ a movie with me that one time under, y’know, false pretenses or whatever.”

“Oh.” He couldn’t seem to meet her eyes, either, but now that she’d looked at him, she wasn't able to stop herself. “That’s… fine. Apology accepted.”

Susie clapped, “There! Now we’re all friends!”

“Sure. Sure, friends. Um… I’m sorry, where’s the powder room, please?”

“Gosh, you're always so polite. I've only ever heard my mom actually call it that. The  _ powder room.” _

“Hmm.”

“It’s just down the hall and to the left. You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you. I’ll um… I’ll be… excuse me.” She hurried away and ignored her dad’s troubled look as she passed. She didn’t even realize she was still carrying her ridiculous drink until she closed the door behind her and immediately flushed it down the toilet. There was no way in hell she was getting through this evening unless she kept her wits about her.

Their powder room was every bit as pretentious as the rest of the place. Gilded pink wall paper covered in cherubs that seemed to all stare into her soul. The way they bounced off the huge mirror over the sink actually made her feel a little disoriented and sick.

Or maybe that was just the panic.

Soaps carved into roses sat in tiny dishes along the vanity. Towels so pristine they had to be new. The whole commode may as well be carpeted with how much fluffy pink fabric it had been swaddled in. Lace for days. Everywhere. A whole tray of expensive perfumes and colognes for freshening up. Jordan almonds and buttermints in crystal canisters with brass lids.

Her nose wrinkled. That was actually disgusting if you thought about it. Who keeps candy two feet from a toilet? Covered or not, that was gross. Plus, thanks to her dad’s ranting on the subject, she knew all the statistics on how few men bothered with washing their hands in the bathroom. God only knew what germs were teeming on those deceptively pristine pastel surfaces. She was definitely going to have to remember all these tiny details. Amata and Freddie  _ had _ to be able to picture it with perfect clarity or they’d never understand just how absurd it all was.

She turned the water on for privacy’s sake and stared herself down. The high color in her cheeks notwithstanding, she looked practically normal. Not at all like somebody who was desperate to crawl all over her hostess’s eventual son-in-law. You couldn’t even tell there was a party happening in her panties to rival New York City New Years Eve 2076 just from being in the same room as him. Or that the other, far more sensible half of her wanted to go shove her head in the oven.

“You can do this. It’s just one hour. It’s no big deal and nobody knows and nobody has to know. This is totally fine. Just go out there and channel Princess Grace as hard you can. It’s okay. No worries.  _ No worries. _ This is… this is all fine.”

The second she opened the door she realized that no, this was not all fine. It wasn’t all fine at all.

Elizabeth stared up at Butch hovering uncertainly in the hall and though her mouth opened, she couldn’t actually make words come out. She just froze like some kind of dumb animal caught in a predator’s gaze.

No, that was too far. He certainly wasn’t looking at her like a predator. If she had to match the expression, the only thing that sprang to mind was Moses when he saw the burning bush in  _ the Ten Commandments. _ He was looking at her like he’d seen the face of God and couldn’t look away. There was pain and guilt in his eyes still, sure, but the ardent adoration outshone everything else.

“Hey.”

She started and finally managed to say something. “Hey.”

He seemed to finally catch himself and jerked his eyes away from her face, “You um… you look… it’s a nice dress.”

The realization that a week ago, almost down to the hour, they’d been sneaking off to begin what would forever be exalted as the greatest night of her life hit her suddenly, but she stamped it out before the idea caught. That was a bad road to go down right now. If she started thinking about that, getting lost in her head reliving that night on what should have been their one week anniversary, she’d go mad.

“Thank you.” She nodded politely and stared at their feet. It was just easier that way. “You look very nice in your suit.”

Butch moved just a few inches closer. “Elizabeth, I… I uh…" He sighed, "It’s time for dinner. Susie said I should get you.”

So this was really happening. They were just ‘friends’ now. A palpable sense of defeat settled around her and smothered the little flowers of hope she hadn’t even realized had started growing in her soul. She nodded again and silently followed him to the dining room. Wrestling with herself the whole way.

This was… good. This was fine. It was just how things had to be. She knew that. Anyone with sense would no doubt be grateful to him for being so dignified about everything. There was another thing to be disappointed about in herself. The class clown had outstripped her, the overachieving apple polisher, for maturity.

The ladies were already seated when they arrived, but the men stood by their chairs, waiting for her to join them. Apparently Gloria must have read Emily Post at some point because she’d arranged them all according to near ancient customs. Sort of. Her at one end of the table. Elizabeth’s dad on her right side and Wally on the other. It was interesting that she was claiming herself as the head host and not her husband. Mr. Mack sat at the other end, Susie to his right and an empty chair,  _ her _ empty chair, on his left. Stevie stood beside Susie and it took a moment for her to realize the other empty chair across from his had to be Butch’s. Right smack next to hers.

Of course. Couples were always separated for formal dinners. It encouraged more stimulating conversation amongst the guests. Shouldn’t that same rule apply for siblings? Plus, she was a guest so shouldn’t she be on the host’s right and not the left? True there were only three women to five men here, but having two Mack kids together on one side of the table just seemed kind of --  
“Ah, Elizabeth. There you are, dearest.” Her dad smiled encouragingly at her. “You’re on Allen’s left. Susie’s our co-hostess this evening.”

“Oh.” M’kay. “Of course. Gloria, I'm sorry for the delay.” She hurried to her chair and sat, murmuring thanks as Mr. Mack scooted her in.

Gloria beamed indulgently at her, “Oh, that’s alright, sweetheart. Gentlemen, please be seated.” She huffed a bit and pouted at James. “I just don’t know how you did it all by yourself, Doctor. Elizabeth is a perfect lady. I bet my Sue-Sue could learn a thing or two from her on etiquette.”

Stevie snorted and lightly elbowed his sister, “She could definitely stand to learn how to keep her trap shut for longer than five minutes.”

His eyebrow quirked up as he settled his napkin in his lap, “Nonsense. Susan’s an absolute delight. Aren’t you, dear?”

She smiled wide, “Gosh, I hope so!”

James chuckled and the first course, second if you wanted to be technical about it, was served. Bowls of some kind of light broth with a few razor thin slices of carrot floating in it. It was certainly no vegetable soup a lá Amata, but it wasn’t terrible. Though she wondered if Gloria had ever heard of any spice other than salt before.

Elizabeth watched Andy serve everyone and frowned thoughtfully, “If Andy’s here, who’s working at the diner tonight?”

Mr. Mack barely looked up from his bowl as he grunted an answer, “Closed early.”

“O-oh.” Had people known they were going to close early? Certainly she hadn’t heard but according to Freddie she was hopelessly oblivious.

Unfortunately not quite so oblivious that she couldn’t feel the awful, oozing weight of Stevie’s eyes on her though. She glanced up at him and the way he was leering at her, practically drooling into his bowl, had her wanting to hide under the table. She managed a polite nod his way and kept at her soup. Or tried to, anyway.

“Wow, look at what she does with her spoon!”

Elizabeth looked up at Susie, “What?”

“It’s so  _ dainty! _ I like that move you do. Pulling it across the brim like that? That’s smart!”

She’d never felt more like some poor animal at the zoo in her life as when the rest of the table’s eyes went to her hand. “Um… thank you?” How the hell else did you eat soup?! Maybe Gloria saved herself the aggravation and just let them feed from a trough most days? That would make sense if the disquieting slurping noises coming from Mr. Mack were any indication.

James cleared his throat quietly, “Gloria, tell me, have you ever heard of  _ pot-au-feu?” _

“Oh, no, I haven't. Is that French? It sounds French.”

“Yes. Yes, it is. My wife made it quite often. It was her favorite soup. Absolutely delicious. You should try it sometime. I’m sure you can find the recipe in the library. Dates all the way back to the sixteen hundreds, you know.”  
“Goodness, I had no idea.”

“Hmm.”

They somehow got through the _l_ _ 'entree _ and fish courses. (Fish in this instance being a tuna-flavored meat substitute cut into the rough shape of a trout.) Just two more to go and then they were done. Hopefully. God willing no one had told her a proper formal dinner had no less than seven courses unless you wanted to be considered gauche.

Elizabeth smiled politely as a plate of pot roast was set before her. “This looks delicious.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. It’s Allen’s favorite.” She smiled at her husband from across the table. “Isn’t that right, honey?”

“Yup.”

She nodded, “It’s like I'm always telling Susie. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

James caught her eye as he surreptitiously tapped his nose and she nodded. That was her cue. Time to start the show.

“I’m completely hopeless in the kitchen. I can hardly manage toast most mornings.”

Gloria’s head tilted like she was a whole new lifeform to study.  _ “Really?” _

She shrugged carelessly, “Afraid so. If it hadn’t been for Amata, I’d have surely failed Home Ec.”

“Goodness me.” She mulled it over for a moment and finally nodded, “Ah, I suppose that makes sense though. You being raised by such a busy man and all. I’m sure it couldn’t be helped.”

Mr. Mack scowled in disapproval, “If Amata could learn, I don’t see why she couldn’t.”

Susie pouted at him, “Aw, come on, Daddy. Elizabeth has always been so busy with her art and all!”

She nodded, “Yes, that’s true. I’m very, very busy. All the time. Lessons and teaching, rehearsals and rewrites. Most days I can’t even find the time to practice my own stuff.”

James pouted sympathetically at her, “You work far too hard, darling. Up at five every morning and out like a light by ten. I can’t even remember the last time you actually took a day off for yourself. Even on the weekends you’re always in the studio or a practice room somewhere. A father worries, you know.”

Their host scoffed, “It’s utterly ridiculous. If Alphonse is so damn concerned with the population in the vault, he ought to outlaw women going to work in the first place. A girl doesn’t need so many distractions. Takes the focus off finding a husband and motherhood.”

Elizabeth gaped at him in shock and even her dad seemed taken aback.

“Well, that’s… I suppose that's certainly one way to look at it, Allen.”

“Daddy, you  _ can _ do both. Lots of actresses had kids and stuff. It’s no big deal.”

“There comes a time to set aside childish things, Susie. Once you grow up, you’ll understand.”

Grow up? Weren’t they already grown up? She couldn’t help but notice the way Wally kept mumbling across the table at his big brother the whole conversation, too. Stevie’s gaze was starting to sour a bit, which was great, but she was pretty aggravated at the collective attitude of these barbarians. Especially for Susie and Gloria’s sake.

She sat up straight and gave Wally what could only be described as an imperious look. “Oh, I think perhaps Wally has something he’d like to share with us.”

“Huh?” He frowned at her, “No, I don’t.”

James smiled politely and it was all teeth, “Come now, Walter. It’s a dinner party. Conversation is the currency of the realm we find ourselves in, my boy. Speak up.”

Wally’s face twisted into his usual sneer, “Okay, fine. I think my dad’s right. Women don’t need so many distractions from what their real jobs are. In fact, I think they have a few too many distractions here in the vault already. There’s a great many activities we ought to think about downsizing or eliminating altogether to maximize our efficiency.”

Her head tilted, “Maximize our efficiency at what, exactly?”

“Reproduction, of course!”

If she looked any more innocent she could be selling diapers, “So you believe if there were fewer distractions, we would have a better birth rate?”

“Absolutely!”

“Hmm, well, let's say that's true for a moment. What would women do during the nine and a half months between making the baby and actually having the baby then?”

“Prepare for its arrival, of course! It’s only common sense. Even a girl like you should be able to understand that.”

_ “A girl like her?” _ James fixed him with his best dad stare. “Do you mean the valedictorian of  _ your _ class, Walter?”

“Uh…”

Susie sipped her wine and giggled, “Oh, I just can’t _ wait  _ to have babies. I bet we’ll have a  _ million! _ Won’t that be nice, Butchie?”

He nodded and kept his head down, “Sure. Whatever you want.”

Mr. Mack harrumphed, “Now here’s a pair with their priorities straight.”

Elizabeth glanced down the table at Gloria and felt her heart break for the woman a little. She was smiling, sure, but there was a tightness around her eyes that spoke of deep inner turmoil. What kind of asshole talks about women being nothing but broodmares in front of his infertile wife? To say nothing of his daughter. Jesus. No wonder Susie had such weird ideas about… well, life in general. This house was practically an asylum run by the inmates.

“Your pot roast is wonderful, Gloria. You’re truly a gifted chef.”

Her smile turned real and absolutely sparkled. “Thank you, Elizabeth.”

“This is the best dinner I’ve ever had in my whole life.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you think so.”

She nodded at her and went back to her plate, only just catching the soft smile on Butch’s face. Her eyes met his for a moment and it instantly felt like a vice had gripped her heart. She took a sip of wine to help swallow down the lump in her throat and almost dropped her glass entirely when his shoe gently tapped her own.

Elizabeth went very still for a second before wiping her mouth to hide the small smile she couldn’t suppress. She was finished anyway, so she just kept her hands in her lap after. Saved her from having to worry about dropping anything else.

The tapping happened again and she deliberately turned her face away from him. Unfortunately that meant looking at Mr. Mack, who was terrifying, so she quickly averted her eyes to the paintings on the wall behind him. Pretending to politely admire the décor of the room while her pulse shot through the roof. The tapping got a little harder before stopping entirely and she let three full breaths go by before softly rubbing her shoe against his. Just once though. That’s all he was getting out of her until she knew what the hell was going on.

Suddenly his hand was resting on her thigh. Searing hot through the thin fabric of her dress just above her knee. Right under the tablecloth like he had a right. It took every ounce of acting ability she possessed to hold her slightly bored, banal expression even as she raged and stomped and swore in her head. How dare he mess with her like this after Friday?! And here of all places! Her cheeks felt hot but she turned back to hit him with a frosty glare anyway. She wasn’t really prepared for the quiet, almost apologetic smile he shot her and nearly panicked when his hand slid away.

She caught it without thinking and then froze. Too confused and overwhelmed to do anything more. His fingers wrapped around hers as his thumb rubbed across her knuckles. Heat rushed through her and she wanted to melt into a puddle right then and there.

Mr. Mack frowned at her, “What’s wrong with your face? It’s all red.”

“Uh…”

Gloria quietly tsked at him, “Oh, honey, leave her alone. Elizabeth probably isn’t used to having wine with dinner.”

She nodded and was finally able to breathe when Butch let her go. “Yes, that’s true. I… I’m sorry.” She covered her cheeks with her hands and laughed a little, “Goodness, they are hot, aren’t they? Maybe I had a bit too much. I think I’ll switch to water.”

“I thought you beatnik types partied a lot.”

“I… I’m not a… I’m sorry, a  _ beatnik? _ Is that what…”

James huffed, “My daughter is a highly trained, dedicated, classical musician and skilled entertainer, Allen. She is an  _ artist. _ She’s hardly a  _ beatnik.  _ Good heavens.”

Elizabeth stared at her dad in disbelief. He’d never defended her career before to anybody that she’d ever heard. This was… “Thank you, Dad.”

“You’re welcome. Credit is given where credit is due.”

Dessert arrived and they thankfully all had the distraction of Andy to focus on for a few minutes. Chocolate mousse according to their hostess, but she’d never seen anyone have the audacity to call pudding by such a fancy name before. Silence crept into the room but luckily Susie was there to beat it back into submission.

“Daddy, Elizabeth said the Overseer won’t let her put on  _ Guys and Dolls. _ Isn’t that silly?”

The whiplash of it all nearly got her, “What?”

Mr. Mack’s attention turned to his daughter and she was surprised at the look of paternal fondness there. Apparently the guy had at least a sliver of a heart. “What’s that, Susie-Q?”

_ “Guys and Dolls!” _

“M’hmm.”

“She said I’d be perfect for Sister Sarah!”

He frowned, “Who?”

Gloria answered, “The little angel from the Salvation Army.”

“Oh, right. Gets with Brando in the end.”

“Exactly. She rehabilitates him! Turns him into a proper gentleman and everything!” She huffed, “It’d be so perfect! Butchie could play Sky and Wally could be Nathan Detroit and it would be great!”

Wally grumbled, “I only agreed to  _ one _ musical.”

“Oh, that  _ does _ sound fun!” Gloria clapped, “Elizabeth, dear, who were you thinking of for Miss Adelaide?”

“Oh, uh… well, it’s hard to say, really. It’s such an unique part.”

Susie pouted, “And it wouldn’t matter anyway since mean ol’ Mr. Almodolvar said  _ no.” _

“Hmm.” Mr. Mack frowned, “Did he?”

“You know, Elizabeth knows everything about  _ everything _ when it comes to movies and stuff!” She beamed at her, “Tell Daddy what you told me about Brando and that part!”

“Oh, ah… well, Marlon Brando was such a powerhouse when it came to acting, you know. Extremely gifted and famous for his dedication and exquisite, refined taste in selecting which parts to accept.” She realized she was babbling from nervousness but the oddly encouraging look on her dad’s face had her continuing. A bit of her teacher's voice slipping in there unbidden but certainly useful if her hunch at his plan here was correct.

Not a  _ mouse, _ but a  _ duchess. _

“Of course he was quite attractive as well. Which no doubt helped draw people to the box office. In fact, in his prime, he was considered by many to be the most handsome actor to ever grace the silver screen.”

Susie’s elbows landed with a thump on the table and she set her chin in her hands like she could listen to her all night. Elizabeth smiled and settled her attention directly onto her as though she were her star pupil and kept right on babbling. Lots of gesturing and animated expressions to make her seem louder than she really was.

“His first roles weren’t even on the screen, actually, but on Broadway! First in  _ I Remember Mama _ in 1944. Just two years later and he had  _ five _ notable roles under his belt, which is quite astounding for an unknown! He'd already been lauded by several critics for being bold and daring. Brutally honest with his audiences, too, which is of course only natural. I mean, he was an Aries, right?” She laughed behind her hand and barely took a breath before resuming.

“He was actually passed over for a role in  _ Sunset Boulevard _ in 1950, which I’m sure the director later deeply regretted, though no one can argue William Holden didn’t do a remarkable job there. Instead he was in a little known picture called _ The Men, _ which was a colossal failure. Just did a  _ terrible _ job at the box office despite being a wonderful film. Really it was just a little too dark and introspective for the time. It’s about an injured veteran who struggles to reenter society, you see. It just hit a little too close to home for most audiences. Honestly, if it had come out just ten years later, people probably would have adored it. It’s a very touching movie with some really strong performances. You could almost call it a lost classic. Brando actually checked himself into the Birmingham General Army Hospital just outside of Hollywood so that he could lend a note of authenticity to his part. He was quite famous for things like that. Always very eager to learn all he could before taking on a role.  _ Dedicated. _ Very dedicated and an extremely empathetic and passionate sort of person, which really shines through his work.”

“Anyway, Brando was, of course, the original Stanley from  _ A Streetcar Named Desire, _ even before it became a movie. Interestingly enough, not the first casting choice for the play though which seems ridiculous now as his performance has become ubiquitous to the role. In 1951, he reprised the part on the big screen in only his  _ second movie ever made! _ Isn’t that just astounding when you think of the quality of his work in that film? I mean, just holding his own with a legend like Vivian Leigh would have been remarkable enough, but he was actually nominated for best actor! It’s an absolute travesty of justice that it didn’t go to him, really, but the field that year was quite intense.”

Susie actually raised her hand before asking, “Who won?”

“Humphrey Bogart for  _ The African Queen.” _

“Ugh, I hate that movie.”

“Hmm, well, while it’s true that time has proven  _ The African Queen _ to certainly be no  _ Streetcar _ in terms of cultural influence or relevance, it still holds up. I would highly encourage you to watch it again and really pay attention to Katherine Hepburn’s remarkably nuanced performance there. In fact, 1951 was a banner year for cinema! You had  _ A Place in the Sun, Death of a Salesman, _ and a whole host of other movies that really capitalized on the rejuvenation of the American spirit after World War II. See, it wasn’t until that year that we gained enough distance from the horror of the war to begin exploring our new national collective psyche. The contribution of these films to the zeitgeist of the nineteen-fifties cannot be overstated.”

“Now, as I was saying, Brando was famous, or as some directors and producers would say,  _ infamous _ rather, ha ha, for being very selective with his roles. He had an eye for characters with depth, you know. Very discriminating taste. Though, in all honesty, he was a rather capricious person and sometimes made career choices based on the silliest criteria. For example, he actually passed over the lead in  _ Lawrence of Arabia _ because he didn’t care for camels or the desert and had been offered  _ Mutiny on the Bounty, _ which was being filmed in Tahiti.” She paused thoughtfully and shot the others at the table a conspiratorial grin, “I think we can all agree if the choices are a tropical island paradise or a harsh desert, we know which one we’d pick, hmm? I certainly know where I'd rather be!”

“Brando was also a man of deep moral convictions and was quite progressive for the time. He was a known civil rights activist and strongly supported integration and also holding the government accountable for their unspeakable cruelty towards Native Americans. He famously declined accepting his Oscar for his work in  _ The Godfather _ by having Sacheen Littlefeather, an Apache actress, give a speech on the shameful portrayal of Native Americans in Hollywood. It was all quite scandalous at the time.”

“But, again, a man of  _ deep _ convictions. The further along in his career he got, the more adamant he was about choosing roles that  _ mattered. _ Parts that would resonate with people and enlighten them to new ways of thinking. And it was because of this that he passed over a role in  _ Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid _ for the lead in a movie that barely got any attention at all.  _ Burn! _ was a remarkable film. It truly was.  _ Adored _ by critics. The subject matter was just a little too complex for the average summer blockbuster audience. You see, Brando plays an  _ agent provocateur _ sent by the British to this fictional island called Queimada. He’s supposed to lead an African slave revolt there to weaken the Portugesuse’s hold over the island so the British can install their own puppet regime to rule. There's a  _ lot _ of politics and violence and, of course, nearly endless atrocities committed against the innocents involved. It’s one of those movies that’s hard to watch, but you  _ should _ watch it  _ specifically because it’s hard to watch. _ After all, we must never forget the horrors man has visited upon man in the past, or we will be doomed to repeat them in the future. Historians also loved the film, incidentally. Though fictional and not based on any singular event, or even a specific series of events, the story combines elements of real-life atrocities committed by colonizing forces in the Caribbean and elsewhere.”

Susie breathed, “Can you imagine? Passing up  _ Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!” _

Elizabeth nodded, “The man was an inspiration.”

“Goodness. Which part did he pass up?”

“They were willing to let him be either lead.”

Gloria’s eyes went wide, “Wow. What a noble thing to do.”

“Well, I don’t know if we could go that far. Brando was also a notorious womanizer, though he did seem to genuinely love each and every one of the  _ dozens _ of women he went through. _ Eleven children, _ you know. Also, he was known for having a very violent temper, though only with men, and having zero restraint over it unless it suited him. He was quite fond of beating the paparazzi senseless and the like. Him and Frank Sinatra had a famously tumultuous relationship on the set of  _ Guys and Dolls. _ He was a man of extremes, you see. If he liked you, he _ loved _ you. If he didn’t like you, he _ loathed _ you. It was once said that he was rock and roll before anyone knew what rock and roll was, and that’s quite on the nose.”

“Really, to truly know him, you have to go all the way back to a charming farmhouse in Omaha, Nebraska. 1924. Marlon Brando junior was born to his parents, Marlon Brando senior and his lovely wife, Dorothy Julia Pennebaker, on April third. The youngest in a family of --”

_ “Good God! _ She  _ never stops!” _

Elizabeth ignored Wally and Butch’s snickering and blinked at Stevie’s outburst, “Pardon?”

James smiled proudly, “Yes, she’s quite well-versed in the history of cinema. The stage, too. Dearest, do tell Gloria that interesting little story you told me about Shakespeare’s original acting troupe, would you?”

She grinned back at him, “Sure! Scholars believe William Shakespeare was born around --”

A quiet buzz filled the room and James held up his hand, “Oh, hold on...  _ drat.  _ That’s Jonas. I’m needed in the lab and it is getting very late, poppet.” He sighed, “I’m so sorry, Gloria. Perhaps next time.”

“Oh. Oh, okay.”

“Come along, Elizabeth. Tomorrow’s Monday, you know. Back to the grind, as they say."

“M’hmm. Right.” She smiled apologetically at their hostess as she stood, “I’m so sorry. I have a music class first thing in the morning.”

“Oh, that’s quite alright, dear.”

Susie pouted, “Aw. I was really learnin’ somethin’.”

Her mother pouted with her, “I’m sure we can have the Booths over again, sweetie.”

Mr. Mack looked like he wanted to throttle them both over the idea but grumbled, “Of course. Some other time.”

James took her arm and nodded politely, “Gloria, Allen. Children. Good night.”

Elizabeth nodded, too. “Yes, good night. We had a lovely time!” She somehow managed to contain her giggling until they were walking down the hallway back to their quarters, but only just. “Oh, my God! Did you see Stevie’s face?!”

He snorted with amusement, “I’m fairly certain that could not have gone any better than if we’d rehearsed it.”

“How many words did I use that he’ll have to look up later in a dictionary, do you think? Ten? Twenty, maybe?”

“Ha! He’d have to have the capacity for retaining them first.”

“Mr. Mack and Wally are so gross! All that prehistoric talk about a woman’s role and all. Where do they get off!?”

“I just pity poor Gloria and little Susan.”

She sighed, “I know. It's just awful.”

James chortled, “Come to think of it, put Butch on the list of hapless unfortunates, too. Only eighteen and already out to pasture as stud. Good lord.”

“Ha… yeah. Yeah, that’s…”

His eyes narrowed as he studied her face, “Elizabeth?”

“Hmm?”

“What was that little moment before dinner between you and Butch? He isn’t still picking on you, is he? Childish bullying is generally considered illegal once you become an adult, you know.”

“Oh, no, it’s… he isn’t bothering me. Susie just wanted us to be friends. It’s… it was awkward, was all.”

“Hmm.” He stared at her until she dropped her eyes and then frowned thoughtfully at her necklace. “Awkward, you say?”

“M’hmm. No big deal.”

“Right.”

She stepped out of her shoes the moment they were inside and picked them up, “Did Jonas actually need you or was that just part of the act?”

“He does, but he didn’t message me right then. I just pretended he did.” He shrugged and started undoing his tie. “I already told him I’d be there for the swing shift tonight.”

“Dad, you’re quite the actor yourself.”

“Sweetheart, you have no idea.”

She rolled her eyes, “M’kay. I’m going to get changed and get ready for bed.”

“Alright…” He watched her head for her room for a moment. “Lisbet?”

“Hmm? Yeah, Dad?” She turned and tilted her head at the weird look on his face. He seemed awfully worried for how well things had gone. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just…” He sighed, “Sometimes I forget how old you are. It’s not my place to tell you how to live your life anymore.”

“Huh?”

“Just… be careful, alright? Try to make good choices.”

She was starting to feel a little on the spot and laughed nervously, “Okay then. Ominous dad advice dispensed and received.”

“No, just… nevermind. I’m being silly.”

“What else is new?” She laughed at his cranky face and slipped into her room where she could have a heart attack in peace.

He knew. He totally knew. He didn’t wanna know and he was obviously happy to pretend otherwise, but she was about eighty-five percent certain her dad knew all about her and Butch. Somehow. That weird Dad radar he had must have kicked in or something. Dammit.

Elizabeth carefully stepped out of her gown and put it back in the bag it had come in. Chances were good she’d never wear it again, but she didn’t want anything to happen to it. Just in case. It had been crazy expensive, after all. Maybe one day when Amata and Freddie tied the knot, they could get it dyed and she’d wear it as a bridesmaid’s dress or something.

Dad was already gone by the time she slipped into a nightgown and peeked out her room. She sighed in relief and headed for the bathroom to wash the goop off her face. As much as she liked spending extra time with him, and she definitely did, she didn’t need him circling around her, asking seemingly innocent questions until she unwittingly confessed stuff like always. The Butch thing was over and done with and there was no point in getting everyone upset over a thing that had already ceased to be.

Or had it? He was… weird at dinner. She’d figured he would be, of course, but it was a different kind of weird than she’d planned for. More Mr. Darcy after the first failed confession than Jerry Lewis in  _ The Nutty Professor. _ She’d been prepared for painfully obvious ignoring and the occasional off-color joke at her expense, not for clandestine touches and regretful glances.

She finally flopped down on her bed and picked up her Pipboy. Amata and Freddie were going to get a hoot out of how everything shook out with Stevie. He’d been looking at her like she’d suddenly turned into an alien the whole time she’d been monologuing so she was pretty sure she’d been crossed off the perspective brides list. Thankfully. She clicked over to her messaging screen and felt adrenaline shoot through her as soon as she saw the screen.

_ BRMC-TS: U looked beautiful tonight. _

_ BRMC-TS: That’s what I meant 2 say. _

_ BRMC-TS: The dress really was nice tho. _

_ BRMC-TS: Stevie’s terrified of U now, jsyk. _

_ BRMC-TS: Thinks UR nuts. _

_ BRMC-TS: BC he’s stupid. _

_ BRMC-TS: Dunno if these R going through or not. U prob blocked me already. _

_ BRMC-TS: Need 2T2U. _

_ BRMC-TS: ? _

_ BRMC-TS: K. I get it. _

_ BRMC-TS: Just realized IDK if U’ve even checked this yet. LOL _

_ BRMC-TS: Really wanna see U. _

_ BRMC-TS: Plz? _

Elizabeth frowned at the messages. The last three were sent almost a full ten minutes after the others, which started almost as soon as they’d left the Macks. Blocking him… she hadn’t even thought about that. That was the smart thing to do here, right? Just block him, erase the messages and ignore him as much as possible until the day she died.

That would be the right choice. The good choice. Dad had specifically told her to try to make good choices.

Anyway, what the hell was she even supposed to say? What the hell did  _ he _ want to say that he hadn’t already said? They were done. He’d said so. More than once. He was probably just buzzed from dinner and it  _ had _ been a really nice dress. Maybe he was just confused or something.

She sighed and typed out ‘what do you want?’ before immediately erasing it. That sounded too harsh and it’s not like she could send a happy face at the end of it to let him know she wasn’t asking it in a mean way. She frowned hard and tried to will her brain into coming up with something clear and concise but it didn’t. It couldn’t because nothing about this situation made a damn bit of sense to her whatsoever. Not his behavior, not even her own. She was just… lost.

_ Starshine: ? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from a Marlon Brando quote: "If you want something from an audience, you give blood to their fantasies. It's the ultimate hustle."
> 
> You guys wanted to learn a lot about Brando today, right? LOL


End file.
